Jessica Simpson Writing a Lover’s Tell All About Tony Romo, John Mayer and Jude Law

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Hold the phone…she and Jude Law actually hooked up? I mean, everyone has hooked up with Jude Law, but Jessica Simpson? She does fill his requirements of having breasts and a pulse.

Anyway, according to Star Magazine Jessica Simpson is writing a book that will detail the sordid sex affairs she turned to after divorcing Nick Lachey. Tales included in this rumored tell all would include details about each man’s fetish. Apparently John Mayer is a swinger (big surprise) and Tony Romo loves would-be strippers (another shocker).

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Per Star Via Jezebel:

“Jessica Simpson is planning to write a multi-million dollar tell-all, which will spill details about her ex-boyfriends and her “love luggage” — her weight.

~Tony Romo liked her to dress up as a cheerleader, but with garter belts, stockings and high heels. And he’d bring food into the bedroom.

~John Mayer would talk baby talk in bed and was always begging her to experiment — he wanted her to go to sex parties “just to look.”

Jess might reveal how she fell for Dane Cook while filming Employee Of The Month “when he made her laugh so hard he made her pee her pants on the set.” And! A source says: “She’ll probably write about one wild night she had with Jude Law in New York, and how close she came to being his baby mama.”

Creepy Papa Joe would explode from the grits and dollar signs if Jessica was pregnant with Jude Law’s baby. Speaking of exploding grits and dollar signs, Us Weekly also reports that John Mayer has nude photos of Jessica Simpson on his cell still. If that isn’t creepy enough for you, a source said that he also showed them to his friends.

While the Jude Law slumming it angle does surprise me a tiny bit, the only thing I’d find remotely interesting is the confirmation that Mayer made her dress up as Mister Rogers and call him Trolley.

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Image Via: wenn.com, Getty, Star

The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus Trailer – Video

Here it is kittens. The first trailer for “The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus” has hit the web. Of course I scooped it up for you. However, like the trailer for “The Lovely Bones” this probably won’t last long so enjoy it while you can.

“The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus” was Heath Ledger’s last film. He sadly passed away while making the movie and Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell and Jude Law each stepped in to finish the job. Lets hope it enjoys much success and people enjoy the work for more than just the obvious reason.

Jude Law’s Baby Momma Pregnant Bikini Photos ‘Accidentally’ Hit Net

And by accidentally, I mean on purpose.

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Jude Law’s knocked up one night stand, Samantha Burke, took some photos of herself in a bikini with her cell phone and sent that shiz to TMZ. I believe this is standard practice in the book “Famewhore’s Field Guide to Exploiting Your Famous Spawn.”

I gotta give the girl credit, she can set the timer on her phone and get into her best 5 Dolla Holla pose while wearing heels.

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Image Via: TMZ

Jude Law Knocks-Up Mystery Woman-UPDATED

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I don’t know what to make of the man-whore that is Jude Law. Sometimes he is smoking hot and sometimes he looks like the guy I once worked with who cleaned his ears with his car keys. Nonetheless, some women, like Sienna Miller, find him hot. And others, like Sadie Frost, like to make babies with him.

As you recall, Jude and Sadie were married and have three children. Then reports of infidelity brewed and the marriage ended. Not too long after, Jude began banging British sleeping bag Sienna Miller. The two were quite serious before Jude got caught playing naughty with his kids’ nanny.

And now, ironically just before press begins for his new ‘Sherlock Holmes’ film, Jude’s people want the world to know he has gone and knocked-up a mystery woman.

Via Entertainment Weekly:

“Jude Law can confirm that, following a relationship last year, he has been advised that he is to be the father of a child due in the fall of this year. Mr. Law is no longer in a relationship with the individual concerned but he intends to be a fully supportive part of the child’s life. This is an entirely private matter and no other statements will be made.”

Thank you as I wasn’t aware we were looking for any information about him in the first place.

UPDATE:

It seems the good folks at TMZ have uncovered the Baby Mama! Samantha Burke, an actress/model, is carrying Jude Law’s fourth seed.

Via TMZ:

Burke’s attorneys just sent us the following statement:

“Ms. Burke can confirm that she did in fact have a relationship with Mr. Law and that she has informed Mr. Law that she is expecting his child later this fall. Since informing Mr. Law of the pregnancy, he has been nothing but responsive and supportive of Ms. Burke and the pregnancy.”

Other tabolids are reporting that Law knocked-up the younger sister of his “Sherlock Holmes” co-star Rachel McAdams-Kayleen. However, after the release of the statement above, I am sure we can cross her off the short list.

Image Via: LA Times

Brad Pitt Caught Cheating On Angelina Jolie With Nanny

It seems there is trouble in the un-wedding bliss of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. According to the latest issue of Star Magazine, Papa Pitt was caught pulling a Jude Law (and I am not talking about making a crappy movie). Star’s source claims that Pitt was discovered giving one of his kids’ hot little nannies a rubdown…while she lay on a bed in the room of twins Knox Leon and Vivienne!

