Balki Bartokomous is talking smack y’all! I love waking up in the mornings and finding this in my mail box.

Bronson Pinchot played Barry alongside Tom Cruise in “Risky Business” and is spilling the details on how awful it was to work with Tom. It was his first film and he thought the star was such a “bore” that the movie would bomb.

“We didn’t know it was going to be a big hit. We thought Tom [Cruise] was the biggest bore on the face of the Earth. He was tense and made constant, constant unrelated homophobic comments, like, “You want some ice cream, in case there are no gay people there?” I mean, his lingo was larded with the most… There was no basis for it. It was like, “It’s a nice day, I’m glad there are no gay people standing here.” Very, very strange.”

Cruise wasn’t the only one Bronson squealed on. He constantly played a side not in films with several other well known actors.

Tom Hanks – “He is a wonderful and genuine and lovely and down-to-earth person. I don’t know how he does that.”

Eddie Murphy (Beverly Hills Cop) – “Eddie was going through his period at the time of doing movies that were not hits, and he was very low-spirited, low-energy. I said to him, “All anyone ever wants to know when they meet me is what you’re like.” And he said, “I bet they don’t ask that anymore.” And then when we did a scene, we were shooting, and he was so low-energy that John Landis sent him upstairs and said, “Just rest, Eddie, and I’ll do the scene with Bronson.” So whenever you see my face in the movie, I’m not really talking to Eddie, I’m talking to John Landis.”

Denzel Washington (Bruno) – “That was a low point, because Denzel Washington was behind the incredibly cowardly bullshit of “This is my character, not me.” He was really abusive to me and everybody on that movie, and his official explanation was that his character didn’t like me, but it was a dreadful experience.”

Bette Midler (First Wives Club) – Bette Midler was such a bitch to Hugh Wilson (director). While he was directing, she would be rolling her eyes, pantomiming with her favorite actors, and she made it very difficult. And he was at his wit’s end. He was actually a very nice man, but she was very unkind to him on that movie.

How I miss the good ol’ days tv in which John Tesh would cry silent tears on Entertainment Tonight while looking jealous as they did the dance of joy.