Because there are about as many rumors surrounding Sandra Bullock and Jesse James as there are participants in Mistress Parade exhausting Hollywood’s Valtrex supply, I decided to put everything into one post for you. A recap, if you will.
Sandra Bullock, Jesse James Sex Tape – Ian Halperin started a rumor that Sandra Bullock and Jesse James have a sex tape floating around. (This is the same guy who penned a “Brangelina” book.) He claims:
“IUC confirmed late last night that Jesse James has the goods on his wife. It includes James smearing feces on Bullock’s upper lip during various types of anal sex, lots of profanity hurled from both parties, and a leather clad James, sporting a Hitler mustache with brown hat with a swastika, ramming a handcuffed Bullock’s rear with a shotgun in his left hand. This in from a close friend of the couple who has been in contact with both parties.”
Roll your eyes kittens because no other media outlet is supporting the claims. Sandra has finally broken her silence and released this statement:
“There is no sex tape. There never has been one and there never will be one.”
Several other sources say there are Jesse James sex tapes out there that all surround the Nazi fetish he is rumored to harbor.
“A source who saw one of the tapes spoke to RadarOnline.com on the condition of anonymity and gave a partial description. “What I saw was a naked woman on her knees and Jesse in a Nazi hat waving his arm in a salute,” the insider said. “It looked like the woman’s hands were bound. He was shouting and singing and appearing to swig from a bottle of bourbon every now and then.”
DO NOT WANT. Icky. There is another source who is adamant that several tapes are currently being shopped according to Radar.
Sandra Bullock Pregnant – Star magazine is claiming that Bullock is pregnant. Another eye roll. The mag has a photo of Sandra with a case of the sads on the cover with claims of pregnancy emblazoned on the cover. The story inside states that she had been undergoing fertility treatments. Save your cash for a pack of gum and a tall Vanilla Bean Frapp, extra whip because this is as true as the sex tape story.
A few mistresses are also rumored to be pregnant too, but I won’t be holding my breath to see some ho crap out a bald baby with a Hitler ‘stache any time soon. This rumor was reheated by another rumor flying around that a video of Sandra with proof of her pregnancy is on youtube. Here is the video below. Basically it’s over two minutes of instructions trying to get you to click on a link. DO NOT HIT THE LINK. It will take you to a page asking you to complete a survey. Take part in the survey and you will be greeted with a lovely virus.
[Sandra Bullock Pregnancy Video]
Sandra Bullock and Jesse James Divorce – It’s pretty much inevitable. Some rumors state that she is considering taking James back despite being a sex maniac with Holocaust fetish. I think it is safe to say that Bullock is one smart and cookie and will NOT be allowing him back in her bed. From a logical career stand point it’s obvious. How would we be able to respect someone who would condone this kind of f**kery in a marriage?
Another side of the story claims that Bullock has some dark secrets and fears retaliation from James if she does hand him divorce papers. It can’t get much worse than rumors of a sex tape filled with poo smearing and Nazi dress up so I doubt the validity of this one. She has been spotted meeting with attorneys and keeping a super low profile. My deduction says it is only a matter of time before she hits ALT+CTRL+I QUIT THIS BITCH button on Vanilla Gorilla.
thank you very successful