Completely “Lost” Recap- “LaFleur”

OK “Lost” fans, brace yourselves. This week’s installment of our favorite show, “LaFleur” was what many of us call a ‘filler episode’. It showed us what happened to our friends on the island (Sawyer, Juliette, Miles, Daniel, and my boy Jin) during the three year absence of the Oceanic Six.

Instead of boring you all with a play-by-play recap (I mean, you did watch the show, right?), I will just give you the gist of it and then move on to what you all want to read about anyway: another one of my harebrained ideas of what is going on with this show.

Long Story Short (if I am capable of that)

The show begins oddly by showing Sawyer as part of the Dharma Initiative on a mission to stop good Old Horace Goodspeed from blowing himself up. However, I want to start back three years earlier where our dear island friends (and a clothed Sawyer-Boo! Hiss!) are going through a shift in time prior to my man Locke moving the frozen donkey wheel (weird). We are quickly shown a VERY Egyptian looking statue from behind. It’s obviously Egyptian since the statue is holding onto two ankhs. Is this the same four–toed statue we were introduced to (and then deserted from) two seasons ago? Don’t know. Here’s the speculation. In last week’s episode, we were shown Locke’s foot while it was in a cast. He had only four toes. This likely means the statue represents Locke. Since we didn’t see the feet of this statue, it is possible that they are one in the same (I will get to that connection later).

Time shifts again, though differently this time. As Miles describes, it was more like an earthquake than a flash. Daniel explains that the shifting is done and Juliette gives Locke mad props for making it all happen. Our friends no longer suffer from headaches or bloody noses and are ready to assimilate into whenever they are.

Continue Reading Completely Lost – Recap After the Cut – Click “Read More…”

Naturally, they hear gunshots (this island is so very violent) and end up saving a woman from two “hostiles” though they were too late to save her husband who is dead. She’s all, “Hey guys thanks, let’s chill back at my place,” and leads them off to what we know as ‘Othersville’. Amy, as we learn that’s what her name is, is a tricky one, and takes out friends through the sonic barrier fence claiming she’s turned it off, only to have our friends bake for a moment and pass out.

When he comes to, Sawyer is interrogated by Horace Goodspeed (we’ve seen him chopping trees with a nosebleed in Locke’s dreams). Remember when Sayid led interrogations ninja-style? Ah, the good old days. Anyway, seeing as how Sawyer used to earn a living telling lies, it doesn’t take him long to give Goodspeed a convincing story and some aliases for everyone. Goodspeed tells Sawyer (now, LaFleur) that he and the rest will board the sub in the morning and leave the island.

Before Sawyer can make reservations in Dharma Land to stay a while longer, sirens go off and everyone makes a run for it; “The Hostiles are coming!!!!”.

Good old Richard Alpert and his eyebrows emerge from the dark. He’s well dressed, clean, and fresh from a plucking (I saw a little redness, Rich!). Goodspeed comes out to speak to him. They discuss the weather on the island and the fact that their truce is now void. Oh no. Sawyer decides to let Richard and his brows know what’s up. He assumes responsibility for killing Alpert’s men, and reminds him of their mutual friend John Locke, thus proving that there is more to Sawyer than just another Dharma jumpsuit.

For saving everyone, Goodspeed tells Sawyer he and the rest can stay another two weeks. This, as we know, turns into three years. During that time a lot happens: Sawyer gets a legit job as Dharma’s security head, Jules shows us her inner lesbian and becomes a mechanic, Jin gets a copy of Rosetta Stone and becomes fluent in English, and oh yea, Jules and Sawyer turn into Walt and June Clever complete with dinners with Dharma merlot and heavy duty make-out/I love you more sessions.

In the end, Goodspeed and Amy have married and she’s pregnant. She goes into labor early and, with no OB-GYN on the island, Jules is summoned from work to deliver the healthy baby boy. After the previously mentioned hard core making out between the two, Sawyer receives a phone call (Hey writers! What’s up with Sawyer being clothed while sleeping and Jules being topless? That’s not what I mentioned in my letters to you on making the show better!) from Jin telling him about the return of Hurley, Jack, and that girl…what’s her name? Freckles who?

