Mark-Paul Gosselaar as Zach Morris on Jimmy Fallon – Video

This teaches me a huge lesson to stop playing drunken Cake Mania 3 and start watching Jimmy Fallon. Mark-Paul Gosselaar dressed up as my very first crush, Zach Mothalovin’ Morris. The skit was Gosselaar’s idea and I thought it was a stroke of corny, but funny brilliance. This was part of his deal to come on the show and do a reunion.

Via Starpulse:

“I’ve never been opposed to the reunion but it’s got to be, sort of, under our terms. If someone puts a gun to your head and says, “You know, you should do this reunion,” like Fallon kind of has done — and I love Jimmy by the way, I think he’s awesome — he kind of put us under the gun in a way. I wanted it to be a win-win situation for everybody. I said, as we were driving, to my wife, “Hey Lisa, what do you think if I went on as Zack Morris and that was reality? That Zack is alive, Zack is me and I just play the character Mark-Paul Gosselaar.”

“There were three things that I asked for. Number one: That I look into the camera and I do the time out. The phone was a big thing that I wanted to use as well. And [playing] “Friends Forever” with The Roots. And that was it, that’s all we came up with, then I called Jimmy Fallon. I said, “Hey, Fallon, this is what I want to do.” and he goes, “Well, wait, at the end you’re going to say you’re Mark-Paul?” I said, “No, I’m going to go on, never break character and that’s going to be the reality.” He says, “I don’t know if the producers are going to be into that, but I’ll get you in touch with my writer.”

Jimmy has been trying to get a “Saved by the Bell” reunion going since the start of his turn at “Late Night.” So far Lisa Turtle (Lark Voorhies), Mr.Belding (Dennis Haskins), Albert Clifford ‘A.C.’ Slater (Mario Lopez), Jessie Spano (Elizabeth Berkley) and Zach Morris (Mark Paul Gosselaar) are all up for the reunion. Kelly Kaposi (Tiffany Amber Thiessen) and Screech (Dustin Diamond) are holding out. Which is odd, because last I heard Screech was making sex tapes and selling t-shirts to pay his bills.

Is it only slightly odd to me that Mark has aged a day and looked exactly the same? Saved by the Bell is back, New Kids on the Block are touring again and I my friend used the term “sike” the other day. It’s like I am 12 again and no longer bitter about my thighs.

Kendra Wilkinson is Pregnant

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Oh this worries me. Kendra Wilkinson and her fiancé Hank Baskett are going to have a baby. Kendra will be responsible for tiny human being. This was a woman who was outwitted by the U.S. postal services after not knowing she needed to put stamps on letters. Regardless, in clearly rep written statement, Kendra announced that she is pregnant.

Per E!:

“Hank and I are thrilled to announce that we are expecting our first child together,” she just told me. “We are touched by the outpouring of support by our family, friends and fans.”

Baskett and Wilkinson are going to be exchanging vows before Kendra gives birth. In fact the two are due marry on June 27th at the Playboy mansion. Ex “boyfriend,” Hugh Hefner, is rumored to be walking her down the aisle to the tune of “Dirrty” by Christina Aguilera. Ok..ok..ok I am joking. Her brother will actually be walking her down the aisle.

Quotables:

The Superficial – “Let’s put this news into more relevant forms based on gender. Guys: Breasts get big. Soon.”

Celebitchy – “Congratulations to Kendra and Hank and I’m sure there are many trips to the Olive Garden planned in their immediate future.”

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Images Via: Wenn

Jessica Alba Defaces Oklahoma City, Apologizes

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I thought Jessica Alba’s performance in “The Love Guru” was bad enough, but it appears the actress has outdone herself in the lack of intelligence category.

It seems the actress who is currently in Oklahoma City, OK filming a movie, decided to take a Hayden Panettiere-like stand on behalf of aquatic life. In this case, she wants to save the lovable and cuddly great white sharks.

Alba photographed herself all around the city defacing multiple pieces of property by gluing huge photos of Jaws to them. Naturally, she is now being brought-up on charges.

