Lindsay Lohan: Rehab is Like a Vacation

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Yup. This pretty much says it all. Lindsay Lohan recently blabbed to The Sun about how her dad is a massive douche and led her to drug abuse, but now she insists she is all better and “allowed to drink again” because she went to a Costco version of rehab. (Remembah that? No? Well, Click HERE to read up on her daddy issues.)

After that story spread through the net she was photographed partying 3 consecutive nights and even allegedly getting drunk and throwing cigarettes at waitresses. (Click HERE for Lindsay’s London Drunken Debacle.)

Now she is unleashing even more verbal fireworks for us to giggle about.

Via SF Gate:

“The second two times I went to rehab, I had to go because it was a court thing. It was an obligation. I had to do it to stay out of getting any jail time. And I took responsibility for that. And it was like a vacation.

“I love meeting new people and seeing what they’ve been experiencing. That’s what I go through in different characters. And I met some great people. It was a nice time to shut everyone off for a while because there was so much noise… It was a positive experience. When I was there it was like, there’s a lot of people that I know who should really be here now, not for drugs or alcohol abuse – just to learn about life. The world is nuts.”

I am surprised she did add: “Rehab is like an untapped well of Ambien! It’s like organized networking for blow whores with a bit of yoga mixed in.”

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Images Via: Lindsaylohansource

Jake Gyllenhaal Prince of Persia Gun Show

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We haven’t had a Gun Show in awhile and good ol’ Jake Gyllenhaal is giving us a fuzzy wuzzy show of Persian proportions. Obviously this is strictly gratuitous and has no real “news” value, but look at how yummy he is. You know me…I am a ho for a man with a bit of chest and likes to cook and will season my crepe pans. So when it comes to Jake, I love him and I get that old fashioned romantic feeling where I’d do anything to nail to him. (Ten points if you can name the movie that quote came from.)

Sigh.

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Howard Stern Bashes Jay Leno – Video

Howard Stern has no love for Jay Leno, and he’s surely not afraid to say it! CBS’ “The Early Show” gave the sometimes shocking radio host time Tuesday morning to slam the “Tonight Show” host when Harry Smith asked Stern about the Leno move on NBC – sending Stern launching into a mighty attack on Leno.

Per NY Daily News:

“Just the mere mention of Jay Leno’s name makes me to want to vomit,” Stern told “Early Show” anchor Harry Smith — who, not surprisingly, barely got a word in. “I don’t like this guy,” Stern said. “I don’t disguise it.”

The shock jock spoke to CBS live from his Sirius XM Radio studio for close to five minutes, once again accused Leno of stealing material from himself, David Letterman and even people in England. Stern said he felt that after Leno’s 10pm time slot failed, the respectable thing would have been for him to move to a new network and face Conan O’Brien and Letterman’s shows head-on.

“Jay Leno seems to be the kind of showbiz animal that won’t let go,” Stern said. “Jay is a lap dog.”

Ouch. I wouldn’t expect to see Stern on Leno’s lineup anytime soon.

Lady Gaga is Celibate

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Lady Gaga has shot down rumors she has reconciled with her ex-boyfriend (read about that here), insisting she is currently single and celibate, because her constant touring makes it impossible to hold down a relationship.

Per E!:

“I’m single because I don’t have the time,” she told a group of reporters Monday at a M.A.C Cosmetics’ Viva Glam event in London. “You know what? It’s OK. Even Lady Gaga can be celibate.”

Wow, that surprises me. I assumed she was quite wild in the bedroom. Although she wouldn’t reveal how long she plans to swear off sex, she says she is proud of her decision to be celibate because it sets a good example for her young female fans, who mean “everything” to her.

“If you can’t get to know them, you shouldn’t have sex with them. It’s okay at this point, in this day and age, we have grown up and we now know that we can’t be that free with your love,” she said, wisely encouraging young women to carry condoms and get frequent HIV tests. “You are not invincible.”

Robert Pattinson: Interviews, Kristen Stewart Rubbing, Oscar No Show

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Robert Pattinson put the Bump It back in his hair and has been doing a sparkle storm of press for his non-Twilight film, “Remember Me.” Yesterday he was on the “Today” show talking about the film and the involvement of 9/11 in the film. This does have an effect on the ending. Spoilers are below the cut.

Last night he did a small sketch with Jimmy Fallon and talked about his music talent and preparing for interviews.

Meanwhile NY Daily reports that Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were indulging in some PDA at Tribeca’s Laconda Verde.

“Robert and Kristen sat really close together and kept touching and rubbing each other’s arms as if no one else was around,” says a fellow diner at the Italian eatery. “They definitely appeared to be an item.”

As if the new couldn’t get any worse, Robert is rumored to be unable to attend the Oscars. Word is that he has to go back to Europe to continue filming “Bel Ami.”

