Charges Filed Against Balloon Boy Crazy Parents

Richard Henne, father of Balloon Boy and future Michael Lohan, could face up to 6 years in jail and up to $500,000 in jail for making me miss watching Thor at the gym to report on his helium adventure. (Click here for the story of the Balloon Boy Hoax).

Sheriff Jim Alderden of Fort Collins, CO announced today that the Heene Ballon Boy nuttery has been officially deemed a hoax by the police. Charges are going to be filed and include: conspiracy, calling in a fake emergency and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Alderden talked about how the Heene family are actors with a degree in tomfoolery and are super sorry they fell for the hoax.

He then used strategery after the Larry King interview (in which the tot happily told the world “it was for the show” click here to see that) to get them to admit the wasted everyone’s time in watching a flipping balloon for hours and chanting to the helium gods for his safe return. While he couldn’t outright confirm “batch is craaaaaazy” and lied, he did confirm the investigation is well under way and they are building evidence to file the charges ASAP.

“We were looking at Class 3 misdemeanor, which hardly seems serious enough given the circumstances. We are talking to the district attorney, federal officials to see if perhaps there aren’t additional federal charges that are appropriate in this circumstance.”

They need to add booty blocking to that list of charges and make it punishable by death due to the hotness level of my gym candy I missed out on.

Rainbow Brite and the Magical Eating Disorder

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WTF happened to Rainbow Brite? I adored her as a child and have been after my own pony circa Starlite (the most magical beast in the universe before Robert Pattinson’s unicorn patch surfaced) since I was 5. However, now she has an eating disorder and is a pair of sparkly heart shaped pasties away from walking a runway arm and arm with Lindsay Lohan.

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Hallmark has revamped Rainbow Brite to appeal to the new generation of future Dr. Drew patients. My inner child is rocking itself in a corner as this new ho posing a Brite goes on a ho stroll with her legion of sprites to visit the new hormone injected Strawberry Shortcake after her botched lipo incident. It’s only a matter of time before their is corner war between Rainbow’s pimpery and the Bratz dolls.

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Images Via: Hallmark

Leonardo DiCaprio Dating Whitney Port

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Could movie star Leonardo DiCaprio be taking time off from romancing models and really be dating someone who is nothing more than a reality show star? Star Magazine seems to believe so, claiming DiCaprio has been secretly dating Whitney Port for weeks. Really Leonardo? Thats the best you could come up with?

Per Hollyscoop:

“They met at an NYC party and he flirted with her like crazy, then asked for her phone number,” says a friend of Whitney’s. “She didn’t think it was a big deal because she heard he does that with a lot of girls.” The friend goes on to say, “When Leo started calling her, she thought he was just being friendly, but he called and called. He was very sweet to her. He told her how beautiful she is, how much he wanted to go out with her….He’s treating her very well, and of course it’s exciting that he’s such a huge star. She’s really clicked with him, but she’s taking it very slowly. She doesn’t want to be just another notch on Leo’s bedpost.”

Uh huh… sure… whatever. I tend to doubt this story because if Leonardo comes a-lookin, then you jump on him faster than Lindsay LOL-han does on a pile of coke. If it were true then the so called notch or not, you run with it honey!

‘The Vampire Diaires’ Ian Somerhalder To Star In ‘Cradlewood’

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Ian Somerhalder, currently starring as the dark & mysterious Damon Salvatore in “The Vampire Diaries,” hot enough to give Robert Pattinson a run for hottest vampire, has signed on to star in “Cradlewood,” a romantic gothic fairy tale set in Boston. Somerhalder will play the son of an old Boston blue-blood family, the heir to a fortune, who’s dating an Australian girl. A family legend of his suggests that the family fortunes are tied up with a demon, and that a curse means that every time a boy is born into the family, his father dies. When he begins to experience strange things at the same time he starts suspecting his girlfriend is pregnant, he begins to worry that it’s not just an old wives’ tale.

“Cradlewood” is based on original story by Harry Weinmann. Emma Lung will play Somerhalders’ girlfriend in the movie. The script was written by Stephen Sewell and John Paul Chapple, and will be produced by Michel Shane and David Redman.

Per Hollywood Reporter:

“We see this is as almost like an American-style ‘Pan’s Labyrinth‘ in look and feel,” Shane said. “It’s a perfect segue for the kids who have outgrown ‘Twilight‘ but want something romantic and scary. Our monster will be quite terrifying; she is sexually attractive and monstrous at the same time.”

“Cradlewood” is scheduled to start shooting in Melbourne, Australia in April, during Somerhalders’ hiatus from “The Vampire Diaries.” It’s an interesting plot, although I’m struggling a little to see were the “romance” is at this point. Oh well, do we really care? I mean, its Ian-freakin’-Somerhalder! His lines could consist of nothing more than reading the nutritional facts off the side of a Planters Peanuts jar and I’d pay the price of admission, repeatedly, to see his sexiness sizzle on screen!

