Johnny Depp Sexier Than Robert Pattinson?

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Esquire Magazine has released their ‘Sexiest Stars’ of all time and topping the list for the males this year is not who you think.

It seems that the folks over at Empire have a thing for pirates and not vampires like the rest of the lust-filled world. Johnny Depp took the top spot leaving poor Robert Pattinson in the sloppy seconds position.

Calm down Twi-Hards!!! I know you’re launching your boycott of Esquire as we speak, but it’s OK. You’ll get your Sparklepants fill in four short weeks.

Via The Examiner:

“Johnny Depp was paired with Megan Fox at the top of Empire magazine’s ‘Sexiest’ poll, Fox beating out Jolie for the female category and Depp taking over Pattinson for #1 sexiest male.
The Pirates Of The Caribbean star was no match for sexy R.Patz, who settled in at second place over Robert Downey, Jr.

Honestly? Megan Fox over Angelina Jolie? Over Angela Lansbury for that matter? She’s made like three compeltely terrible movies. And Robert Downy Jr. over Brad Pitt? Of all time?!? Am I the only person who remembers what Iron Man looked like in the 1980′s?

Note by The Dame: Yes Twihards. I know the photo of Robert shirtless is a photoshopped creation, but I figured I would post it for funsies.

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Images Via: WENN

Hollywood Dame’s PopEater Favs

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Here is what is popping over at PopEater:

Is Miley Cyrus Too Young for ‘Sex’?

John Mayer Defends Getting ‘Stoned’

Nicole Kidman Blames Hollywood for Violence Against Women

Mario Lopez Gets Wet, Topless for Charity

Sienna Miller: I Didn’t Have Sex with Heath Ledger!

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My new boo’s over at New York Times mistakenly padded Sienna’s boyfriend background. Heath Ledger and Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs were added to the notches in her bedpost in an article titled “What She Really Wants to do is Act.” The “Casanova” starlet was scathing mad after the paper ran with the idea she bedded her co-star. Since then a correction has been ran to appease the offended bed hopper.

Correction: October 17, 2009
“An article on Page 4 this weekend about Sienna Miller misstates the nature of the relationships that she had with Heath Ledger and Sean Combs. She was friends with both of them; she did not have romantic flings with either of them.”

I would like to also note the article drops a few other names like Jude Law, Daniel Craig, James Franco and MARRIED Balthazar Getty on her list of sexual conquests that went un-corrected. She had no problem admitting she made sexy times with a married man, but felt the paper should site correction for an assumption she slept with a friend. WTF??? Sienna should have just titled the article “I Didn’t Diddle My BFF, But I Have Boinked Every Man in the Tri-State Area.”

What’s that old saying? Ho needs to learn to pick her battles? Whatever it is, she needs to reread her “Ways of the Slut” manual. It’s standard issue once you complete Home Wrecking 101.

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Images Via: WENN

Jessica Simpson Hooks Up with Gerard Butler

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Jessica Simpson is said to be the latest to ride Gerard Butler’s ho-go-round. Jennifer Aniston is making slanty eyes at John Mayer and itching to grab her shank and go hunting for that “D-list weave peddler who’s after her Butler.”

Jessica and Gerard were seen out and about (feeling very Canadian this morning) in New York. They were said to be making come hump me eyes at each other as they dined at Soho House. Surrounded by a slew of frenemies who later blabbed to Page Six, they even left together after eating.

“They were at a table with friends, but Jessica and Gerard, who were sat next to each other, seemed to only be interested in each other and chatted for hours. They were laughing and flirting and eventually left together.”

We all know that Gerry is just a man slag with a rep to uphold and Simpson is his Thang Of the Day. She is probably texting him nonstop “I LUVS YOU! DO U LUVS ME??? PLS LUVS ME!” Poor girl.

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Images Via: WENN

The Dame’s Link Worthy

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Kate Gosselin is Flooded With Questions For Her One Hour Special -College Candy

All-Madonna Episode Ahead on ‘Glee’? – Pop Eater

Chris Brown’s second single, ‘Crawl’ leaked (Audio) -Ear Sucker

Angelina Jolie in “Gucci” Movie – Right Fashions

Miley Cyrus Doesn’t Miss Twitter -Gossip Teen

Dad Celeb Quote: Matt Damon -Knocked Up Celebs

MOVE OVER GISELE … IT’S EVA & TONY’S TURN! – Popbytes

Caption Jon Hamm -Socialite Life

Lady Gaga Collaborates with Adam Lambert on New Song -Tonic Gossip

Vin Diesel Leaves The Next ‘xXx” Movie -Wooden Spears

Kanye West mini movie exorcism! -Celeb Pulp

Did Rosie O’Donnell & Kelli Carpenter Break Up? -Celebrity Smack

Kristen Stewart’s Fans Rally For An Oscar -Allie Is Wired

Kendra Wilkinson Shows Off Her Big Ol’ Baby Bump – Backseat Cuddler

Mia Michaels Shaved Head, Cancer Rumors (Photos) – Bumpshack

The incredible story of the cheating ESPN analyst and the stalking jilted girlfriend – Celebitchy

Joel Madden Denies Marriage to Nicole Richie

Aw good gravy!

