Hello ‘Lost’ fans! Another week of ‘Lost’ means we are another week closer to the end of our beloved series. And I am, once again torn. Many of you thought that I didn’t enjoy last week’s Desmond-centric episode, but I did. I was merely upset at the amount of confusion that the episode brought. But I guess I received my comeuppance this week with ‘Everybody Loves Hugo, ’ no?

Please do not get me wrong. I love Hurley. Really I do. He’s loveable, he’s fat, he has a love of chicken only matched by friend Shaun’s willingness to eat that godforsaken chicken mess released yesterday at KFC. But, does everybody really love Hugo?

A man does not automatically become a public figure because he happens to build an empire out of chicken fat. –James Pickney Miller

‘Everybody Loves Hugo’ began with Hurley receiving a Tyrannosaurus Rex award from none other than Pierre Chang for all the work he did with Mr. Cluck’s House for Children (nice!). Apparently, Sideways World Hugo is a real humanitarian. However, all his accomplishments do not make Mama Reyes happy. She has grandbaby syndrome. Many menopausal women suffer from this disease. She wants Hugo to find a lady friend-like NOW! And to help with this, she has set him up on a blind date with someone’s niece’s dog’s uncle’s cat’s grandmother twice removed-Rosalita.

It didn’t take a Pierre Chang to realize that Hugo would be stood up as he ate chips and salsa at Spanish Johnny’s (ps what a terrible name for a fake restaurant). But never fear, in Sideways World Libby is alive, still nuts, and loves a poor man’s Chi Chi’s. She’s there, takes his hands, and starts telling him all about how they already know one another and she hopes he remembers as well. She’s then whisked away by Santa Rosa’s finest and put back on her happy trails van to the funny farm.

Hurley tackles depression similar to the way I handle it: with fried chicken. Desmond happens to wander into the same Mr. Cluck’s and remembers Hurley from flight 815. You know Desmond is now on a mission. A mission to make everyone aware of their alternate reality. You with me?

He and Hurley have a lovely conversation about alternate universes and lost loves. Des gives Hurley some advice: “Just go with your gut, brotha.” Then he gets his chicken and leaves. Um, is it just me or do you think that there is no way in Hades that a smokin’ hot Scotsman like Des is fillin’ up on fried chicken?

So Hurley takes Des’s advice and heads off to the Santa Rosa home for Checker Eaters and, after a sizeable contribution to the home, is allowed to see Libby. He doesn’t remember, but she seems to have memories from another life the two of them shared…oh, and she also has issues with reality.

Hurley then asks her on a date thus proving only someone with reality issues would want to date a multi-millionaire who hands out checks for $100,000 like candy on Halloween.

Hurley then takes Libby and her massive boobage (did you see that?) on a beach picnic where they kiss and he is flooded with the memories of their time together on the island. Hurley must really dig her, because he doesn’t care that she has lipstick all over her teeth. I did. But, I am a fickle bitch.

Des is watching from the confines of his awesome new and waterproof car. His work is done. Onto the next 815’er. And that lucky man is John Locke. Des has stationed himself outside of the school where Ben teaches and Locke is a sub, in a sexual predator kind of way. He’s approached by Ben, who apparently is all about protecting the kids and wants to know why Des is being creepy and watching the kids. He’s not watching the kids, silly. He’s waiting for the right time to run John Locke down with his car. WHAT?!? Seriously, in an episode that was good, yet predictable, did you see that one coming? I did not!

No worries. I have a feeling Locke will be rushed to the hospital where Dr. Jack will work his hot hands over that mess of a man and make it all better…while they both realize their alternate lives as well.

On the island, things started out a little grim. Hurley is paying his respects to dead Libby when Ilana interrupts. He tells her about Libby, she is courteous, but seems to care less. Then the whispers start and out pops dead Michael. Ugh. Sorry, but Michael is of no use to me sans Walt. Really. I LOVED Michael season one, hated him (in a good way) season two, then stopped caring about him altogether. This is no exception.

Michael rambles on about Hurley needing to stop the rest from blowing up the plane. Hurley doesn’t trust Michael, even dead Michael. But we all know he’s going to listen to him. Because Hurley isn’t really capable of making a decision without consulting the dead.

Then there’s Jack. He’s sweaty. He may have said something, I didn’t notice. Side note: As many of you know, some Oregon stripper claimed to have had an affair with Matthew Fox. He’s now (finally) denying it and claiming his wife is “…the sh*t.” If a man said that about me, I would be ticked. But if Matthew Fox said that about me, I would strip nude.

Ilana has ganked four sticks of Doc Artz killing dynamite and plans to head to the plane with the others. Then BLAM! It blows up and Ilana is dead!!! Awesome. This is the second HOLY SMOKE moment of the episode. I didn’t see it coming, but I will take it. She got on my nerves.

However, the best line of the show (that wasn’t comic relief) came from Ben who, after Ilana’s demise pointed out that the island was “done with her” and that he wonders what will happen to them once the island is done with them. No worries Ben. I think we’re going to find out.

Back at Camp Cupcake, a disgruntled Sawyer begins to question UnLocke as to why they aren’t going after Jin. UL (can we call him this, please?) reminds him that, since they came together, they have to leave together. Um, OK.

Sayid returns and takes UL on a hike to show him the sites: there’s a dormant volcano, a mango tree, a Scotsman tied to a bush. Yes, it’s Des. And he seems content. Des claims to not know why Widmore brought him to the island and, after telling UL he has nowhere to run, he is untied. He and UL go for a walk to a well that looks more like a high school play-prop than a well built thousands of years ago. And, after some conversation meaning nothing takes place, UL pushes Des down into it.

What was significant about their conversation is that, when asked why he wasn’t afraid, Des responded that being afraid gets you nothing. This, combined with his overall contentness, leads me to think that Des already knows what’s going to happen. I don’t think we saw everything that Des did. He knows, and therefore being pushed into a well makes no nevermind to him.

Back to Hurley and the Hot Doc…Richard convinces them to head to the Black Rock to get some more dynamite to blow up the plane. Here’s an idea: instead of looking for more dynamite, why not use your guns to shoot up the cockpit? Or kick out the windows? I am pretty sure I plane can’t fly if the window are broken.

Without warning, Hurley comes running from the old ship just as it blows up. He then lies and tells everyone that Jacob has instructed him to talk to UL. Richard, Ben, and Miles (or as I like to call them, the three guys who will die), don’t listen and head to the plane.

Jack, Sun, and Lippidus side with Hurley and take off for Camp Cupcake to talk to UL. Here’s my big prediction: Richard, Ben, and Miles will die in an effort to blow up the plane. Lippidus will live and will fly the candidates off the island…maybe. I haven’t a clue STILL.

Hurley confesses to Jack that he didn’t really see Jacob. Jack knows. Of course he does. He’s Jack. But Jack is resigned. Maybe he needs to stop fixing things and just let it all happen. Boo. I don’t like weary Jack. I like my Hot Doc hardcore. Remember when he beat the crap out of Ben? I LOVED that. I MISS that. Bring that back!!!!

They arrive at Camp Cupcake where Hurley acts as spokesperson and asks UL not to kill his friends. Hurley doesn’t know that UL needs them to get off the island. Everyone emerges from the jungle, Kate smiles (go screw yourself) and Jack and Locke exchange eye daggers…and he knows!! Yes!!! I totally believe that now Jack knows what he has to do. At that moment, when he saw UL it became clear…now rip your shirt off.