Rob Pattinson Faked His Abs for ‘New Moon’

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I fear for my life for speaking ill of Pattinson. I believe it is being added to the commandments…”Thou shalt not speaketh ill of the Sparklepants.”

After the photos of Robert Pattinson shirtless for his role in “New Moon” surfaced, the hearts of tweens everywhere went squee! I hate to rain on other people’s parade, but it is being stated that Pattinson’s toned ab muscles were fake.

Via MTV UK:

“Rob had a team of makeup artists working on his stomach to make it appear as if he had a six pack” one claimed. Rob is definitely not that in shape,’ says the source. ‘He hates the gym and will never really be a muscle man! They used all the tricks – including liquid body paint, shading, and airbrushing to make his torso look toned and whenever they stopped filming, Rob would duck back insider to get touched up by the makeup team.”

I am hoping that this is a filthy and jealous lie told by some extra out to dethrone Sparklepants.

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Images Via: MTV

Rihanna Expected to Take Stand Against Chris Brown Today

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Today is a big day in the whole Rihanna vs. Chris Brown case. Rihanna is due to take the stand in court against the singer, more than four months after the horrific night where Brown was accused of assaulting her. The preliminary hearing will determine if there is enough evidence against him to stand trial. While both parties are required to appear in court today, Rhianna could very well refuse to take the stand due to the nature of the case. If she does take the stand, Rihanna is expected to describe what was written in the detective’s report from the night of the alleged attack. She could be on the stand for more than two hours. It will be her first time publicly talking about what happened the night her boyfriend allegedly attacked her. Her lawyer, Donald Etra, said Rihanna cleared her schedule so she could be in court if prosecutors call her as a witness. Her testimony could very well make or break the case.

One big question looms over Rihannas head: Will Browns attorney Mark Geragos cross examine her if she does indeed testify? If the case goes to trial, Geragos has said that he will make a big point that Rihanna was the initial aggressor in the situation, repeatedly hitting Brown before he began hitting on her. Rihanna said Brown had beaten her before and the violence was escalating. Also important to the case is the pictures taken of Rhianna after the attack. Those photos will almost certainly be introduced into evidence during todays hearing. Geragos has said he hoped to avoid the spectacle of public testimony, but plea-deal talks failed and California’s Supreme Court last week rejected his request to delay the hearing to decide if the case should go to trial.

Los Angeles Criminal Court Judge Patricia Schnegg decided against allowing cameras into the courtroom during Rihanna’s testimony, so there will be no tv or livestream coverage of todays events. Brown had better hope that Rihanna is having a good day, because his freedom ultimately lies in her hands.

Lady Gaga’s Flame Throwing Breasts – Video, Photos

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This is a typical Friday night festivity at my casa, but Lady Gaga to her pyrotechnical boobs to Much Music Video Awards in Toronto.

[Lady Gaga - MMVAs Performance - Video]

The crowd enjoyed her performances of “Love Game” and “Poker Face.” Gaga won an accolade for the best international video for “Poker Face.”

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Images Via: Splash

Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland Movie Photos

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If you are like me you are creeped out just a little by Tim Burton. He is an odd bird, but seems like someone who is deliciously off the deep end. I have never been able to sit through the entire movie of the original “Alice in Wonderland” and the thought of Johnny Depp being a part of it intrigued me for very impure reasons. However, upon looking at these photos from Tim Burton’s version of “Alice in Wonderland,” I am thinking I will have nightmares instead.

The rest of the cast includes:

Anne Hathaway … The White Queen

Helena Bonham Carter … The Red Queen

Michael Sheen … The White Rabbit

Alan Rickman … The Caterpillar

Christopher Lee … The Jabberwocky (My former mother-in-law is the original but was too busy getting her hooves buffed)

Stephen Fry … The Cheshire Cat

Crispin Glover … The Knave of Hearts

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Images Via: USA Today

Pregnant Gisele Bundchen Takes Baby Kayaking, Tom Brady Falls Out of Boat

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Remember when we told you Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady were expecting a baby? Yea, it was like month ago. You can read about by clicking hereif you still care.

Though Brady denied that he and his supermodel wife were with child, turns out the gossipers of the world were right once again. (Cut to me patting myself on the back).

Via People:

“Gisele Bündchen is expecting and ‘ecstatic,’ She is due early next year.”

Zzzzzzzzzz….At least she will stop trying to steal Brady’s son with actress Bridget Moynahan.

If you have been reading the news today, you also know that Tom Brady was recently fished out of the Charles River in Massachusetts by an elementary school teacher. It seems Tom fell from a kayak he and Gisele were using to race a friend.

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Via WHDH TV:

“When they got near the star couple, they realized Tom was not in his kayak. He was in the water. Leeds helped pull Tom into the motor boat she was in.”

