January Jones Hit and Run, Plus HICKEY PHOTOS: BOBBY FLAY UPDATE

The blonde chic from “Mad Men” pulled some hit and run hood rat shiz last night. January Jones hit three parked cars and then exited stage left while mumbling about not being able to deal…

LAPD tells TMZ January was driving a Range Rover around 9 PM last night when she allegedly lost control, hit the other cars and caused some major damage. We’re told a witness reported the accident to police and claimed that January fled on foot after saying, “I can’t deal with this commotion.”

Eventually she went back and Jones’ excuse for exiting Dynasty style was paparazzi following her. The cops bought that crap and didn’t arrest her, but they are investigating. No alcohol or drugs were involved according to the police, but they didn’t bother to test her either.

I find her to be as interesting as a plastic bag in the wind, but the paps were all over her after they caught her doing a “cab ride of shame” the day before. (C-List stars don’t do walks of shame.) She hit some GQ/Oceana soiree and then hit an after party. The following morning she got into a cab with her hair a mess, strapless bra hanging out and looking like she had slept a cumulative 20 minutes. Don’t pretend you haven’t had to pick bits of Dortios from your hair, take a whores bath in a frat bathroom and walk home.

She was also was photographed sporting a hickey as she was leaving another party in Malibu in late May. Maybe I underestimated what kind of ho shiz this girl is capable of…

UPDATE: Apparently Bobby Flay was also on the scene of the accident. Jones called him after she got into the accident. He showed up to see if she was ok. This is crap story his publicist cooked up:

Baum says Flay only met Jones once, and gave her his number because she said she wants to remodel her kitchen.

After crashing her car, Jones called Flay for help and Baum says he went to the scene to see if she was OK.”

Yes, this story needs Febreezed as it too smells fishy.

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Images Via: WENN.com, Wireimage

‘Breaking Dawn’ Officially Announced As Two Movies

Twilight fans rejoice! Summit confirmed yesterday what every Twihard and her cousin already knew – Summit will pull a Harry Potter and split “Breaking Dawn” into two films, with Bill Condon directing both, and shooting them back to back, with part one slated for a November 2011 release.

Per Hollywood Crush:

Los Angeles, CA, June 10, 2010 – Summit Entertainment confirmed today that THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN will be released as two separate films with the first of the two slated to be released in theatres on November 18, 2011. Academy Award® winner Bill Condon will direct both films starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner along with Billy Burke as Charlie Swan as well as returning members of the Cullen Family including Peter Facinelli as Carlisle, Elizabeth Reaser as Esme, Jackson Rathbone as Jasper, Nikki Reed as Rosalie, Ashley Greene as Alice and Kellan Lutz as Emmett.

The project, based on the fourth novel in author Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series, is currently being written by Melissa Rosenberg with Wyck Godfrey, Karen Rosenfelt and Stephenie Meyer producing. The TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN will start production in the Fall.

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN illuminates the secrets and mysteries of this spellbinding romantic epic that has entranced millions.

Summit was reported to be considering doing to films about the final book in the Twilight series but had to sign up key stars for the movie, because two films weren’t part of the original negotiations for the series. Pattinson and Stewart negotiated their deals quickly, but Greene and Lutz held out for more money (read about that here.) It looked for a time like they might be replaced, but finally agreed to a compromise. Condon promises to make the movies into something sexy but suitable for kids. I can’t wait to see how they handle the honeymoon and birthing scene in the movies as the latter was pretty disturbing in the book. The biggest question now is where in the story the first film will end and where the second film begins.

There is no release date given for the second film yet, but given the urgency we can only guess it will be the first half of 2012 or, at the latest, late 2012. But that’s of course just a guess. Yes, Twilight-haters…. This means you’re not even halfway through the phenomenon yet!

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Images Via: WENN.com

Disney Reggae Club CD GIVEAWAY!

Circle of Life – Matisyahu (From The Disney Reggae Club) from Think Tank on Vimeo.

