It’s an Underworld Weekend!

This weekend’s new movies are not looking too bad. I personally have enjoyed the “Underworld” series, so I am rather stoked for the new edition. Now, as a warning to all die-hard fans, Selene is not in this one, as it is a prequel. But since the Kate Beckinsale’s husband is Len Wiseman, the director of the film, I am betting she might make a cameo at the end, to set up her story. Just sayin’.

Opening this weekend is:
1. “Underworld: Rise of the Lyans”
2. “Hotel for Dogs” (barf)
3. “Inkheart”
4. “Dark Knight” in IMAX theatres

Ok, so maybe over-estimated this weekends movies. “Underworld” looks awesome, but “Inkheart” looks like its standard Brandon Fraser cheesy (I really believe he looks for movies that have a specific cheese value) and “Hotel for Dogs“, which might look cute for some, but for me, it gives me flashbacks of “Nancy Drew”, and those, my friend, are not pretty.

“Underworld” is centering on the the origins of the feud between the vampires (Death Dealers) and werewolves (Lycans). Some of the back story was revealed in the first movie of the series, but this one goes in-depth and shows the relationship between Lucian and Sonja. It stars Rhona Mitra, Michael Sheen, and Bill Nighy.

“Inkheart” is about a father who has the ability to bring characters from books to life when reading the books aloud. Of course he accidently brings evil people to life and sets off a series of antics. It stars Brandon Fraser (of course), but shockingly Paul Bettany and Andy Serkis.

“Hotel for Dogs” is the heartwarming tale of a group of kids who find an abandoned hotel and start taking care of stray dogs in it. In its official description, the hotel becomes “a magical dog paradise”, but my favorite line is :

When barking dogs make the neighbors suspicious, Andi and Bruce use every invention they have to avoid anyone discovering ‘who let the dogs in.’

*gags*

I predict “Underworld” will win this weekend’s box office, but I could be biased. Anyone want to contest my prediction?

Kanye West Snubs Bisexual Porn Rumors But Loves His Fug Shoes

Kanye West is hitting back angrily over reports and and at internet hackers trying to up his online presence by hacking his personal Web and e-mail accounts, including a fake “Twitter” account, and spreading the rumor that he’s signed up to appear in a bisexual porn film. The fake “Twitter” account resulted in a feud between him and US TV host Stephen Colbert.

Per NME via KanyeUniverseCity.com

“Why won’t you let me be great? I read some shit claiming I said I’m down to do porn and some bisexual porn! First people believed the Twitter/Steven Colbert thing. Now somebody has been hacking into my MySpace and somebody’s actually hacked into my personal Gmail account and has been e-mailing people from it. Hey world, I no longer have Gmail! I found out I had 12 unautharised Skype accounts under my name! It’s not official. I just gave the performance of my life for our new President… please I beg you, give me a break! Please! Let me be great! Who have I hurt so bad that they want to destroy me? Who have I ever spoke about so negatively? I was just speaking to our new President two days ago. Never take a picture from my Obama performance and put it next to a quote like that [on a false blog]! That’s in poor taste! Look how fresh my suit is… ’nuff said.”

In the story, that circulated on numerous websites, including the the adult media network “AVN”, West supposedly said he was “open to doing porn”, adding “Hell, I’ll even do bisexual scenes”. However, “AVN” has since retracted the story and said the it had originated from an anonymous poster on “AllHipHop. The poster claimed to have obtained a series of quotes from an interview with West that the rapper did with journalist called David Watts. They also added that the quotes were found to be false after they were attributed to a magazine “which has never run any such interview with West and never employed a writer by the name of ‘David Watts’”. West, already disappointed at criticism, thrown at him by 50 Cent, he called for any potential hackers to “give me a break.” 50 Cent has been extremely outspoken of his dislike for West, made fun at his decision to sing on his latest album, and makes frequent statements on Kanye’s sexuality. 50 Cent has been outspoken in his criticism of West, poking fun at his decision to sing on his latest album.

