Along with being dressed by the ghastly tacky clearance bin at Big Lots, Snooki is reportedly pregnant. This rumor has flown around hair salons in Jersey many times, but she denied it while on a radio show a few weeks ago. Enter the New York Post. A source insists that she is pregnant and has been hiding the baby because she just scored a spinoff with MTV. Being that her show is based on getting drunk, flashing your bagina for club entry and closing out the night by making out with 6 different people and spending the morning trying to figure out how Old Dirty Bastard ended up in your bath tub while scrubbing the puke out of your gigantic furry boots… a baby is going to be hard to work into the plot and still retain any amount of believability. Is the world ready for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome reality tv?
“Sources said the reality star, who denied being preggers earlier this month, has already brokered a deal to announce the news on the cover of Us Weekly after she shopped the story to several celebrity magazines.
“MTV went into crisis mode after they found out,” said a source. “They’re trying to hide it because it would greatly affect the creative direction of the show.”
“Creative direction” = getting bombed on tequila/vodka/rum/Tilex? Why am I not cashing in on this? I wake up and pee “creative direction” and my blood is 90 proof by noon. I have so much “creative direction” flowing through my veins that I am not allowed to donate plasma, be an organ donor, operate heavy machinery or be responsible for another human being. So the morale of the story here is: “Cash in when your falling down drunk and you too can live the American Dream.”
Seriously this baby is going to need therapy. Lots of it.
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Images Via: Wenn.com