Blue Ivy Cater PHOTOS

Because Beyonce and Jay Z like to see me work on the weekends while I am trying to nurse a cheap vodka hangover feed starving orphans, the couple shared photos of Blue Ivy Carter.

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Halle Berry Wants Out of the US to Avoid Stalker

Halle Berry asked the courts to allow her and her young daughter to move to France with her new fiance Oliver Martinez. One reason for the move is due to the “Hollywood Stalker Robert Hoskins” sending her multiple death threats!

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Katy Perry and Russell Brand’s Divorce Finalized

Katy Perry and Russell Brand’s divorce is final! All that’s left to do is tough out the 6 month waiting period for divorces in California – then they will both be considered legally single! The exact terms of the breakup are confidential, all we know is that Brand filed for divorce from Katy last year due to irreconcilable differences. The former couple made it longer than most celebs, but who didn’t see this relationship ending?!

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Gisele Bundchen is the Yoko Ono of Football

Since the Bears didn’t make it to the Super Bowl because Jay Cutler once again has a sprained lady part posing as man part an injury, I am not as invested into the winner as other football fans. However, there is still some lingering boo-hoos going on.

Gisele Bundchen, wife of boiled broccoli – Tom Brady, made the mistake of thinking/speaking. After watching the Patriots lose the game, she she was caught on video blaming the team’s receivers.

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Beyonce and Jay-Z to Trademark Blue Ivy’s Name

Beyonce and Jay-Z have filed a trademark application to protect their daughter Blue Ivy‘s name. The couple lodged its petition at the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office on January 26th, just weeks after becoming parents – a new clothing line perhaps?

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Jackson Rathbone’s Girlfriend is Pregnant

The 100 Monkeys band member and cardboard cutout that is buried in the back of many Twihards’ closet is going to be a father.

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Beyonce Surfaces with Amazing Post Baby Body – PHOTO

Insert shock and awe. (Not really.) Beyonce has surfaced with a her post baby body looking remarkably unchanged. Well, her boobs are hitched a bit higher.

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Gisele Bundchen Blames Patriots Receivers for Super Bowl Loss – VIDEO

Gisele Bundchen is throwing shade at the Patriots receivers for a couple of incomplete passes that might have cost the Pats the game. Strike that. She isn’t throwing shade. She is throwing the New England team under the bus and then hitting the gas before stopping, putting it reverse and flooring it again.

After Tom Brady suffered a loss on the field, Gisele had a few choice four letter words for her husband’s co-workers…

“You (have) to catch the ball when you’re supposed to catch the ball,” she is heard saying. “My husband cannot [expletive] throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times.”

Wes Welker, Deion Branch and Aaron Hernandez all dropped passes during the game and it sounds like Gis will be crossing them off her Christmas card list.

Seriously. Gisele did her part in this. She activated the mass e-mail prayer network and made Tommy his bubble gum flavored protein shake. This is an injustice! How will he afford the new custom built treehouse complete with water slide that connects to his $20 million mansion? There is just too much injustice in the world!

Scarlett Johansson’s New Boyfriend

Is he a real life Madmen? After Scarlett Johansson‘s high profile fling with Sean Penn went south, much like her other relationships with actors, Scarlett has moved on to something a little less in the spotlight! Her new man is an advertising executive in New York City, named Nate Naylor.

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Elisabetta Canalis and ‘Jackass’ Star Steve-O Dating ?!

Where does one’s dating life go after George Clooney? It seems like that would be the pinnacle, and everything else would be “meh”… In the case of Elisabetta Canalis, the “meh” we speak of is ‘Jackass‘ star Steve-O. While many are puzzled by Canalis’ move from Clooney to Steve-O, insiders say it was Steve-O’s humor that caught her attention.

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