Now for what you have been waiting for: Boss Webster’s WTF? Moments of the Week

1. Prior to the alarms sounding, a shaken Faraday sees little girl Charlotte walking with her mom (and asking about her dad). This little girl is clearly at least six years old. For your sake, I will subtract two years and give you four. This would mean Charlotte was born in 1970, making her 34 in 2004 when we saw her as an adult. Not buying it. Jules may be 34, but there is no way Charlotte was that old-not even when I give you two years!

2. Anyone care that Rose and Bernard are still missing?!? It’s been three years and no one has found them? Anyone? Anyone?

Now for my assumptions (I prefer not to call them theories as they will change again next week):

1. Amy and Horace Goodspeed’s son is Sawyer: Before you jump all over me on this one, allow me to back this up. First: When Sawyer removes the bag from Amy’s head at the beginning of the show, did anyone else notice the look on his face? The camera spent a good five seconds on it so we would notice his, “Holy hell, ma?” reaction. Second: We know that Sawyer’s father is a drunk who kills his mom then himself due to his turmoil dealing with the other men in her past. We saw this tonight when Horace was drunk because of fighting with Amy about Paul. He passes out and misses the birth. Third: During the time shifts, I mentioned that Sawyer’s nose began to bleed before Jin or Locke’s. Now we know why. He was born on the island. Fourth: Though it wasn’t mentioned, I am willing to bet that the baby is named James (after James LaFleur, of course).

2. Prior to discussing ‘things’ with Richard, Sawyer makes a comment to Goodspeed that he is going to have a chat with the guy wearing the eyeliner. I laughed when I heard this because, for the first time, Alpert’s loveliness was referenced on the show. Then I had an epiphany: Alpert is wearing eyeliner just like many Egyptian gods did. Egyptian statues are on the island (think flashback from earlier tonight and Smokey’s house of hieroglyphics).
After consulting with my dear friends, the Doctor Professor and the Judge, we found some very interesting parallels between our friends and Egyptian Gods. Though there are many, I am only going to point out a few:

A. Osiris: The God of the underworld-Osiris was brought to the underworld through treachery and, due to a loophole, had to stay there (even dead gods could not return to the land of the living). It is his job to test those that seek to enter the underworld to prove if they are worthy to enter “The Blessed Land”, which is like the land of the living only there is no sorrow or pain. That sounds like the island to me. However, which of our Losties would represent Osiris? I can’t be Locke or Jack, who have both left the island. Could Osiris be Jacob? I don’t think so, as another god describes him better. How about Sawyer? Thinks about it; Sawyer has now had two opportunities to leave the island but has not. Was he brought to the island via treachery? You bet! He went to Australia to kill a man he believed was his father, only to learn after that he had been duped.

B. Amun: The God of creation-Amun created all things yet remains separate from them all. He cannot be seen and is believed to be invisible. Totally Jacob.

C. Horus: The God of protection, laws, rulers, and war-Horus’ job is to protect living rulers. He was brought from outside Egypt to be the God of war, but soon became very religious. He was also a dutiful son. This has to be Locke! At first, I was drawn to Horus because Mr. Goodspeed shared his name. However, when I really stop to think about the description, it fits my man Locke in so many ways. He was originally really bad-ass. Remember all the knives he brought for the Walkabout? The dude could kill a boar with his bare hands. However, after coming to the island, he became a true man of faith. And let’s not forget that Locke is far beyond being a dutiful son. His creep of a dad stole his kidney and he still couldn’t bring himself to wrap those chains around his neck.

D. Set-The God of the desert, storms, and violence-All the research I read pretty much stated that Set was pure evil. He killed Horus’ father to try to claim the kingdom himself (i.e. Horus is the true leader). The two fought over and over until Horus’ mother tricked Set into admitting what he did was wrong. He was then banished to the Sahara Desert. Ben. ‘Nuff said.

And finally (I know, I said this would be short…sorry!)

E. Ammit the Destroyer: Ammit was a monster who served Osiris in the underworld. It was Ammit’s job to judge those who tried to enter the Blessed Land. If the person was thought to be more evil than good, Ammit would destroy the person. This is our dear friend Smokey. Not only does he live in some weird Egyptian tomb, but everyone he has killed has, in fact, been evil. Yes! Even our beloved Mr. Eko wasn’t exactly a great guy. He killed a man in cold blood, became a drug runner, and ended up being the reason why his brother-A PRIEST-was shot and killed. Eko’s problem is that he had a heavy heart about this which is the legend behind how Ammit would judge: he would weigh the person’s heart.