Joaquin Phoenix Returns to Letterman – VIDEOS

[Joaquin Phoenix on the Late Show with David Letterman – VIDEO]

Joaquin Phoenix had appeared to have marinated himself in Rogaine while slowly loosing grip on reality (or as my Aunt Yetta called him “That poor boy who is getting the retarded. You know, he has the horrid beard and was also crazy in ‘Gladiator’. GASP! Maybe he feels such guilt for killing Russell Crowe!). We have learned that it was all a ruse for his role in the flick ‘I’m Still Here.’

During his time in the Land of Six different kinds of crazy, he visited David Letterman. The interview spread across the net (click HERE to see his original interview with Letterman) and everyone joined my Aunt Yetta’s prayer circle for Joaquin. He has returned to Letterman to explain the interview.

[Joaquin Phoenix on the Late Show with David Letterman – VIDEO]

I am torn as to whether or not I will see the “documentary.” It seems like it is going to be a 2 hour long fart joke. Of course that would typically be up my alley being a no-heart blogger. Anyone else see it yet? Is it worth it?

Joaquin Phoenix ‘I’m Still Here’ Trailer – VIDEO

Joaquin Phoenix dipped himself in Rogaine and “retired” from acting to become the worst fake rapper the world has ever seen. Meanwhile, Casey Affleck was busy getting drunk and molesting the film crew. It’s real Oscar material. Below is the trailer for lukewarm mess “I’m Still Here.”

Did you waste nearly a full minute of your life listening to a Kill Bill reject talking about drops of water and Joaquin’s hair seducing you to attack it with a bottle of Rid and scissors? This budget flick hits theaters in a hobo village near you on September 10th.

I blame Ben Affleck for this. If he never would have hit it big with Matt Damon hunting good will then Casey never would have ridden his coattails to fame.

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Images Via: WENN.com

Casey Affleck Sexual Harassment Continues: Hookers and Back Molesting Edition

Either the Joaquin Phoenix documentary is going to be a masterpiece or it is going to be a sad reminder that Joaquin teetering on the edge of cokewhore crazy. It might be cost Casey Affleck and Joaquin millions as sexual harassment cases are landing in court.

The first claim was filed by a former producer for “I’m Still Here: The Lost Year of Joaquin Phoenix” filed a 19 page complaint against Casey , who is married to Summer Phoenix since 2006, that stated he was “hostile and aggressive” when she refused to spend the night with him. (Click HERE for more details on the first Affleck sexual harassment case.)

A second sexual harassment lawsuit has landed in court. The cinematographer, Magdalena Gorka, has filed a $2.25 million lawsuit in Los Angeles Superior Court. She claims that Casey subjected her to “routine instances of sexual harassment” including “lewd comments and suggested engaging in sexual activities along with suggestions she have sex with the Camera Assistant.” Her allegations further state that Casey got a case of the drunks and crawled in bed with her wearing only man-panties and t-shirt (I am hoping it was neon green and mesh).

“In mid-December 2008, Plaintiff traveled with other crew members to New York to shoot scenes involving Phoenix. Affleck and Phoenix decided not to put the crew up in a hotel, and the crew instead stayed overnight at Phoenix and Affleck’s apartment.

During the middle of the night, Plaintiff awoke to find Affleck lying in the bed next to her. Unbeknownst to Plaintiff, Affleck had entered the bedroom while she was asleep and crawled into the bed. When she woke up, Affleck was curled up next to her in the bed wearing only his underwear and a t-shirt. He had his arm around her, was caressing her back, his face was within inches of hers and his breath reeked of alcohol.

Plaintiff was shocked and repulsed because she did not know where he had touched her while she was sleeping or how long he had been there before she woke up.

Plaintiff immediately jumped up and told Affleck to get out of her bed. Affleck responded by asking “why?” Plaintiff said “because you are married and because you are my boss.” Affleck, undeterred, asked if Plaintiff “was sure.” Plaintiff said she was sure and insisted that he leave the room. Affleck left and slammed the door in anger.”

She then quit the project and later returned after another producer insisted the harassment would stop. (Spoiler alert….It didn’t.)

“For several weeks, Plaintiff tried to obtain work on a new project with no success. In January 2009, Plaintiff was contacted by a producer for the Project, Amanda White (“White”). White told Plaintiff that Affleck had requested she return to the Project. Plaintiff was wary about working with Affleck after his behavior in New York, but Plaintiff believed that another woman on the Project would create a safer working environment and deter Affleck and the others from harassing her further.

After receiving assurances that White would be present during all filming, Plaintiff agreed to return to the production. Over the next few months, Plaintiff was subjected to numerous incidents of outrageous and offensive conduct. She was subjected to a near daily barrage of sexual comments, innuendo and unwelcome advances by crew members, within the presence and with the active encouragement of Affleck.”