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Images Via: WENN

New Music Friday – Adele

Adele Laurie Blue Adkins, known professionally as just Adele, is an English singer who describes her musical style as “heartbroken soul.” She began singing at the age of 4 when she became obsessed with voices, an obsession that she says is still ongoing. Some of her influences includes Etta James and Ella Fitzgerald, who she says she stumbled upon on accident while a teenager looking through cds in a local record store.

Adele wrote her first record, “Hometown Glory” when she was only 16 years old. During her teenage years she recorded a demo and gave it to her friend who eventually put it on MySpace where it became very successful. Adele then got a record deal through MySpace, but at first didn’t believe it was real because the only record company she knew was Virgin Records. In 2007, Adele was awarded with the first ever Brit Awards Critics’ Choice Award. She then later signed to independent music label XL Recordings, which in January 2008 released her second single “Chasing Pavements.” The singer has said that the song was written after a night on the town with her ex-boyfriend, who she realized wasn’t worth pursuing anymore.

At the Grammy nomination concert last December, the Jonas Brothers told MTV News that they were big fans of her music. Adele, who performed at the Grammys with country act Sugarland, was up for four awards and won the Best Female Pop Vocal Performance award in addition to being named the Best New Artist. Her album was certified as Gold in February 2009 by the Recording Industry Association of America selling over 230,000 copies in the United States during the first quarter of 2009, ranking it fourth among international artists. Her first single, “Hometown Glory” has been re-released as her fourth, and latest, single. It has been widely featured on United Kingdom and United States television shows including “Grey’s Anatomy,” “So You Think You Can Dance,” and “One Tree Hill.” Adele wrote the song in 10 minutes after her mother tried to persuade her to leave her home town of West Norwood in London for college. You can watch the video for the song above.

Guess Who!

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Guess who went blond in an attempt to not only change her look, but her sound for her new album?

Click Here to Find Out!

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden Married

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Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are the James Bond of getting secretly married. They reportedly wed on Wednesday in a super stealth ceremony.

One source says that Nicole and Joel, real name Joel Ryan Combs, obtained a marriage license
sometime last week and married in a top secret ceremony on Wednesday.

One source says that Nicole and Joel, real name Joel Ryan Combs, obtained a marriage license sometime last week and married in a top secret ceremony on Wednesday.
So far reps are running around too busy to answer any questions as to their marriage status. My guess is no. While Nicole has more parenting skills than Balloon Boy’s and the Gosselins combined, I think she’d have media lined up for an such an event.

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Images Via: WENN

Robert Pattinson To Quit Acting

EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

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That, my friends, is the creepy cry of the Twi-Hards upon learning that their beloved Robert Pattinson is thinking of hanging up his acting fangs.

In a recent interview with Seventeen Magazine, the current hot commodity and my former love slave (I had to let him out of the basement to shoot ‘Eclipse’, ok?) stated that he isn’t sure how long his acting career will last.

Via MTV UK:

“I don’t even know if I want to be an actor that long. I don’t even know how to be someone else… if I start doing lame work, I’m not going to stick around and do it!”

Sparklepants, I think this means you should have stopped with ‘The Haunted Airman’. Yea, Twi-Hards, I said it.

He then went on to compare himself to rapper Eminem.

“When the first film came out I felt like a complete tosser, It looked like I was trying to be cool or something, like Eminem. You know, to be in a movie and then do a song for the soundtrack. But I didn’t look cool, I just looked ridiculous.”

I don’t know about that Sparks…you have way better hair than Em.

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Images Via: Us Weekly, JJB

Beard and Lord of the Douche at it Again…

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Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are getting all “cozy” again. They must attend group therapy together or have the same dentist because they are back to humping according to People.

They hit up a couple of hotels late last month and are now “enjoying each other’s friendship” and unless that translates as Jen hoping the condom breaks and John picturing Perez’s face on Aniston’s body or giving his hair a pep… talk I don’t buy it.

Sources squealed to the mag (in return for what I guessing is compensation of Crest toothpaste samples and a few cases of Fanta) that they are getting closer. Aniston is also making nice with his friends.

“The duo recently spent a night together late last month at New York City’s Bowery Hotel. “Jen was there on the arm of John and they were all very lovey,” says an onlooker. “She was in casual clothing as was he, and she seemed very comfortable around his crowd of friends.”

In other news John Mayer’s friends were seen boasting whitened teeth and toasting Fanta in celebration.

Happy Boss Day

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We would like to wish a HAPPY BOSS DAY to the most beloved Boss of all:

****The Hollywood Dame herself, Cara!!!!****

MWAH!!!

With Love and inappropriate hugs,
Crista and Holly