Katie Holmes Suffering from Exhaustion – Photos

Poor Katie Holmes is looking like a reheated mess complete with herpes flair up.

Holmes has been working hard to keep Suri Cruise in sunglass and footwear that cost more than my first car. She has been doing two shows of “All My Sons”on a daily basis and filling the role of single parent while Tom Cruise is off gallivanting around pimping his latest attempt at redemption, “Valkyrie.” Meanwhile, Katie looks like she wandered out of concentration camp.

She exited her evening show at the Schoenfeld Theatre in Manhattan after celebrating her 30th birthday this past week. She was sporting blisters on her feet, scabs from her latest flair up and she looked as though she hadn’t slept in days. The Daily Mail claims that her health is coming into question.

Buck up baby. When you hand over soul to Xenu (which is basically Tom wearing lifts and a leather jacket) you have to pay the price. So what if you look like you just took a whores bath in a TJ Max bathroom? As my father would say, “It’s nothing a shot of whiskey and some Windex won’t take care of!”

What Others Said:

Socialite’s Life- “It’s important to set aside time to stop and eat the cupcakes. I would have said “smell the roses,” but it’s not nearly as filling or delicious.”

Images Via: Splash

Katie Holmes New Face Of Miu Miu

Katie Holmes will now be the face that shills Prada. Holmes landed the Miu Miu campaign. She joins Lindsay Lohan, Kirsten Dunst and Johnny Depp’s partner Vanessa Paradis in the lineage of celebs to front for the label. The ads featuring her are due out for the Spring/Summer ad campaign.

[Click Thumbnails for a Larger Image]

Source and Images Via: People / OffTheRack

Tom Cruise Admits He is a Crazed Idiot

During an interview Tom Cruise talked about his crazy couch jumping assault on Oprah’s couch and his over the top antics trying to convince us that Katie Holmes was brain washed by Scientologists.

“There are things that I could have done better,” he confesses in his suite at the Beverly Hills Hotel. “I could have handled things better. I was surprised at the criticism but it brought everyone closer together: Katie’s entire family and my family. Going through that stuff is not pleasant and I think it hit an extreme, but Kate’s a very sure and confident and strong woman. She gets it, you know.”

He also stated that he plans on impregnating her Holmes again. Poor girl.

“We’ll have more children, I’m saying this, but Kate’s not here! She’s working and we’re enjoying this time right now. It’s very precious, we don’t get this time back. That’s why when Suri was born we all just really shut down everything for months, to be with Suri and the kids.”

The title the reporter gave the story was: “I’ve made mistakes”, admits Tom Cruise as he makes his comeback” I am guessing he paid for that title. I don’t know what kind of “comeback” he is after. Honey…you are not Britney Spears. You are a dusty old fart and know you have a creepy uncle vibe. It’s over. Maybe Katie will bring you Jello cups in the nursing home.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Secret Revealed

At first glance of the above photo I though, “What a handsome gay couple!” Then I realized it was Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Ooops.

The secret of how Tom and Katie met has been let out of the bag. Tom was asked about how they met and refused to answer stating that it was “personal” and just between him and Katie. Hello! Magazine claims to have the story.

“On how they met: it was a MI3 audition

So, exactly how did it happen? Tom and 29-year-old Katie seldom talk about how they met, preferring to keep such personal stories sacred between them. So, on the occasion of their anniversary on 18 November, here’s the true story of their modern-day fairytale.
Back on 11 April 2005, Katie flew from NY to LA to audition for a possible role in the Tom Cruise movie, Mission: Impossible III However, after she met Tom, the movie became the farthest thing from her mind. “The chemistry between us was instantaneous,” she later explained. “If ever there was love at first sight, that was it. Tom was the most lethally attractive man I have ever met.”

His intellect, his drive, his sense of humour… his good looks – Katie said she was bowled over by all of it. As it happened, he felt the same way about her. “She is an absolutely spectacular woman,” is how he put it. In fact, the two spent so much time savouring each other’s company, they didn’t even discuss the movie.”

So Katie puts out on the first date. That’s how this madness came to be? I was picturing Xenu impregnating Tommy Girl’s mommy 46 years ago then giving the gift of the Pod People Queen to Tom in a ceremonial sacrifice when Katie became suitable.

Katie Holmes NOT Pregnant with a Boy

While Jennifer Aniston is busy trying to get knocked up with John Mayer’s twins, Katie Holmes is already pregnant. So the magazines want you to believe.

The latest issue of OK! Magazine is emblazoned with the title, “Baby Brother for Suri!” Notice how there is no claim Katie is already pregnant? Clever wording. Tom Cruise and Katie are planning on buying popping out a little boy for Suri to play with at the request of Connor.

Nicole Kidman stated that her and Tom’s adoptive son wants a little brother. Because he is already playing third fiddle. And Tom has been trying to knock up Holmes for awhile. However, Katie is more focused on her acting endeavors.

“Katie and Tom very much want another baby,” a friend of the couple tells OK!. “There may be no better time than now for Katie to get pregnant again and absolutely nothing would make Tom happier.”

A male offspring from the Overlord of Scientology? Suri will get thrown back in the basement while Tom takes the boy to Pride Rock circa “The Lion King” to bestow the new prince of short man syndrome.

What Others Said:

Celeb News Wire - “When Connor sat his adoptive mom and his stepmom down to present his request that one of their wombs be filled with a teeny little baby penis, Nicole screamed, “No, I can’t! I can’t take another nine months without Botox! I won’t do it! You do it, Katie, it’s your turn. Tom’s paying you way more than he paid me anyway. It’s your duty.”

Source: OK! Magazine]

Katie Holmes: Celebrity Fashion Disaster

What the hell is Katie Holmes wearing? Is that stirrup pants paired with strappy sandals? Please God, tell me she is auditioning for a role as a Midwestern soccer mom from 1988.

I get it Katie. Tom isn’t around so you can wear something other than flats. But for the love of Gucci… don’t even try to bring the stirrup pant back. All she is missing is an oversized Tweety Bird shirt.

Photos Via: Splash News Online