Via TMZ:

“Oklahoma City cops tell us the city’s Director of Parks and Recreation — Wendell Whisenhunt — filed a police report after photos surfaced of Alba allegedly defacing electrical boxes, a bridge and a United Way billboard. Alba was on a mission, gluing posters that are part of a campaign to save the great whites.”

Perhaps she sniffed a little too much of the glue as she was plastering the posters around town.

Alba released the following apology this morning. Or rather, her “people”did:

“I got involved in something I should have had no part of. I realize that I should have used better judgment and I regret not thinking things through before I made a spontaneous and ill-advised decision to let myself get involved with the people behind this campaign. I sincerely apologize to the citizens of Oklahoma City and to the United Way for my involvement in this incident.”

That’s right. She defaced a United Way billboard with a poster of a man-eating shark.

Please use the comment section to complete this sentence: “Jessica Alba is as dumb as _____________.”

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Images Via: The Lost Ogle

Writers Showcase: “Home is Where the Crazy Is”

Hollywood Dame is now featuring stories, poems, or essays from the talented readers. Have something you want to share? Email your submission to The Dame at HWDame@gmail.com and your work could be posted in the Writers Showcase. To start things off C.J. Bingham has graciously decided to share her first manuscript. Enjoy!

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Chapter 1

“You Poor Pink Bastard!”

If Prince were here he would turn his nose up at this excuse for a dress. There I was. Standing in one of the most hideous cotton candy pink gowns known to mankind. If Mr.Bubble had gotten married, this monstrosity would be exactly what his bride would have floated down the aisle in. I was covered in a hellacious combination of tulle and organza. The look was completed with a giant bow that started at my tailbone and ran all the way down my ass. Little did I know how overdressed I would be for my sister’s wedding. As I picked at the bow that I have declared war on, I remember how I got this damn creation.

While shopping for her wedding attire the goal was originally peach. Everything was going to be peach. We searched high and low for bridesmaid dress that clearly did not exist. (For good reason.)The day entailed scouring miles of department stores, prom offerings and even a stop at the local Dress Barn to find that they are big fat liars. (A total of 4 revamped halter dresses does not a “dress barn” make.)

The thing one should know about my family is that it is all about a bargain. We are like deal seeking missals. My mother, sister and aunts live to find discounted socks, toasters, electronics and anything that we might one day need. I, however, am “snotty” and draw the line at purchasing used swimsuits at the Good Will. Ahhh, the Goodwill. It is like my sister’s mother ship. So shopping at a legitimate bridal store is the last option. I really do mean the last option.

“Danielle! Please, for the love of my sanity lets just go look at Julia’s Bridal Shoppe. I will eat my own shoe if we don’t find something.” I said whining and rubbing my sore feet.

She screwed up her face deep in thought as she messed with the radio while simultaneously coming to a screeching halt at a red light. “Let’s go take a peek at the Good Will first.”

I rolled my eyes and started digging through my purse for hand sanitizer. The very thought of pawing through old shoes and foraging my way through piles of “No Fat Chicks” t-shirts makes me feel dirty. At the success of finding a wet nap I shove it in my pocket. A battalion of battle droids and wild ponies wouldn’t force me into taking my purse into that store. I had spent hours pacing back and forth waiting to win my knock off Fendi on eBay.

To Finish Reading “Home is Where the Crazy Is” Chapter 1 – Cick “Read More…”

[Read more...]

Twittering Your Love: Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson Back Together-Miley Cyrus Dumps Justin Gaston

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Twitter. It’s pretty much strong>Facebook for people with ADD. You can change your mind every two seconds. You can let people know how you’re doing, announce that you’ve had a baby (like Lance Armstrong did here), you can let the world know that you and your lesbian lover who placed a restraining order on you are back together (maybe…and with one of those annoying semi-colon happy faces), and you inform the world that you are your jailbait girlfriend have called it quits…because distance is like, so hard and stuff.

Lindsay Lohan Twittered Monday that she was leaving London with her favorite person and that she had great news to share…maybe. Shortly thereafter, Lohan was snapped by the paparazzi that she called, floundering around Heathrow airport with former flame Samantha Ronson.

