After 5 seasons of getting drunk and waking up in trash cans, crashing into police escorts, drinking enough booze to make The Hoff cry over a thousand cheeseburgers and coming up with poetic quotes like: “I’m a bartender. I do, you know, great things,” the cast of ‘Jersey Shore’ is going to be replaced.
Before you go trying to replace the loss by watching skanks spend their welfare checks on booze and tanning specials, MTV will continue with the show but with all new Guido monkeys according Us. This will mean cheaper hos performing their tricks for our amusement and the former cast will have their own spinoffs. The Situation, Snooki, JWOWW and Pauly D will all have their own shows to keep the hair gel and plastic bottles of vodka flowing.