Unfortunately for Pitt, he forgot to close the bedroom door. He also seems to have forgotten that his baby-mama, Angelina Jolie was also at home at the time, as she is the one who caught the two!

Via Star:

“[Angelina] completely flipped out. She got right in Brad’s face, screaming at the top of her lungs, and told the nanny to get out of her house and never come back!”

Guess this means one of the other seven nannies is going to pull double-duty until Angie and Brad can find a replacement.

Is it just me, or do you also miss the old Angelina that would have ripped off her shirt, grabbed some knives from the kitchen, and joined in on the fun? The Ange who claimed she was always up for a little competition?

According to Star, Angelina also let Pitt have it by slapping him across his face. Unfortunately, unless she ripped off his shirt to expose the same chest he sported in “Fight Club” after the slap, I am uninterested.

Sherlock Holmes Gay in Guy Ritchie’s Film

In Guy Ritchie’s upcoming film, super sleuth “Sherlock Holmes” will be portrayed as a gay man. Who knew? The fictional character famous for wearing his deerstalker hat, puffing on a pipe and solving mysteries with his trusted sidekick, will be shown sharing a bed with his very close friend Dr. Watson, in addition to some man-on-man wrestling.

Per Queerstalker:

“We’re two men who happen to be room-mates, wrestle a lot and share a bed. It’s badass.” says Robert Downey Jr. who plays Holmes.

“Guy wanted to make this about the relationship between Watson and Holmes. They’re both mean and complicated.” adds Jude Law, who plays Dr. Watson.

Last week he was ordered to re-shoot his “unrealistic” Sherlock Holmes movie. The 40-year-old ex husband of Madonna was reportedly left fuming after Warner Brothers head honchos told him several scenes didn’t reach their expectations. Ritchie has been forced to call back cast, including Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law to remake five weeks worth of footage.

I’m just wondering where the Sherlock Holmes lifestyle choice is coming from. I’ve read quite a few Sherlock stories and never once have I picked up on anything like this. If this is done right, this could be really interesting and might even be Oscar-worthy! Hope you don’t let us down Ritchie!

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Images Via: Flyent

Sexy New Pictures of RDJ in Sherlock Holmes

Well, actually sexy pictures of Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law. But whose counting?? I like guys in period outfits, and this one does not disappoint in the slightest!!

I love that Robert Downey’s career has rebounded. Thank you less drugs, good rehab, “Ironman” and “Tropic Thunder“! Now this means we will have more face-time with the actor, who at 43, is still highly good looking and hitting his stride.

There are also some sweet new pictures of Rachel McAdams–in a gorgeous pink dress–from the “Sherlock Holmes” movie. Rachel is playing Irene Addler, who is seen in the books as an intellectual equal to Holmes, and escapes him before he can trap her. Since there has been little to no information on the movie personna of the character, we will have to go on this for the time being. I, for one, will be willing to bet that a little bit of sexual tension and romance could occur between Addler and Holmes.

Sherlock Holmes” is to be released this coming November, and has Robert as the lead, and Law as Watson. The plot is still ambiguous–being stated from IMDB as:

Detective Sherlock Holmes (Downey Jr.) and his stalwart partner Watson (Law) engage in a battle of wits and brawn with a nemesis whose plot is a threat to all of England.

Me thinks I am going to have to do some recon about Sherlock Holmes in preparation for this movie. And to end this post, an older, hotter, gratuitous picture of RDJ, shirtless in the role. *rowr*!

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Images Via: IMBD

Robert Downey Jr. Set His Crotch on Fire

Yes, you read that correct. No, I am not drunk behind the laptop again. Robert Downey Jr. managed to set his crotch on fire on the set of Guy Ritchie’s latest project, a Sherlock Holmes movie. Jude Law will be getting a medal of honor for saving his co-stars crotch. Downey is the leading man in the film playing the infamous detective. Jude is doting sidekick, Dr. Watson. Robbie was in the middle of filming a scene when he set the pipe he was smoking down onto the arm of a chair. It then fell onto his lap and caught on fire.

A source said: “Robert leaped from his armchair and jumped up and down, slapping his crotch and howling, ‘Oh God, I’m on fire!’ Robert had placed the pipe on a plate on the arm of the chair, but it overbalanced and plopped into his lap, scattering lit tobacco all over his pants.”

Law leapt into action and quickly extinguished the flames. Lucky for Robert, a prop flower vase was filled with water and Jude was able to put out the fire. He was not hurt thanks to his costar’s ability to extinguish crotch fires.

Source: Monsters and Critics, Photos Via: Big Pictures, Matrix