Via People:

“They haven’t started fighting yet, but they are back together as far as Lindsay is concerned. Lindsay has been doing so much better and has been giving Sam her space. She is really dedicated to making it work.”

So much better than snorting blow out of a belly-button while flashing the hidden camera taping you your lady-bits? I guess violating a restraining order is slightly better than that.

Not to be outdone in Twitterverse, everyone’s favorite DUI waiting to happen, Miley Cyrus used her Twitter to announce her sorrow at having to leave 20 year-old boyfriend Justin Gaston behind in LA as she travels to Georgia to film the movie “The Last Song”. Gaston, like a good man in need of a meal ticket, simultaneously Twittered his great sadness at Cyrus’ departure.

However, Twitter is fickle, kittens. It seems that Miley Twittered just this past Saturday that she and former boyfriend Nick Jonas were hanging out together.

Via E!

“I’m in a dark theater ‘writing’ a song with nick j who is rockin a faded eggplant shirt! :)

Again with the colon happy face. Knock it off kids. I doubt Gaston was colon-face happy to read that Nick’s shirt was “rockin”. Also, since when does Miley write songs? As for Sam and Lindsay…I’d watching out for boiling bunnies on the stove circa “Fatal Attraction.” Apparently Twitter also makes you delusional. Speaking of which, are you following Hollywood Dame?

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Images Via: Bauer Griffin

Emma Watson Confirms Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are Dating – UPDATED

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Emma Watson is hot on the press today. She is starring in the latest Burberry campaign (see below or click here to view the photos) and now she is outing rumored couple Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.

They have been dancing around dating issue since the “Twilight” mania began. Robert was not shy about revealing his desire for his co-star stating that he had a crush on her and often dreamt of Stewart. However, Kristen was adamant that she was faithful to long time boyfriend Michael Angarano and remained at his side.

Via OK:

Emma, who starred with Pattinson in “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire,” still remains friends with him and often talk. That is when he not on the phone with Kristen according to Watson.

“Oh god! He’s absolutely hot! He’s driving me crazy…But we’re just good friends and can be on the phone for hours, because I know that there’s something going on between him and Kristen Stewart.”

The admission comes after ‘Pattinson Dating Stewart’ rumors reheated after the two were seen spending the evening together and leaving from a hotel in the next more at each other’s side. (Click here to read that story.)

I guess Emma failed to read the “keep it on the down low” memo.

UPDATE: It appears someone was a liar, liar crotch on fire. A rep for Watson has just blasted this interview calling it all crap.

“As you may be aware a Russian Magazine entitled I Love You has run a fictitious article about Emma Watson. This interview never took place with this magazine nor any other magazine and these quotes have been entirely made up. There is no truth in any of the comment and it is highly unprofessional of any publication to have done this. We are in the process of dealing with the magazine and this article, but please ask you not to reprint it in part or in full as it is pure fabrication from start to finish.”

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Emma Watson Represents Burberry – Photos

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Awww…little Emma Watson isn’t so little anymore. She is turning into a mini mogul and dominating the designer world. Emma recently scored a campaign with Burberry and has already been attached to Chanel. No longer just the girl from “Harry Potter,” She is fast becoming a style icon.

Each of the Harry Potter trio are taking strides to shed their child-like images and branch into the adult world. Daniel Radcliffe has been making headway using bare flesh to showcase his talents in Broadway. Rupert Grint, Ron Weasly, is making strides in the acting world with his new sex, drugs and violence packed film, “Cherry Bomb.”

Lets just hope she keeps her nose clean. Literally.

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Images Via: Burberry/Testino

Adam Lambert Glam and Gay on Rolling Stone Cover

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After months of speculation, rumors and released photographs, there is finally an official confirmation: Adam Lambert is gay. The “American Idol” runner-up is coming out to “Rolling Stone” and saying that he is proud of it. Lambert says that his admission probably won’t come off as shocking to the many who have followed his rise to fame.