Per Starpulse Via Bossip

“Just as a real human being, I can’t say that it doesn’t affect me. I was such a fan of 50. 50 is one of those rappers that I said was the end-all-be-all (sic) of what rap what supposed to be. Like, a true iconic rapper.” Admitting the verbal attacks have left him reeling, West goes on to say “For me, as a fan of him, I felt, like, if he said something negative and tried to make it like I’m negative, it’s almost like if a little kid walks up to you at the airport and is like, ‘Man, I love you so much,’ and then you spit on him. It’s like, ‘I don’t know if I love you as much as I used you,’ as you wipe the spit off your face. But you still play their music.”

Riiiiigggggght. So enough of that nonsense. Here is Kanye continuing the fug train with some awful red shoes inspired shoes. Now look at what he has done. He got Marc Jacobs all excited. As for the awful red shoes….Dorothy did it better so sit down Kanye. ‘Nuff said.’

Mariah Carey Threw at Fit at Inaugural Ball

You know heads are going to roll when Mimi gets mad. Someone had to the nerve to stick her at the meager VIP table studded with fellow celebs. Carey wanted to sit on Barack Obama’s lap at talk about “Gossip Girls.”

Spies present at the Inagural Ball stated that Mariah Carey through a fit after discovering she wasn’t going to sit with the President. After she performed for the Obama’s she left in huff, furious at the thought she’d have to sit with the commoners.

Via Page Six:

“Mariah was in the VIP area, where every celebrity, like Jon Bon Jovi, Mary J. Blige, Alicia Keys and Bruce Springsteen, was seated. But somehow she thought she’d be up with the Obama family. When she realized she wasn’t, she bailed.”

Mariah wasn’t the only one who was angry. Sean Combs, Diddy, Puffy whatever was also pissy because Jay-Z got to perform while he was left sitting in the crowd.

Oh for the love of Sparklepants! These celebrity egos are ridiculous. At least have the talent to back it up. I know that they wake up in the morning a piss excellence, but this some John Mayer shiz.

[Keep Click Thumbnails for Larger Images]

Images Via: Celebrity Snap

Camilla Belle Name Drops Robert Pattinson, Calls “Twilight” Nonsense

Actress and Joe Jonas’ flavor of the month, Camilla Belle is Nylon Magazine’s latest cover girl. She graces the cover just in time to promote her latest movie, “Push,” which she stars in opposite Chris Evans. I don’t know about you, but Ms. Belle is noticeably absent from all the trailers I have seen on television. This is likely due to the throngs of tween-infested hate-mail she receives on a daily basis because of her relationships with both Joe Jonas and Robert Pattinson.

For her interview she gets really “in depth” and answers troubling questions like, “What’s it like to work with Bruce Willis?” and reveals that working on the film “10,000 BC” left her feeling like an unchallenged “puppet”.

Unfortunately for Camilla, no one is interested in any of that crap. We all want to know what she thinks about her dear friend/ex-tonsil hockey partner “Twilight” hottie Robert Pattinson. She manages to futher herself into the hate list of tweens everywhere by calling the vampire thriller taking the hearts of teenagers (and older women who secretly read it under the covers with a flashlight) everywhere, “nonsense.”

Via Nylon Magazine online:

“My friend Rob [Pattinson], for that whole ‘Twilight’ nonsense, the studio was having them take all these classes. It was the most frustrating thing in the world because they want you to speak like someone else, not yourself. It’s so silly. And I would be frustrated, too. I couldn’t answer questions any other way than how I would answer them.”

And we can see from your response you missed a class or two yourself, Camilla. Mistake number one: calling “Twilight” nonsense is not going to get anyone with two boobs and heartbeat to listen to anything you have to say or see any movie you are in. Mistake number two: you left out all the juicy details about Sparklepants: Does he sleep with socks on? Does he put the seat down? When is he returning from London? And why hasn’t he called me back? Nice way to name drop though.

Kelly Osbourne Back to Rehab

Kelly Osbourne, the foul mouthed daughter of Ozzy Osbourne, is back in rehab. The wannabe singer did a stint in 2005. At the time the family was filming their reality series and Kelly was abusing pain killers.