One must wonder if this is just the usual “Brady Baby Behavior?” Brady does have a track record for running out on (or swimming away from) the women he knocks-up.

Quotable via D-Listed:

“You know Tom is going to claim he has amnesia and doesn’t remember marrying Gis or making a babeh with her. He’s going to pull some ‘Who Huh Wha’ sh**!”

Lindsay Lohan’s Sleepover with Ryan Seacrest – Photos

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Lohan, who was wearing her best Charlotte Russe ho gear, spent the night with flamboyant hobbit, Ryan Seacrest.

After hitting the Chateau Marmont and spending 2 hours dining Lindsay Lohan and Seacrest went clubbing at H-Wood. Deciding to call it an early night jut after midnight, which is early for Lohan, they left together and went to Lindsay’s house. While she was trying to hide from the paparazzi, Seacrest proudly sat next to her in the back of the car and smiled.

When they got to Lohan’s house they were apparently having a loud sexy party because the neighbors called the cops at 3:30 am. The cops cited a noise violation and told them to turn the music down. After the police left Casa de Cazy, Lindsay and Ryan went back to his place to finish their party of two. Lohan ended up spending the night at Seacrest’s place.

Ew. I just picture any kind of relations between these two to be very greasy.

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Image Via: Wenn, X17

Robert Pattionson Hit by Taxi in NYC

Sparklepants down!

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OMG! Twihards – Look what you’ve gone and done!!! Robert Pattinson was hit by a taxi cab on Thursday in NYC while running away from hysterical crazed fans after shooting scenes for his upcoming movie “Remember Me.” But don’t start holding candlelight vigils just yet — Sparklepants was not hurt. I repeat: SPARKLEPANTS WAS NOT HURT!! You may now resume breathing…

Reports say Robert was somewhere near the famous Strand Bookstore on Broadway and 12th Street when a crowd of screaming teenage girls came running after him. His 5 bodyguards tried to fend them off, but apparently was no match for the fans. It was pouring rain as his security guards tried to rush him safely back to his trailer. As they tried rushing him across the street, he was grazed in the hip by an oncoming taxi. The driver slammed on the brakes and Robert stood there for a moment looking a bit stunned. The bodyguard next to him checked him to make sure he was alright before turning to yell at the fans.

Per Radar Online:

“You see what you did, you almost killed him!”

A spokesman for Pattinson let the fans know yesterday afternoon that he is indeed okay. Now I’m about to go all mom-like on you obsessive fans and give you a lecture: Shame on you! If you crazy psycho fans don’t respect Rob, you could wind up pushing him over the edge. He may be forced to stop all acting and go into hiding, which we all know would be a terrible waste! It’s unbelievable that people are can be so disrespectful. End the madness already – you’ve almost ended up killing him once!

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Images Via: Wenn

The Dame’s Link Worthy

Cookies Make Your Boobs Bigger?!? – College Candy

Gwen Stefani on Elle Magazine – Popbytes

Tiffani Thiessen Stops Saved by the Bell Reunion – Ten Gossip

Movies to See This Weekend – Bumpshack

Marissa Jaret Winokur Dresses Her Curves – Radar Style

Bronx Hit’s the Zoo with Papa Pete and Momma Ashlee SimpsonKnocked Up Celebs

Maria Sharapova Blinking Phone Dress Model – Right Celebrity Fashion

Bret Michaels is Still Whining About Tony’s Mishap – Earsucker

‘Red Dawn’ Reboot Casts Josh PeckGossip Teen

Kate Gosselin Talks About Spanking Her Kids – Backseat Cuddler

Andy Murray Moving During Wimbledon – Allie is Wired

Sacha Baron Cohen Up to Bull Antics – Celebitchy

Leighton Meester Sex Tape Sold – Photos

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Gasp! Celebrities are kinky in the sack and make sex tapes. I am not about to judge how people get their sexy on, but if you don’t want it aired out to the rest of the world…then don’t record it.

A tape of Leighton Meester making sweet, sweet foot lovin’ to her then boyfriend has been sold to Celeb Hotline. The site shows several compromising photos of the tape and promises scandalous scenes from “Gossip Girls” star, including indulging in a foot fetish.

I bet Blair…er…Leighton is taping her fingers manically together and giggling. Sex tapes are the best way to create interest and stir press. Look at Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian. Neither of those two will go away and how did they get notoriety? Hump tapes. Besides, I am betting Meester is scrappy. She was born in jail which and jail babies are street sexy and if she has any smarts she will come out saying, “Yeah, I have talented feet and like sex. What of it?”

Slightly NSFW Photo of Leighton Meester’s Sex Tape After the Cut. Click “Read More…”

Images Via: Celeb Hotline, Wenn

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