The soundtrack to a Summer of fun in the sun is here with The Disney Reggae Club featuring Ziggy Marley, UB40, Burning Spear, Sly & Robbie, Matisyahu, and more – available in stores and online TODAY! Click HERE to shop. Or you can win your very own copy just by submitting your favorite Disney movie and reason why it’s your fav in the comment section below winners will be chosen and contacted on June 18th.

“The genius of Disney songs is that they are timeless and adaptable to every musical genre,” says executive producer Brian Malouf. “Reggae is so joyous and spirited, we knew these songs would lend themselves perfectly. I’m happy to say the artists, many of them true legends of reggae, all jumped at the chance to participate. “

Witness the magical animation of Walt Disney’s The Lion King combined with the vibin’ sounds of Matisyahu’s reggae cover of “The Circle of Life” – from The Disney Reggae Club!

The Disney Reggae Club – Tracklist

1. “Circle of Life” (from “The Lion King”) Performed by Matisyahu
2. “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” (from “The Lion King”) Performed by Cedella Marley
3. “The Bare Necessities” (from “The Jungle Book”) Performed by Steel Pulse
4. “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” (Desmond Dekker’s reggae classic also featured in “The Lion King”) Performed by Morgan Heritage
5. “What a Wonderful World” (Louis Armstrong classic) Performed by Ziggy Marley
6. “True to Your Heart” (from “Mulan”) Performed by The Wailing Souls
7. “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” (from “Toy Story) Performed by Sly & Robbie
8. “Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah” (from “Song of the South”) Performed by Toots & the Maytals
9. “I Wan’na Be Like You” (from “The Jungle Book”) Performed by UB40
10. “Ev’rybody Wants to Be a Cat” (from “The Aristocats”) Performed by Michael G & the Easy Star All-Stars
11. “Kiss The Girl” (from “The Little Mermaid”) Performed by Burning Spear
12. “Under The Sea” (from “The Little Mermaid”) Performed by Gregory Isaacs
13. “Find Yourself” (from “Cars”) Performed by Yellowman

You can also check out our other giveaways by clicking HERE. Today is the last day to enter for the Clay Aiken CD giveaway ! Or if U2 is more your style, click HERE to win their DVD and limited edition poster!

Jennifer Aniston Dating SNL’s Jason Sudeikis

Jennifer Aniston’s taste in men is almost as varied as her ex-boyfriend John Mayer’s ladies panty collection.

Aniston is now reportedly dating Saturday Night Live sexy beast, Jason Sudeikis.

The two met while filming that steaming pile of a movie ‘The Bounty Hunter.’ However, Sudeikis was married during the film’s shoot and Aniston, well she was too busy letting co-star Gerard Butler stick his fingers in her back door (see those pics by CLICKING HERE).

Via D-Listed:

“When Jen found out he was going through a break-up late last year, she made the effort to invite Jason over for dinner in case he was feeling lonely or down. They talked for hours and really opened up to each other. After a while, Jen realized she missed him in-between dates. She finds him hilarious. He is just what Jen needs — a solid, low key, funny man. It’s early days, but she’s quietly thrilled.”

Because a true friend helps you through a divorce by inviting you to dinner…while you’re nude…and sending picture messages to Brad Pitt. OK. So that probably didn’t happen. Aniston likely left her heels on.

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Images Via: wenn.com and D-Listed

13 Year-Old Kayla Manson Drops the “C” Word on the ‘Today Show’-VIDEO NSFW

In a true answer to the age old question, ‘What is the world coming to?’ I present to you 13 year-old Kayla Manson.

WARNING: The following video contains harsh language and may not be suitable for all ears.

While being interviewed by Meredith Viera on ‘The Today Show’ yesterday, precious little Kayla dropped the dreaded C-Bomb of bad words not once, but twice!

Via Oh No They Didn’t:

“This morning’s c**t bomb on Today was bittersweet, because it came from a 13-year-old girl who is a possible accomplice to a brutal beating of another girl over text messages. And the girl didn’t namedrop Heather Mills just once. Girl did it twice!”

That’s right kittens, not only is Kayla sugar and spice and all things nice, she’ll also cut a bitch if you send her a text message.

Youth is wasted on the young.