It gets better as transvestite prostitutes joined this sexual harassment rodeo. While shooting Joaquin’s first rap performance in Vegas, the decided to get some hookers and shoot some scenes back their hotel. Being that she is only mildly gullible, she went to the hotel to film and discovered it was just a big party and cited that “that Affleck orchestrated the shoot in the hotel suite for his own twisted personal gratification.” Then, in Costa Rica, Gorka claims that Casey and Joaquin locked themselves in her hotel room and were “engaging in sexual activities” with two other women. After that trip she quit for a second time.

Perhaps Casey should join the ‘House’ film crew as they too enjoy sex in trailers and knife throwing according another lawsuit. (Click HERE to read about the ‘House’ harassment lawsuit.

Joaquin Phoenix Mockumentary Features Poop, Male Nudity and Oral Sex

Poop? Oral Sex? Full-frontal male nudity? No kittens, it’s not the Dame’s Annual Summer Kick-Off Party, but rather what you will find if you care to view the Joaquin Phoenix Mockumentary: “I’m Still Here: The Lost Year of Joaquin Phoenix.”

While some distributors are still speculating about the authenticity of Phoenix’s actions, we showed you photographic evidence last week that the Casey Affleck directed documentary was a total hoax (CLICK HERE to see the incriminating pictures).

However, turns out the movie is a little unsettling for some people due to the graphic nature of some of the scenes.

Via The LA Times:

“Several buyers said the film overflowed with Hollywood debauchery, including more male frontal nudity than you’d find in some gay porn films and a stomach-turning sequence in which someone feuding with Phoenix defecates on the actor while he’s asleep.”

There are also scenes that show Phoenix snorting cocoaine and receiving oral sex from a publicist.

I predict the rights will be purchased by CBS and the title changed to CSI: Douchebag.

Joaquin Phoenix Mockumentary For Sale, Hidden Mic Photo

The, um, much anticipated mockumentary chronicling Joaquin Phoenix’s descent from acting into the world of homeless hip-hop is currently for sale. Something tells me this will be on the Loehman’s Bargain Table tomorrow morning.

Directed by Casey Affleck, Phoenix’s documentary was recently shown to Hollywood Big Wigs in the hopes of find distribution.

Via Deadline New York:

“I’m told that the film made its debut in a private lunchtime screening at WME headquarters last week for buyers — including Harvey Weinstein — who were sworn to secrecy. WME is selling the film, and it may only take a couple of days to reach a deal. I hear the agency and the distributors intend to keep the mock’s content under wraps for as long as they can for maximum shock value.”

The mock supposedly reveals whether or not Phoenix’s decision to leave acting to pursue his dream of becoming a hip-hop artist was real. In case you’ve forgotten, Joaquin grew a beard, ignored David Letterman during an interview, and later performed a hip hop number that ended with him falling off the stage into a crowd of people in a Las Vegas nightclub.

Shortly after Phoenix had appeared to fall off the deep end and media pointed the finger at his drug and substance problems. It was heartbreaking to watch as he appeared to be traveling a troubled path that took his brother’s life. Joaquin was even the one to make the panicked 911 call as River Phoenix suffered slipped away after an overdose of heroin and coke. However, as The Dame was digging through photos, she came across a picture revealing a mic hidden under Phoenix’s tie (see below) the same day he made his foray into rap.

So take that tidbit as you will, but I sincerely hope a “mockumentary” is not what is being sold. Seems tacky and cold. Lets hope it is more aimed at the media being a bunch of gullible whores.

What? Truth hurts baby!

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Images Via: WENN.com

Joaquin Phoenix and Lindsay Lohan Bar Hook Up

joaquin-phoenix-shaved-pic.jpg

Free clinics everywhere are on red alert this morning as it is being reported that Joaquin Pheonix and Lindsay Lohan are hookin up again. But this time, they’re throwing in a little Ryan Phillippe for funsies.

Excuse me. I feel the urge to brush my teeth.

Lohan and Pheonix reportedly were knocking scuffed-up boots back in 2006 and 2007 and now both were spotted at Hollywood hot-spot Voyeur this Sunday evening getting cozy enough for antibiotics.

Via Why Fame:

“According to several sources, the two of them were spotted exiting Voyeur in LA on Sunday night and Lindsay was soon off to finish her evening at Voyeur with Ryan Phillippe and Joaquin Phoenix. Ryan Phillippe is not the person to be worried about. For a change, Joaquin Phoenix is.”

All three of them are in need of a career boost, which lends me to think that’s all they were trying to do.

Pheonix recently reemerged from his beard and is looking normal again-if hanging out at Hollywood nightclubs despite the fact that your older brother OD’d outside of one-is normal.

As for Phillippe…I haven’t seen or heard from him since he started tarnishing his girlfriend (Abbie Cornish‘s) career.

