John Mayer reportedly dumped Katy Perry via email. I bet that country kitten Snugglepuff McSquintz is calling Perry up and offering to help her sort through her tender feelings via song.
Now this is from Us and regurgitated by Hollywood Life, so let’s consider it purely based on evidence from Mayer’s history of douchebaggery.
So what happened? According to an Us Weekly source, John Mayer quickly grew “tired of Perry’s hard partying and decided to pull the plug.” Adding more insult to injury, a friend tells the magazine that “he dumped her over email. She was furious and really hurt. She was into him, but he wasn’t feeling it.”
What is the appeal of John? It must be one of those mysteries of the universe that Mike Rowe should investigate. Like a spinoff of ‘Deadliest Catch’ and ‘Dirty Jobs’… ‘Dirtiest Catch.’
He’s just got “it”. I honestly think it’s a bit of a burden to him. He’s like that annoying guy you hated in Grade3 who used to pull your ponytail. When he looked deep into your eyes, you were done.