John Mayer: Don’t Hate Me Because I’m a Slut

Just when you think John Mayer could further his douchebaggery any more, he tries to defend himself. Of course he had to mention all the hoes he has nailed. Mayer hopped on his Twitter to try and convince everyone he isn’t a straight up douche.

Per John Mayer’s Twitter:

“I love how some dudes hate me for dating their fantasy girl, as if they were going to if I hadn’t. Let’s hammer this out today. Long before ‘douches’ and ‘famewhores’ there were these people called ‘showbiz types.’ Showbiz types’ are people who grew up talking to themselves alone in a room for hours until they found some sort of outlet. Once they found that outlet, everything fell into place, except for the fact that they still never worked out why they still talk so much. So you see, though filled with deep emotional voids that can never be filled, Showbiz Types are an important part of our Nation’s tapestry. I’m a Showbiz Type. (cue penny whistle and marching drums) But I am not a douche!! (of 1,090,466, seventeen stand and applaud wildly). That was interesting…I’m off to work. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

He might as well have proclaimed himself Lord of the Douche and composed the anthem to which all of his minions must march to while he looks in the mirror and tells himself he is a pretty rock star and everyone loves him.

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