And now for the “Remember Me” Spoilers – Click “Read More…” Below the Photos

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Images Via: WENN.com

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The Dame’s Link Worthy

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Joel Madden: Oscars DJ 2010: Right Celebrity

Photographers Arrested During Jason Mesnick and Molly Malaney’s Wedding!: Why Fame

What Does Jail Time Mean for Lil Wayne’s Career?: Popeater

‘Remember Me’ Premieres in New York: I Need My Fix

Which Celebrities Will Take Part In This Season’s ‘Dancing With The Stars’?: I’m Not Obsessed

OK Lady Gaga Has Officially Gone Off the Deep End: For Ladies By Ladies

Jake Pavelka: The Bachelor – The TRUTH After The Final Rose: BackSeat Cuddler

Video: Noah Cyrus dances for Justin Bieber: Earsucker

Have You Ever Gotten “The Disease”?: College Candy

Cyndi Lauper at the MAC VIVA Glam Launch: Celebrity Smack

Nick Jonas Takes a Leap, I Feel Dirty: Allie Is Wired

Rapper Trina’s Nude Pics Leaked Onto The Internet: Stupid Celebrities

Robert Pattinson New “Remember Me” Interview (Videos): Gossip Teen

Jim Carrey Is a Grandpa: Baby Jackson Riley Santana FIRST PHOTO!: Bumpshack

Dancing with the Stars 2010 Lineup

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I never watch this shiz despite the lure of has-beens being put into bedazzled frocks and made to dance like monkeys. Of course these same friends also tell me that watching “The Bachelor” is like witnesses the birth of baby Jesus.

Regardless the lineup for Dancing with the Stars has been announced. I only had to Google a few of these Z-listers which is already an improvement from last year’s list that put my Google out of commission for a week.

Kate Gosselin – The reason why weaves are needed in this world.
Pamela Anderson – The world’s first prostitute.
Evan Licecheck – Olympic gold medalist who is the Gargamel to Johnny Weir’s Vanity Smurf.
Nicole Scherzinger- Pussycat Doll. Yup, they are still around.
Brenda Walsh AKA Shannon Doherty (Some people can’t take a joke) – The PMS-y one from the original 90210
Ochocinco- Wide receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals
Jake Pavelka – The robot from The Bachelor managed to nab some reality star overtime.
Neicy Nash – Deputy Williams on Reno 911 and host of Clean House
Erin Andrews – ESPN sportscaster who was the victim of a peeping tom who caught her doing naked lunges while curling her hair in a hotel.
Buzz Aldrin – The second man on the moon.
Aiden Turner – Man who spends his days taking his shirt off in soft core Lady Porn AKA Soap Operas.

Image Via: DListed

Lindsay Lohan Red Bull Grenade – Photos

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Lindsay Lohan isn’t a fan of the paparazzi…when she is sober. The walking Coke Canyon tossed an open can of Red Bull at swarming photogs as she sat stone(d) faced in her car. Lohan was on her way to the Milan airport when she tossed the drink grenade style.

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Images Via: INF

Simon Cowell and Mezhgan Hussainy Engagement Ring

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My spell check hates Mezhgan Hussainy. Good thing she has an engagement ring the size of a dinner plate on her finger to make up for it.

Simon Cowell was laughing off engagement rumors just a few weeks ago. Now his fiancee is sporting a diamond engagement ring that is probably worth more than your house, car and precious moment figurine collection put together and multiplied by 5. She is a make up artist who puts the whore-face (as Aunty Tootsie calls make up) on American Idol contestants.

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Images Via: PopEater

Bret Michaels Defends Miley Cyrus Song- Video

Bret Michaels says he has nothing to apologize for about “Nothin’ to Lose,” his new song featuring Miley Cyrus thats been causing a bit of controversy with the “Hannah Montana” star singing about ‘slowly get undressed’ and ‘falling on top of your lover.’ In an interview with “Us Magazine,” Michaels says he was shocked by some of the comments he’s received, never really thinking about the lyrics themselves and had no idea people would make such a big deal out of the song.

“I was like, ‘What the f*ck is going on?’ Everyone’s going nuts! It’s blown out of proportion,” insists the father of two girls (Raine, 9, and Jorja, 4). “I never sat down and said, ‘Look at the content. Look at the lyrical content,’” Michaels admits. “The part where it says she slowly gets undressed, Miley says, ‘Yeah she does.’ It has no reference to her and I. It’s not even a duet.”

The song, which he said he wrote and recorded a couple of year ago without Cyrus, got her attention while they were recording her cover of his song “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” for her next album. Michaels said Cyrus’ mother was with them in a New York recording studio when he played “Nothin’ to Lose” during a break.

“[Miley's] like, ‘This is an incredible song, it’s beautiful. Maybe I could some stuff to it, some harmonies,’” Michaels recounts. “I said, ‘That’d be killer!’” The next thing they knew, the unlikely pair were recording “Nothin’” together. “She was excited that she didn’t have to follow any rules,” he says of their impromptu jam session. “As God is my witness, there is nothing I have to be defensive about,” he says. “I’m a good Dad. I just thought it was a beautiful song. “

Maybe the two should have waited another year before jumping in the studio for this one. This is probably just a publicity stunt on his end because most people wouldn’t have listened to this song if there wasn’t all this controversy! Scandal or no scandal, the song will appear on his next album due out in May.

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Images Via: WENN.com