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Images and Video Via: D Listed and Oh No They Didn’t

Miley Cyrus Shows Off Bra, Underwear and Crotch – PHOTOS

To distract you from how painful listening to her attempt to belt out tunes like she is the white Whitney Houston, Miley Cyrus struts around in a see through dress showing off her bra and panties.

Cyrus is unleashing her inner Lindsay Lohan lately. She caused minor gasp in the world of scandal after she fake kissed another female dancer. For her new video, she was kissing her male co-star and it didn’t look like she was doing her serious ‘actressing’ while making out for the camera.

While performing in London, she also gave PedoBear a reason to clock out early. She hit the stage in a rejected “Pretty Woman” hooker outfit and gave the front row a shot of her crotch. Seriously. I have seen tricks working a Big Lots parking lot in this ho-wear.

Ladies and gentlemen….the future of our nation:

UPDATE: Click HERE for the video of Miley Cyrus smoking from a bong…

OR

Click HERE for Cyrus’ personal nude cell phone pics…

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Images Via: WENN.com

Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper Engaged

Let’s hope another marriage for Squints will last longer than the milk in my fridge and not end with accusations of fraud. Rumors are brewing that Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper are getting married.

The proof? Star Mag (via Page Six) was stalking the rom-com star and saw her shopping for Carolina Herrera wedding gowns.

First, Zellweger was photographed last week by Star magazine at the Carolina Herrera boutique in West Hollywood, where a big rack of wedding gowns was wheeled by. After browsing for two hours, she left with a garment bag. “She just kept smiling when asked if she’s getting married,” the weekly reports. Second, she and Cooper had lunch with her parents yesterday at the Tribeca Grand.

This claim makes me scratch my head because I didn’t realize Herrera stocked gowns for members of Skeletor’s army in store. Whateves. Mazel tov.

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Images Via: WENN.com

Shia LaBeouf Caught Stealing Camera!?!

Seems like ‘Wall Street 2′ star Shia LaBeouf (or as the French say, Sh*t the Beef), isn’t exactly camera shy.

The actor was reportedly caught red-handed stealing a camera from a car driven by a paparazzo stationed outside his Los Angeles home.

Via Popeater:

“The ‘Transformers’ star reportedly saw the paparazzi swarming outside of his house and decided the only way to keep them from snapping photos was to take the cameras out of the equation. He helped himself to the equipment and reportedly returned to his residence to call the police.”

Unfortunately, LaBeouf was the only one guilty of commiting a crime. However, the police asked him to return the camera and didn’t place him under arrest.

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Images Via: wenn.com

Russell Crowe DIED – Rumor

Because it is Thursday and we are all ready to clock out and play with sparklers and drink massive amounts of Pabst (I am pretty sure it’s the appropriate drank of Fourth of July), here comes a “Russell Crowe died y’all!” rumor.

You can stop clutching your Gladiator posters and packing up your toys because your masturbatorial fantasy from 2000 is alive and well. Russell Crowe is not dead.

Celebrities BANNED from SNL

Saturday Night Live isn’t shy about the fact their office politics operates on a rodeo of egos. So here is a list of celebrities that are banned from appearing on SNL.

Steven Seagal – The pudgy action figure turned assistant molester hosted on April 20, 1991, was banned from hosting because of his difficulty in working with the cast and crew.

A year and a half later, Nicolas Cage hosted on September 26, 1992. Nicolas spoke with Lorne backstage, saying, “…they probably think I’m the biggest jerk who’s ever been on the show!” to which Lorne replied, “No, no. That would be Steven Seagal.”

Cypress Hill – The band managed to get themselves banned from the show after their October 2, 1993 episode. DJ Muggs lit up a joint on-air and the band trashed their instruments after playing their second single “I Ain’t Goin’ Out Like That.”

