Lindsay Lohan won’t pimp her own Playboy spread, but she is turning the red light on for her SNL gig this weekend. She is working hard to portray herself in Elizabeth Taylor’s image because she was to the do the role justice and make the icon proud. (Read: I gots to pay mah bills! Nature’s credit card is over it’s limit if ya know what I mean.)
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Lindsay combed and fumigated her weave, wiped the vomit off her cheek and threw on a fresh coat of lipstick after bathing in her neighbor’s koi pond to talk about being a “serious actress” for the millionth time. You can tell Matt Lauer really isn’t buying it and is giving her a “Ho, we have heard the same sober song and dance before. You even lied to Leno!”
Lindsay on spitting out lies, rolling in deception and dipping herself in denial: “Definitely and I think it was — it’s a scary thing to have to kind of express to people … I wasn’t as comfortable with myself then. I think it was a fear factor that I had about what was really going on. And, you know, I had to get that wakeup call.”
Lindsay on having seen it/done it/snorted it all to the point it’s boring now: “That’s not my thing anymore. I went out, actually, a few months ago with a friend. And I was so uncomfortable. Not because I felt tempted, just because it was just the same thing that it always was before. And it just wasn’t fun for me. I’ve become more of a homebody. And I like that.”
Lindsay on figuring out the concept most people learn by the age of 10: “I think that that’s gonna take — I think that takes time. And I think that it’s actions. Because people can say things all they want, but I think I still need to go through the process of proving myself, you know, with ‘SNL,’ being on time, being, you know, keeping my — can’t say the word — but stuff together.”
Lindsay on ‘SNL’ being her moment to show how talented/changed/responsible she is: “”I don’t want people to have that reason to be scared anymore. So being able to have this opportunity with ‘SNL’ and the film, I’m gonna do what I’m supposed to do, and enjoy doing it, and do it as best as I can.”
Now that I think about it…has someone checked on Lorne Michaels lately? I have a slight fear that he is actually locked in some sort of prison made of old Grey Goose bottles and Dina Lohan is in a middle aged man-suit calling the shots.
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I usually don’t follow this stuff , I guess thinking I’m more intellectual . But ……. I am a mother and have a struggling 23 year old ( not drugs , but trying to be accepted and ADHD issues ! ) and , as a mother I feel for her . She’s so young and in a industry that puts you into the highest heights , but has a very dark side in that they will take you to the lowest as well . That judge believes in her and it has made a difference to Lindsay. She was brilliant in ” Parent Trap. ” Only a child !!! She should remove herself from “enabling ” relationships ( including parents ) . Lindsay , if you ever need a ” mom” for anything… I’m here. Bravo to you my dear !