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Images Via: WENN.com

Joaquin Phoenix Goes Crazy While Buying a Cape

joaquin phoenix

There is nothing wrong with cape shopping. Batman, Superman and Elvis all have to get new threads at some point. However, Joaquin Phoenix has been acting nuttier than squirrel shiz lately. He claimed to have ditched acting for a career in rap, started wearing EZ Combs and waged a war against personal hygiene. (Which begs me to ask the question why is bathing the first to go when one goes crazy?) Phoenix also made a bizarre appearance on David Letterman awhile back (click HERE to see the crazy Joaquin Phoenix on David Letterman Video.)

Most people are claiming it is just an act for some Casey Affleck documentary. However, I am finding that a hard sell. Casey is married to Joaquin’s sister, Summer Phoenix. I highly doubt that she would let Casey film and make documentary of her brother’s downward spiral. Either way, lets hope he gets help.

Per National Enquirer Via Celebitchy:

It’s no hoax, folks – Joaquin Phoenix is one nutty fruitcake! The looney-toony star, dressed like a homeless derelict and muttering to himself nonstop, was spotted pawing through racks of clothes at Red Balls on Melrose, where he finally grabbed a black velvet cape, black trousers and mesh top, ducked into a dressing room – and began belting rap songs.

Emerging in his new outfit, he told the salesgirl he’d be wearing it home. Nervous, she asked: “What form of payment will you be using today, sir?”… then nearly jumped out of her skin when Phoenix banged down a wad of cash and yelled: “MONEY!”

Said an eyewitness: “He mumbled madly while the girl counted out his change and offered him a bag for his own clothes. Joaquin never said a word, rushed out of the store wearing his velvet cape – and dumped his old clothes in the nearest trash can!”

Maybe he was off to seduce Lindsay Lohan, she strikes me as someone who loves a ho in a cape.

Image Via: Johnny Louis/wenn.com

Billy Bob Thorton Crazy CBC Interview – Video

[Billy Bob Thorton CBC Interview Video]

Billy Bob Thorton was on Canada’s public CBC Radio and made himself look crazy. He and his band, The Boxmasters, were on the show to promote their music and Billy went off the deep end during the interview.

In the introduction of the band the DJ mentioned that Thorton was an actor and a screenwriter. He then went right into music and album related questions. No other mention of acting or film was made, but he was still miffed. He gave a Joaquin Phoenix like interview answering simple questions with the retort “I don’t know.”

D: You guys formed in the last couple of years right?
Thorton: I don’t know what you are talking about.
DJ: How so?
Thorton: I don’t know what you mean by that.
DJ: When did the band form?
Thorton: I’m not sure what that means.
DJ: Oh..well..when did you first start playing together?
Thorton: (silence)

Finally his fellow band member spoke stating that they started playing together about 2 years ago. The interview continued and Billy refused to speak. Finally the interviewer asked about their tour with Willie Nelson. They had been in the states with Nelson for a few weeks touring and the crazy went on.

DJ: What have you learned from Willie Nelson, Billy Bob?
Thorton: (Long pause) I never met him.
DJ: (Laughs) Are you being ironic or being serious?
Thorton: “ I don’t really know him.”
DJ: You’ve never Willie Nelson?
Thorton: I talked to him once. Nice guy.

The madness continued on until Billy scolded the guy for mentioning he was an actor after being asked if he was passionate about music. His band mates sat there embarrassed and were clueless as to what to do. The DJ went on to handle the situation as best as he could.
Egads. I wonder if his band is weighing whether or not his talent and fame are worth it if he is going to diva out in public.

Celebrity Quotes: Gwyneth Paltrow

“Hmm … maybe to go live in the projects for a few years to get some authenticity, maybe.”

Gwyneth Paltrow on Joaquin Phoenix’s rap career.

Via: People, Getty

Joaquin Phoenix Attacks a Fan – Video

Just when you think Joaquin Phoenix has gone off the deep end, he shows you there are still a few more feet left for him to dive…literally.

While ‘performing’ at LIV nightclub at the Fountainbleau in Miami, Phoenix began exchanging insults with a paid actor fan near the front row.

Via TMZ.com:

“Phoenix [told] the heckler, ‘I’ve got millions of dollars in my f**king bank account. What do you got?’”

I am guessing the heckler retorted “self respect and a working shower” because Phoenix then jumped from the stage and began punching the man who has suspiciously not yet pressed charges. Someone may want to remind Phoenix that the money he earned making “Walk the Line” was blown on beard combs and rubber-bands for his hair.

Naturally while all this was happening, Phoenix’s BFF Casey Affleck was in the wings filming his documentary. Not wanting to chip a nail on his recently manicured hands, Affleck kept filming as opposed to rushing in to help, adding even more fuel to the theory that Joaquin is merely doing this for sport.