How dumb do you have to be to make a Kardashian look intelligent? I didn’t think it could be done, but Bret Lockett and his Kim Kardashian affair claims are proving otherwise.
Lockett, Patriots player, claims he had an affair with Kim while she has been dating Kris Humphries. He insists that they have been boinking for about 5 months. In Touch (click HERE for the original report) first ran with the story and he claimed that it was a “physical relationship.” Now, he has a case of the WHAT I MEANT WAS as CNN is entering the ring on the sext circus…
“I’ve said before that it was a physical relationship, but I say that meaning there was a physical aspect in the relationship. She did tell me that she was touching herself in a physical way over the phone, towards me. So when I say physical, that’s what I mean.”
He then admits he has never actually seen Kim in person to shake her hand let alone hump. Lockett explained that friend of his was approached by a friend of Kim’s for a number exchange. Someone get this guy on the phone for me because I’d like to sell him a one-of-a-kind wish granting one headed cat.
Dumb ho is dumb. He has probably been describing his enjoyment of nipple rings and being spanked with Rachel Ray signed spatulas to some dime store trick for the last five months.
Kim is now suing the pro-football player and is due to file the lawsuit today. Her attorney also told him to hold on to the evidence he says he has because he is going to need it.
At first I believed this mess because Kim goes through black men with a knack for sports faster than she goes through toilet paper. I have a feeling that his defense will be something along the lines of…
Judge: “What evidence do you have that you engaged in a relationship with Miss Kardashian?”
Lockett: “Your honor, I am a black male involved in pro-sports. I also have a working penis and this autographed nude picture of Kim that has been smudged with eyeliner.
Kim’s Attorney: “Objection! Everyone has an autographed nude photo of Miss Kardashian. She hands them out instead of business cards.”
“Judge: “Sustained, however, since Mr. Lockett is a young and relatively wealthy African American with functioning genitals…it is pretty much a sure bet. Bret wins. Now, who wants to go get some Friday’s mozzarella sticks?”
Then the guy went an opened his mouth. I am sure the Kardashians are still doing their happy dance because a good famehooker enjoys any kind of relevancy.
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Images Via: WENN.com