Her rep confirmed that she voluntarily checked herself into a facility to get help. Drugs or alcohol were not sited for the reason for treatment. She is trying to pull a Kristen Dunst and stating it’s due to personal issues and will only be there for 30 days.

Via People:

“Kelly Osbourne has voluntarily entered a medical facility to address some personal issues. Her family stands by and supports her.”

This follows Kelly’s arrest for slapping a reporter for poking fun at her boyfriend. (Click HERE to read up on that mess.)MeanwhileSharon Osbourne, her mother, confirmed to Radar that the family is just doing what the can for her.

“Yeah, Kelly’s in rehab. What else can we say? She knew that it was the right thing to do at this point and we’re proud that she did it. The family is all standing behind her. Kelly knew that she needed help and she’s getting it.”

Trips to rehab are like trips to the spa for the Osbourne family. I do hope the best for Kelly because I am pretty sure she could kick my rump and she seems like the type who’d put Nair in your shampoo. So best of luck!

Pete Wentz – Fashion Disaster

Uggs or whatever these wookies strapped to his legs are a trend I will never understand. Every time I see women wearing these I think…“Oh honey….no.” But then you have Pretty Pretty Princess of the Emo’s, Pete Wentz.

I am just going to say is…

No straight male looks at these boots and thinks….“Yeah, I’m totally gonna rock these.” He looks like a butch Bobby Trendy headed to “Hot Topic” to school his minions on fame mongering.

What Others Said:

Dlisted - ” I don’t know one singular homo who would dirty their fancy little feet with this. Well, maybe just Gay Al Reynolds, but he would only rock this in the comfort of a circuit party.”

Grey’s Anatomy – Penile Fractures – Video

Ahhh, yes the“Grey’s Anatomy” broken penis episode. It was worth sitting through weird ghost humping high school crap that Meredith and Christina are going through.

I am slowly giving up on the show due to the ghost whisper/humper Izzy-fest, the lack of George and Meredith and Christina’s ongoing 13 year old silent treatment crap. Oh the fact that the Nazi is a now a spineless bag of tears.

Last night had one redeeming quality. McSteamy broke his penis. Yup. Worth it. Also, a broken penis or penile fracture can actually happen. According to the Wiki:

“Penile fracture is an extremely rare injury caused by the rupture of the tunica albuginea, which envelops the corpus cavernosum penis. It is an uncommon injury, most often caused by a blunt trauma to an erect penis.”

Yup. It can actually happen, but it wouldn’t take something of incredible force to do it. I am thinking Madonna’s no-no on steroids. Meh…even without the steroids…Anyway, Now that Denny appears to be gone and Izzy can go back to brushing her hair and complaining about being gorgeous.

[Keep Click Thumbnails for Larger Images]

Kristen Stewart Sensitive On “New Moon” Changes- Video

While at Sundance promoting her film “Adventureland” reporters didn’t care much to ask about the film Kristen Stewart was there promoting. Instead she was probed about her concerns with “Twilight” sequel, “New Moon.”

Via MTV:

“It’s such a machine now. All of a sudden, this movie has become [something bigger],” she explained. “With all the expectations — usually, you make a movie and think, ‘If it touches people, great; if it doesn’t, then you move on to the next one, and no one’s personally affected by it.’ [But] everyone’s really sensitive with any changes right now.

Everyone needs to be on the same page to make the same movie [as the original 'Twilight' was],” she said of the upcoming “New Moon” shoot. “Or else it will be a very disoriented project.”

While she combats fears of the fears of a wrench being thrown into the “machine” she is tickled pink over the casting issue. Taylor Lautner fought to keep his role as Jacob Black for the vampire sequel. Stewart is thrilled that he will continue in the role as her werewolf best friend.

“Yeah, absolutely,” Stewart said. “I’m so glad they didn’t have to find somebody else; we already had him! I didn’t understand all the deliberation on [whether to bring him back]. But now that it’s set, we can all rest. He’s really buff!”

Of course she talked about Sparklepants. Kristen did not admit her undying love for Robert Pattinson, but she did mention he is happier back in London.

