When you whisper things like “duty free alcohol” and “open bar,” Lindsay Lohan’s ears perk up and you will soon see her galloping over with an empty cup. Everyone, including Lohan, is aware she runs on vodka, Red Bull and the tears of a virgin. So what I don’t understand about this little diddy is the fact that she deems the word “milkaholic” to be synonymous with her. Bitch please. Milk hasn’t touched your lips since 1988. Regardless, she is suing E-Trade for $100 million.

Via NY Post:

The actress filed a lawsuit yesterday in Nassau County Supreme Court over the commercial that debuted during the Super Bowl this year. The ad — part of a series starring babies who play the stock market — features a boy apologizing to his girlfriend via video chat for not calling her the night before.

“And that milkaholic Lindsay wasn’t over?” the baby girl asks him suspiciously.

“Lindsay?” the boy replies, just before a baby girl sticks her head into the frame and slurs, “Milk-a-what?”

This insanity continues as her lawyer claims that Lindsay is the equivalent to Cher, Seal, Oprah and Madonna.

Lohan’s lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna.

“Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit,” Ovadia said. “They used the name Lindsay,” Ovadia said. “They’re using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn’t they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody’s talking about it and saying it’s Lindsay Lohan.”

There are about 2 Cher’s, 1 Oprah, 1 Seal’s and 2 Madonna’s and about 2 million Lindsay’s in the world. Who is her lawyer? Corky from “Life Goes On” probably felt sorry for her and is handling this. Hey… Ambien addictions, vodka IV’s and Samantha Ronson shrines aren’t cheap and Neiman Marcus doesn’t accept hand jobs as payment.

Quoteables:

Dlisted – “Note to Blohan: I don’t think White Oprah, Ali Lohan and all the voices in your head count as “everybody.” In fact, that counts as “nobody.”

Gawker – “Then again, last time I thought Lindsay was punking the press, it turned out she really was starting a leggings brand inspired by Marilyn Monroe that sometimes features built-in kneepads.”

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