[Sinead O'Connor SNL Banned Pope Insult 'War' - Video]

Sinead O’Connor – Sinéad O’Connor was blacklisted from re-appearing on SNL after her performance on October 3, 1992. During she did her version of Bob Marley’s “War,” she shouted the word “evil” while holding up a picture of Pope John Paul II, tore it up and yelled, “Fight the real enemy!”
Dave Wilson immediately turned off the “applause” cue. The audience sat in total silence. Within minutes the peacock network received hundreds of complaints. At the end of the show, host Tim Robbins, who was raised Catholic, refused to give O’Connor the customary “thanks” for being the musical guest.

To this day, NBC refuses to give out the footage of the performance. It was also edited out of the syndicated version of the episode. Instead, the incident was replaced with footage from the dress rehearsal. In 2003, it was show with an explanation from Lorne Michaels, on Disc 4 of the ‘Saturday Night Live – 25 Years of Music’ DVD set.

Martin Lawrence – He nearly cost some SNL employees their jobs after his attempt to be funny during his monologue went very wrong. On the February 19, 1994 episode, Martin’s opening scene included comments about feminine hygiene. It has since been edited out of repeats and replaced with a graphic and voice-over that stated:

“At this point in his monologue, Martin begins a commentary on what he considers the decline in standards of feminine hygiene in this country. Although we at Saturday Night Live take no stand on this issue one way or the other, network policy prevents us from re-broadcasting this portion of his remarks.

In summary, Martin feels, or felt at the time, that the failure of many young women to bathe thoroughly is a serious problem that demands our attention. He explores this problem, citing numerous examples from his personal experience, and ends by proposing several imaginative solutions.

It was a frank and lively presentation, and nearly cost us all our jobs. We now return to the conclusion of Martin’s monologue.”

*Full Martin Lawrence SNL Monologue Transcript Below

Adrien Brody – He became the latest person no longer allowed on Saturday Night Live on May 10, 2003. He came out to introduce reggae musician Sean Paul, while wearing stereotypical Rastafarian gear including dreadlocks. Adrien then began rambling in a Jamaican accent for almost a full minute before finally flubbing the musical guest’s name, asking everyone to welcome “Sean John.”

Chevy Chase was no longer welcomed on the set after his appearance on February 15, 1997. This time the trouble wasn’t onscreen. Chevy treated fellow cast and crew horribly. His ego was too big for the set and his bigotry toward openly gay cast member, Terry Sweeney, earned him a snub from the producers. In 1985 Chase told Terry that he would be perfect for a sketch about an AIDS victim. His ban appeared to be flexible. He appeared on the 25th anniversary special in 1999, was interviewed for the 2005 special Live From New York: The First Five Years of Saturday Night Live, and cameoed in two episodes (one hosted by Bill Murray in 1999 and another hosted by Sean William Scott in 2001).

Martin Lawrence SNL Monologue Transcript:

Martin Lawrence: Yeah! Thank you, thank you, thank you very much. Thank you, uh-huh. Yeah! Man, man oh man, look at all these white people.

No, I guess this ain’t the Def Jam, right, so I-I guess I better be cool, huh? I got some black folks out there to back me up though. (Cheers)

Woo! All right, all right. Man, I-I am so happy to be here, this is a dream come true for me. I mean, hostin’ Saturday Night Live, I watched everybody. All of ‘em on here, and I was like “when I’m gonna get my chance? When I’m gonna get my chance?” Well dammit, now is my chance. Ain’t no stoppin me now, I tell you.

It’s crazy though, I gotta talk about some things that the daggone censors are followin’ me everywhere around, wish they’d get off my ass- oops, damn, did I slip?

It’s botherin’ me, man. You know, “you can’t say this, you can’t say that,” I’m like, well, how am I gonna talk about the world? You know? I mean I need to talk about something to you all, can I- can I do it? Can I talk to y’all? (Cheers & applause) I mean, I-I hope the kids are in bed, you know, because I got to talk, y’all.

Um… Something concerns me real deeply. You know, uh, and it’s crazy, uh, and no fella has come up to me, none of the brothers, anybody, has acted like it concerns them as much as it has me.

Um… The ladies, in the 90s, have license to cut off the pilly-packers. (Laughs)Yep. They got license to cut your thing off, man. And this scares me, OK? Because I know women are mad in the 90s, especially white women, I mean, this is the year where they smash your knees and cutting the pilly-packers off.