“I think he’s OK. He’s back in London now, which makes it easier for him. It’s funny. It only affects you when you come to something like [Sundance]. And then, other than that, he’s totally the same guy he always was.”

Only drunk, hot and singing the panties off of London women. Lucky London sluts.

[Keep Click Thumbnails for Larger Images]

Photos Via: INF Daily

‘Lost’ Recap and Rehash

Since I am new to writing for The Dame, you may not know that I have a problem with becoming obsessed with things. It may be evident somewhat in my “Twilight ” related write-ups (which is the latest fixation of my self-diagnosed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), but if it wasn’t, is surely will be now because “Lost” is back and I am happy.

If you don’t watch “Lost” then you probably shouldn’t read this. It won’t make any sense and there is no way I can recap what you have missed during the past four seasons. You have a choice to make, turn on “American Idol,” or get yourself the DVD’s of seasons 1-4. I can promise you only this-the dudes on the Lost island are WAY hotter than Simon and Randy and the chicks are too (not that Paula gives much competition).

Last night while watching the premiere of the first two episodes, I actually took notes. Don’t worry; my Nerd-Of-The-Year award will be arriving any day now. I was prepared to discuss the show in sequence, but after outlining (I told you, the award is on its way!) my notes, I think it would be best if I just focused on the characters. I have combined both episodes so get off my back if things don’t go in chronological order. Here it goes:

Dr. Pierre Chang…if that’s your real name

This dude IS the Dharma Initiative. Dr. Chang has been in every Dharma Orientation video, using a variety of fire-inspired aliases, telling us what is going on in the various Dharma stations. For the most part, these videos have provided only more questions since, amazingly, they always seem to skip and jump right at the point when the doc is about to reveal something crucial. Crazy.

This time, however, things were different. He wasn’t just shown in an old home movie. He was at home in othersville, with what appeared to be his wife and baby, getting ready to go and make a video.

ASSUMPTION: Speculation began last year that Miles was somehow related to Dr. Chang. Now that we know Dr. Chang had a baby in what appeared to be the mid 1970’s (though I was a mere light in the eye of my mother at that time, I am coming to this conclusion based on the furnishings of the home, the bottles used by the doctor, etc.). Though I am not sure how old Miles is supposed to be, he looks like he could be rolling with those of us who parted high school in the 1990’s, thus leading me to assume that he is in fact Dr. Chang’s son. Now please, rip me apart and tell me how wrong I am.

Dr. Chang is called away to the Orchid Station where, in short, he tells the people to stop drilling before they hit the “limitless amount of energy” and kill everyone. He states something about time travel that only people much smarter than me can figure out and leaves…and Daniel Faraday shows up. This is awesome. It’s awesome because we rarely get any answers on Lost, and we got one at this point: time travel is going on people and Faraday is using it somehow. However, as usual this poses more questions: Where are the others? The other others? And Faraday, are you wearing that skinny-tie under that Dharma suit?

Continue Lost Recap and Rehash With Crista Webster After the Fold, Click “Read More…”

[Read more...]

Diane Sawyer Drunk on ‘Good Morning America’ – Video

This is fantastic! If Diane Sawyer was hammered everyday I would totally love these morning news show instead of “Golden Girl” reruns.

Sawyer appeared to be drunk on “Good Morning America” while reporting on the inauguration and the Jonas Brother’s popping out of the Obama girls’ closet. (Yes, those lucky Presidential children went on a White House scavenger hunt and found the Jonai at the end of their game. Subsequently, I will be the worst parent ever, as for my children’s birthdays they are lucky I don’t cut my mother-in-law instead of the cake.)

Anyway, Diane pulled a Paula Abdul and slurred her words during interview and asked Robin Roberts if she wanted to see her butterfly tattoo she got on her boobie. Ok….so the butterfly tat part didn’t happen, but she did slur her words and you know a ho like Sawyer has a tramp stamp. She did however talk about her hooker boots and “tiny little citizens.”

ABC is trying to pull the old “she was up all night working” but we all know Meemaw just can’t hold her liquor like she used to.

What Others Said:

Gawker: “Thanks, ABC, for not pulling her off the air despite all this slurred nonsense.”