Hollywood Dame is now featuring stories, poems, or essays from the talented readers. Have something you want to share? Email your submission to The Dame at HWDame@gmail.com and your work could be posted in the Writers Showcase. To start things off C.J. Bingham has graciously decided to share her first manuscript. Enjoy!
Chapter 2
“Who Ordered the Pig”
“Get your finger out to of your nose Paris.”
“I gotta boogie.”
“Get your finger out of your nose.”
“No. Boogie.”
“Your nose will bite off your fingers if you stick it up there again.”
Not even five minutes into my sister’s wedding ceremony the flower girl has her finger up in snot’s canyon and the entire congregation of people are watching as I try and subtly swat the probing digits of my niece out her nose. At first it was blatant digging. Then, as I smiled and slowly pulled her finger out of her nose in the hopes the congregation wouldn’t notice, it grew into a blatant game.
I think I slightly mortified her, but she has finally refrained from mining green gold. I love my niece. However, in all honesty, I really hate children. My future entails sitting on my front porch in a rocker with my cat and making sure those little brats stay out of my garden. Knowing my mentality, instead of yelling, “You darn whippersnappers! Stay out of my petunias!” It will be more like, “Jesus, shitting Christ you mongrels! Go near my flowers again and you will feel the wrath my garden hose. Oh, and Santa isn’t real and neither is the Easter Bunny.”
Yes, I will be crotchety and I will still swear like a sailor until the day I die. However, in my defense I am fair. I will give those pesky children several warnings before I unveil the truth of Santa just to be cruel. My niece is well aware that my fuse is short and has become accustomed to taking everything as a mere joke.
To Finish Reading “Home is Where the Crazy Is” Chapter 2, Cick “Read More…”





























