I should just hang my head in shame for not being the one to break Jessica Simpson’s life changing flatulence. The girl farted and it is front page news.
“While one of the executives was speaking in a room full of five people, Jessica let out a very loud fart,” says the insider.”Her mother [Tina Simpson] was there, and it prompted her to turn around and yell, ‘Jessica!’ The tension was extreme. No one knew what to say.”
This makes my mother’s story about the time she shared a Twinkie with that “Jew-boy who does the funny voices” (Hank Azaria Ma!) on the subway sound intriguing.
The Superficial: “Is anyone even the least bit surprised by this? Frankly I’m impressed she didn’t light it on fire only to start crying about “boys always dumping me, and I don’t know why” until someone ordered her a sympathy pizza.”
Celebitchy: “Jessica Simpson farts. In public. That’s the gist of this Us Weekly article that was labeled “Exclusive!” And now I can’t stop giggling, because I can just imagine a further headline: “Breaking: Wind”