Beyonce Baby Demands Banned Parents From Visiting Their Own Babies

Beyonce went full DIVA and rented out the maternity ward at Lenox Hill Hospital. She had a team keeping everyone at bay including other new parents. I guess she expected other laboring women to cross their legs. It couldn’t possibly be due to hiding a screaming surrogate who doesn’t speak a word of English other than what she learned from watching “Jerry Maguire” – SHOW ME THE MONEY!

Security was tighter D-cup boob in a training bra. A new father of prematurely born twins was repeatedly banned from seeing his own babies. Beyonce’s bodyguards refused to let him into the neonatal intensive care unit where his newborns were placed for special treatments for their lungs.

Click HERE to see Beyonce’s correct baby name…

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Beyonce Gives Birth to Baby Blue Ivy Carter – UPDATE

Beyonce has given birth to a baby girl. I am guessing they are going to name it Tempurpedic thanks to the rumors that her entire pregnancy was a sham and she paid some non-English speaking foreigner carrying the petri-dish concocted kid in her EZ Bake Oven.

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Sienna Miller is Pregnant ?!

Sienna Miller will have to get a pregnant lady bikini to go yachting in Ibiza. New reports state that the princess of ho strollin’ is knocked up.

After hopping off Jude Law’s nanny philandering wagon and wedding band snatchin’ Balthazar Getty, Sienna has been dating Tom Sturridge. The rag states that a source (probably a part timer who works at Boots in Skegness) shared the news that the couple is expecting, but they aren’t getting married.

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Keri Russell Gives Birth to Baby Girl

I like to try and start every morning with some feel good story. Since we are fresh out of Ryan Gosling shirtless and Lindsay Lohan hasn’t farked anything up…yet…here is story about Keri Russell and babies. The mystery of the appeal of children still baffles me, but we’ll go with the majority that think babies are adorable and not at all miniature poop machines completely dependent on competent adults, cry when they don’t get their way and require truck load of gadgets, bottles, bibs and other paraphernalia. Ha, I’ll be damned! Just like Lindsay Lohan.

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Angelina Jolie is Pregnant, Leaves Brad Pitt After Jennifer Aniston’s Miscarriage?!

Anyway, Star (via Dlisted) has some WTF to make your afternoon vodka taste a bit bitter. The rag has an insider-type telling the tale of the time Brad had sexy times with Jennifer Aniston while they were married which resulted in baby that Aniston miscarried. Jolie became furious at the news that Pitt put a baby in someone else’s womb and walked out on him upon hearing the news. Perhaps she thought, like the rest of us, that Brad and Jen just sat around and braided each other’s hair.

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Teen Queen Pregnant, Secret Celeb Couple, Sex for Drugs :Blind Items

“Over New Years, this C list actress told her A/B list musician boyfriend that she is pregnant. The pregnancy would probably cause huge headlines and affect each of the star’s careers. Right now the two are debating whether to secretly go ahead with the pregnancy or to terminate it, but either way they want to keep it secret, mostly because of their age.” [Buzzfoto]

My Guess: Justin Bieber is knocking everyone up!

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Beyonce Has NOT Given Birth Yet

Beyonce is still pregnant with little Serta Memory Foam Gusset Carter.

The ‘Single Ladies’ singer was rumored to be ready to give birth at “any moment” just before the New Year. She reportedly reserved the delivery suites at a Manhattan hospital in preparation for the delivery. Click HERE for more on that bogus report…

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Beyonce Giving Birth TODAY ?!

Looks as if Beyonce will be losing that baby bump today – it is being reported that she will be checking into a NYC hospital to give birth as early as today! According to reports, the staff and security at St. Luke’s Roosevelt hospital in New York were informed that a ‘very high-profile patient’ would be checking in to give birth today – and that “VIP Patient” has booked half of an entire floor called the “Labor and Delivery Suite”. In fact, it’s the same suite that Alicia Keys delivered her son Egypt in last year.

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Lady Gaga Had an Abortion ?!

Imagine, if you will, what the worst day of Lady Gaga’s life might have been like. Maybe her MTV meat dress dried up into jerky. Maybe she forgot to leave the house without pants. Or maybe she lost one of her crazy hats. Nope – and as she makes perfectly clear in her new video “Marry the Night” that none of the above happened.

Lady Gaga’s latest music video debuted recently, and as Gaga had been teasing in the weeks before its arrival, depicts “one of the worst days of her life.” Mother Monster takes a bizarre trip to the hospital, performs ballet, dyes her hair, writhes naked in a bathtub like a scalded mermaid and dance, dance, dances in her new 14 minute video. The actual song doesn’t start until about the 8 minute mark in the video. Before that, Gaga does voice over for what are supposed to be semi-autobiographical scenes.

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Jessica Simpson’s $3M Dollar Baby

With a baby on the way and a booming career, Jessica Simpson has signed a very big deal with Weight Watchers to be their new spokeswoman… And you’ll never guess how much they’re paying her!

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