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Despite thousands of reports that Joel Madden made an honest woman out of his baby-mama, Nicole Richie, the Good Charlotte front man has taken to his own personal blog to deny it.

Via GoodCharlotte.com:

“I keep getting emails from old friends and family asking about a wedding. NO we didn’t get married.”

The rumors of the two’s nuptials hit the internet this week after it was reported the two had applied for a marriage license just outside of Los Angeles.

Image Via: Hollywood Crap

UK’s Robert Pattinson School

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Yes, Twi-hards – the UK does have a school by the name of Robert Pattinson School, although it isn’t a school on obsessing over your favorite cold dead vampire, or how to make your hair stand up at the touch of your fingers like the “Twilight” stars. Instead, its a college specializing in Language, Science, and Mathematics. Opening in 1992, it became a self governing school with grant maintained status and became the first school in Lincolnshire to be appointed as a Specialist School for Languages in 2001. The school also received the Achievement Award for Examination Performance in 2003.

Online outlets are saying that this school used to be the #1 Google Search when you searched “Robert Pattinson” before the “Twilight” craze started. Oh what a difference a year makes! In all seriousness guys, it is a real school. That is their real name. It has nothing to do with our beloved Sparklepants and no, he does not promote it! Its just a mere coincidence of shared name! And no, Robert does not teach there! Sorry!

Guess Who!

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Guess Who just gave birth to a baby girl!

Click HERE to find out!

Britney Spears to Marry Jason Trawick

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If mama Spears has her way, her daughter is gearing toward another trip down the aisle! It’s far from being a secret that Britney Spears has had a rocky past in the romance department, but she just may have finally found the one… at least according to what her mother thinks. Its been said that papa Jamie Spears approves of boyfriend Jason Trawick, but now reports are saying that Lynne Spears is such a huge fan of him that she hopes the couple can make their love go the distance.

Per Us:

“Lynne said, ‘He’s the kind of man you would dream of your daughter marrying. The kids love him, and he’s stable,’” a friend tells Us Weekly.

Given Britneys last choice in husbands, I’m sure they approve of anybody who isn’t stuffing their cheetos-loving face with one hand while juggling a beer and chain smoking with the other. One thing that apparently impressed mama Spears was when Jason stood by her daughter during her crazy unstable times when she was involuntarily committed twice to a psychiatric hospital in 2008 and losing custody of her two sons the year before.

“Most everyone else abandoned her, but Jason refused to be completely cut out of Britney’s life,” says a source. “He’s very protective of her. She has been honest with Jason about what she’s been through in a way that I don’t think she’s been with other people, and he always preferred to not sugarcoat the harsh reality of what happened to her,” the source adds. “He tells her when she should take responsibility for her own actions.”

Sounds to me he’s more of a babysitter or a paid handler to her than husband material. But maybe thats what Britney needs to keep her sane. Great – if her mom knows whats best for Britney than the world is perfect as always for little Miss Spears, ya know – cause she did such a great job in raising her. *Thumbs up with awkward laugh*

Christian Bale Channels Tom Cruise for ‘American Psycho’

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Yesterday, we ran an article in which Bronson Pinchot revealed what it is really like working with Scientologist Tom Cruise (refresh your memory by clicking here).

In the ran, Pinchot revealed that Tom was viewed by many on the set as a “complete bore.” But the boringness of Tom Cruise doesn’t stop there, kittens.

In an interview with Black Book, Mary Harron, director of the thriller ‘American Psycho,’ revealed that actor Christan Bale channeled Tom Cruise’s emptiness to bring the character of Patrick Bateman to life.

Via Black Book:

“We talked about how Martian-like Patrick Bateman was, how he was looking at the world like somebody from another planet, watching what people did and trying to work out the right way to behave. And then one day he called me and he had been watching Tom Cruise on David Letterman, and he just had this very intense friendliness with nothing behind the eyes, and he was really taken with this energy.”

This is the same intense friendliness that later led to Cruise jumping on couches…with nothing behind his eyes. Perhaps this is because there is literally NOTHING behind his eyes except cued smiles and Scientology gobbely-goo.

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Images Via: wenn.com