You know what I’m saying? But I mean, I feel for that man though, man. I feel for him. cause she took his thang man, you know what I’m saying? He can’t do this (mimes intercourse). He ain’t ever gonna really be able to do this. You know, if you can’t do this in your life somethin’s missin’. You know what I’m saying? And the lady cut it off, man, and cut it off while he was asleep and he ain’t even know it was gone. He was asleep, just chillin’, you know, rubbing, having one of them dreams, (mimes sleeping man feeling for penis) and woke up and wasn’t nothin’ there.

Now what got me about the whole thing was, if she’s gonna cut it off at least she coulda left it around his bed or somethin’, you know what I’m sayin’, the man woke up with no options, couldn’t find the peely- pilly packer nowhere, you know what I’m sayin?

What she did with it, got in the car, then she got in the car with- held it in one hand drove the car with the other. Drove down the damn street and threw it in the neighbor’s yard. “Here, he’d like to visit your ass.”

It scares me, y’all. It’s sad, man, a-and how I found out, I found a brother, I heard a brother found it. You know, and it was scary cause they say he was just walkin’ down the street, mindin’ his own business, he’s chillin’, he… (mimes walking and stopping in surprise)… cause he saw this he said “Wait a minute, is that a pilly-packer? Damn.” And it was white and little, so he had to squint. (Laughs & applause)

He ain’t really know, you know, he said “Damn, well I don’t really know that person,” he wanted to pick it up but he said “I don’t know the person.” So uh, what he did was run and get a stick and scooped it up, you know and said “All right, cool, what can I do with it, can- what can I do with it,” you know, “what can I do with it?” You know?

And he thought, and he said “what would a white man do, what would a white man do?” You know, and the first thing came to the brother’s head was get it on ice, you know. So he saw an ice cream truck, you know, threw the pilly-packer on some sno-cones, you know. It scares me so bad I don’t go to bed without a Nutty Buddy by my side, y’all.

Something else concerns me and it hurts, see I’m, I’m single, I’m a single man, I don’t have nobody, I’m looking for somebody and- but I’m meeting a lot of women out there, and you got some beautiful women, but you got some out there that, uh, I gotta say somethin’. Um… some of you are not washing your ass properly.* (laughter & applause) OK? Don’t- don’t get me wrong, not all, some of you, you know what I’m sayin’, uh… I’m sorry, ‘Cause uh, listen, now, I don’t know what it is a woman got to do to keep up the hygiene on the body I know, uh, I’m watching douche commercials on television, and I’m wonderin’ if some of you are reading the instructions. I don’t think so. Y’know, ’cause I’m getting with some of the ladies, smelling odors, going “Wait a minute. (gestures with index finger) Girl, smell this! This you! Smell yourself, girl.”

Smell yourself! I tell a woman in a minute, douche! douche! Some women don’t like when you tell them that, when you straightforward with them. “Douche!” They, (imitating woman) “Forget you! You cannot douche all the time, you’re gonna wash all the natural juices out the body.” I say, well, I dont give a damn what you do, put a Tic-Tac in your ass. Put a Cert in your ass. Oh, oh, y’know, this look like a good damn place for a Stick-up up in your ass.

I’m sorry, y’all. You got to wash properly. You know, and then, you know, ’cause I’m a man, I like to kiss on women, you know, I like to kiss all over their bodies, you know. But if you’re not clean in your proper areas I can’t… you know… kiss all over the places I wanna kiss. You know, some women’ll let you go down, you know what I’m sayin’, knowin’ they got a yeast infection. (Some audience disgust) I’m sorry. Sorry. Come up with dough all on your damn lip… Got a bagel and a croissant on your lip. “Anybody got any butter?” I like jelly on mine.

Well look here, y’all, we got a great show for you tonight, cause I’m here. (Cheers and applause) That’s right. I’m here, Crash- yo, yo! Crash Test Dummies are here so yo, we’ll be back, hang on, we gonna be back, we gonna do our thing!

(removes shirt and conducts martial arts moves)