Nothing good ever happens when Charlie Sheen opens his mouth. When he isn’t getting drunk/high/locking hookers in closets he is ‘chivalrous’ soldier of Jesus. Executives became exhausted in dealing with whether or not Charlie was going to be in rehab/jail/hospital and axed the rest of ‘Two and a Half Men.’ This made The Sheen angry and he is planning on suing CBS and Chuck Lorre. He revealed his tender hurt feelings during an interview on Good Morning America.
Charlie on Being on the Best Drug EVAH: “I am on a drug. It’s called CHARLIE SHEEN! Um, it’s not available, because if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body. Um. Too much.”
Charlie Not Being Afraid of a Drug Test: “Sure, you’ve got a cup? I’ve got nothing to hide.”
Charlie on His Mind’s Ability to Become Instantly Sober: “I’ve closed my eyes and made it so…with the power of my mind. I had to unload 22 years of fiction and just decided that I don’t need that anymore. I know my own truth. The fiction of AA. It’s a silly book written by a broken down fool who was a plagiarist. They think it’s one size fits all and it didn’t fit me. I got tired of it.”
Charlie on Why His Plasma Was Replaced With Booze and Coke: I did that because they work. They change the way you see things. Change the way you feel. And yeah, when you’re a little bit bored with redundancy of certain aspects of your life.. Yeah, I think that’s why people do them.”
Charlie on Being Six different kinds of Smart – “I got tiger blood, man. My brain….fires in a way that is — I don’t know, maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm. There’s certain blends I will not entertain because this [is] how people go down. I’m too smart to do that. I’m sorry for the guys that that happened to, but, you know, you should have read the directions before you showed up at the party.”
Charlie on How His Kids Will Find His Penchant for Beating Up Hotel Furniture’s and Chandeliers Educational: “God no. Talk about an education. I mean, this and then that’s the guy and he’s our dad and we can get all the answers and the truth. WOW. Wining! That’s how you perceive it. ”
Charlie on Suing Those Coke Fiend Haters: “Wouldn’t you? I don’t have a job. I’ve got a whole family to support and love. People a lot more important than me are relying on that money to fuel the magic.”
During the interview he barely blinks, speaks about 10,000 words a second while chain smoking and drinking “Juicy Juice.” All the signs of a truly sober and changed man…
(Que the hookers, porn stars and dealers giggling in the closet)
Charlie, you have single handedly destroyed your career with no caring about your co-stars incomes or wellbeing. You were once one of my favorite actors, but now you just make me want to change the channel when 2 1/2 men cames on. Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth, loser!
I think John Stamos is too nice of a guy to play a cad-like character a la Charlie. Get Corey Feldman–he and Charlie Sheen are similar in personality! Corey Feldman would make a great cousin or long-lost brother character!