Per Rolling Stone:

“I don’t think it should be a surprise for anyone to hear that I’m gay,” Lambert says in the new issue of Rolling Stone, hitting newsstands this week. “I’m proud of my sexuality,” Lambert adds. “I embrace it. It’s just another part of me. I loved it this season when girls went crazy for me. As far as I’m concerned, it’s all hot. Just because I’m not sticking it in there doesn’t mean that I don’t find it beautiful,” he graphically says.

Lambert says that he was tempted immediately after the Idol finale to discuss his sexuality but he thought waiting to come out to the magazine would be much cooler, saying he didn’t want the “Clay Aiken thing” and the “celebrity-magazine bull” and wanted to be able to explain himself in context. As for the small scandal over photos of Lambert in drag that surfaced on the Internet back in March, he claims he forgot to remove photos from his profile on a social networking site for the “Burning Man Festival” in Nevada. Lambert says he was worried that people would think the drag ensemble was typical of him, admitting that he’s only dressed in drag three or four times and doesn’t “tuck and wear breasts.” Stereotypes about gays do annoy Lambert though.

“Clay Aiken’s gay, and I’m gay, and we couldn’t be more different. The only thing that is the same about everyone in the gay community is that we’re gay. … Why can’t we talk about a human community?”

Besides his sexuality, he goes on to share other details with the magazine. When he was 21, he was in a European tour of “Hair” for six months. That was when he decided to dye his hair black. In Germany, he admits to experimenting with drugs, smoking pot and trying ecstasy. But he does have limits, and cocaine is a big no-no saying that it is a reflection of the lack of self-esteem and control people have over themselves and their lives. Lambert even goes on to share his feelings toward sharing a living space with Idol winner Kris Allen.

“I was like, ‘Oh, s–t, they put me with the cute guy.’ Distracting!” he says when the show moved them in together. “He’s the one guy that I found attractive in the whole group on the show: nice, nonchalant, pretty and totally my type – except that he has a wife. I mean, he’s open-minded and liberal, but he’s definitely 100 percent straight.”

Hey… who wasn’t crushing on Kris??? I sure was!!

Megan Fox Hooked Up with Robert Pattinson

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Or so she claims. The grease monster known as Megan Fox was running her mouth about nailing Robert Pattinson shortly after she and Brian Austin Green broke off their engagement. Someone who worked with Fox on “Jennifer’s Body” told E! that she was bragging about a one night stand that she had with the “Twilight” heartthrob.

“Megan was totally into [Rob] and thought he was really cute,” snitches our high-up, on-the-set sleuth. “But nothing ever went further than one night they were together. He totally blew her off.”

After he ditched her, Megan was hurt and told Elle magazine that she’d never slum it with Pattinson because he was “too pretty and young” for her taste. This could be true despite my distaste for narcissistic princess. They were seen together at Palihouse hotel bar two consecutive nights in Hollywood back in early March. This was just after Brian and Fox’s split in February.

I am guessing it went something like the ho at the 1 minute marker trying to get her some Sparkle.

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Images Via: INF Daily

Heather Graham Used Witchcraft to Get Obama Elected

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Here is something to put the WTF? in your day. Heather Graham is taking credit for Barack Obama’s presidential election win. Yup, gonna need some more tea and strumpets chased with acid to understand the method behind this madness.

According to the ever so entertaining National Enquirer, Heather claimed that she and a couple friends get together to cast spells and burn stuff.

“I have this group of friends and we get together and we call ourselves The Goddesses and we wish for things and then a lot of amazing things have happened to all of us,” Heather admitted.

“We burn things — honoring the elements of earth, wind, air and fire. You do spells. We did this thing where we were calling on the wind and the air and this whole storm started on my roof. It was amazing and … empowering.”

So let me get this straight….she and her friends probably watch some “Grey’s Anatomy” on Thursday night, follow it with setting some stuff on fire and then head up to the roof and dance around trying to make it storm?

“My friends really wanted Obama to be elected so we all did a spell and then he got elected,” she divined. “It worked out good.”

I bet Obama is super thankful that Heather was setting fire to trees while wearing nothing but flag themed panties and dancing around with sparklers in her hair in the name of Barack.

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Images Via: Wenn