Like a true douchebag, John Mayer sat down with Playboy Magazine and spilled the beans about his sexcapades with the ladies dumb enough to call him their own.
According to Mayer, sexy time with former girlfriend Jessica Simpson, was like a “drug” that he was willing to shell out top cash to pay for.
Via US Weekly:
“Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, ‘I want to quit my life and just f*****’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f*** you, I would start selling all my s*** just to keep f****** you.’”
Um, John? I am pretty sure that, when one states, “That’s all I’ll say,” you’re supposed to shut your cake hole.
But alas, always the narcissist, Mayer then went on to reveal details about his relationship with Jennifer Aniston.
“That woman would never use heartbreak warfare,” he tells Playboy. “That woman was the most communicative, sweetest, kindest person.”
I am sure Jen is happy to not be considered worthy of $10,000 for a night of bootyliciousness. I know I’d rather be remembered as ‘kind’ and ‘sweet’ like a grandmother other than hot and sexy.
