Lady Gaga Competes With President Obama For Facebook Fan Record

Lady Gaga and President Obama don’t often travel in the same circles, but they’re the top competitors in a heated popularity contest to be the first living person to reach 10 million fans on Facebook. Early Friday, Obama had the lead by about 30k, but Facebook’s “monster” constituency picked up the pace in support of “Mother Monster,” as Gaga quickly surged past Obama. As of Friday afternoon, the pop star has reached 9,162,832 with the Commander-in-Chief trailing at 9,122,063.

Per CNN:

Obama’s page, which is run by the group Organizing for America, includes photographs of his recent Gulf Coast visit and links to speeches from news conferences. His page lists the president’s interests as “basketball, writing, spending time w/ kids” and says his favorite books include The Bible, Toni Morrison’s “Song of Solomon” and Shakespeare’s tragedies.

Lady Gaga’s page lists upcoming concerts and includes a biographical article describing how the 24-year-old pop star, who played piano by ear as a toddler, grew into a theatrical performer who wows the masses with flashy performances in international concert tours. “I’m just trying to change the world one sequin at a time,” she says in the posted story.

Who will win the race to 10 million? Only time will tell, though the King of Facebook is likely to remain Michael Jackson, who holds the #1 spot with nearly 13.5 million fans on the social network which boasts over 400 million users.

Which side are YOU on? Lady Gaga or President Obama?

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Images Via: WENN.com

Al Gore Gets a Happy Ending After All

Al Gore is a nasty beast and tried to score himself a happy ending while getting a massage at Hotel Lucia late October of 2006. A random woman took her story the National Enquirer and claimed that he was making sexual advances.

Via NY Daily:

“According to the police report, Gore went under the alias “Mr. Stone” at the upscale hotel. The massage therapist said Gore asked for an abdominal massage, according to a transcript of the interview released by police. The masseuse said Gore began to moan during his appointment, insisted that she go lower, and grabbed her hand and guided it to his pubic area. She later claimed Gore tried to have sex with her and began to embrace her before she wriggled out of his grasp.”

The now 54 year old woman then canceled all appointments with detectives shortly after the incident. Her attorney also gave the side eye and nixed a meeting that was to be held in January to settle the case. No charges were ever brought against the former vice president and all accusations have been dismissed.

Now, excuse me while I go dip myself in Purell and fight off nightmares.

UPDATE: Here is the woman’s side of the story. Warning, it will make you vomitious and limp for a week.

“I was taught that a massage of the adductors could cause an involuntary erection,” she said, later, for some reason, adding, “I even voted for him in the last election, although in truth I was more accurately voting against Bush…. When I began doing the requested abdominal area he became vocal with muffled moans, etc. He began demanding that I go lower and massaging on the abdominal area. I was shocked. He further insisted and acted angry, becoming verbally sharp and loud. I went into much deeper shock as I realized it appeared he was demanding sexual favors.”

Describing herself as a Licensed Massage Therapist, the woman recounted a story of Gore progressing from moaning loudly during a massage, to launching a crazed attack, before breaking it off. He attempted to lure her into the bedroom where he threw himself on top of her, it was also alleged. The woman said his behavior was angry and described that she felt like she was dancing “on the edge of a razor.”

“He bellowed at me… just scared the (bleep) out of me,” she said. “He was moaning, groaning, moving in a very suggestive way.”

After first being rebuffed, Gore tried another tactic, according to the woman, “pleading for the release of his second chakra” — a euphemism for sexual activity, she claimed.
Instead, the woman said she tried a pressure point hoping it would make him sleepy.
When the session was over, the woman said she left the room to wash her hands. But as she was breaking down the massage table, Gore came over and “caressed my back, and buttocks and breasts.”

She said, “I squirmed to try to get out of his grasp telling him to stop.”

She told him he was a “crazy sex poodle,” to which he giggled.

The woman claims she then distracted Gore – described as extremely overweight – with chocolates! Then she says, he opened a small bottle of Grand Marnier, to wash them down.

“He then forced an open mouth kiss on me. I pushed back and said, ‘Stop it. You’re being way too frisky.’ I was distressed and shocked and terrified,” the massage therapist told police, reading from a prepared statement. I saw he was determined to have a sexual act with me.”

As Gore kept trying to have sex with her, the woman said: “I told him I was sorry to disappoint him and he would just have to take matters into his own hands that night. He pleaded, grabbed me… tongue kissed me… rubbed my buttocks with his hand and fingers and rubbed himself against my crotch saying, ‘You know you want to do it.’”

She claimed she managed to break away from Gore and leave the hotel.

At home, the woman “took a long, long warm shower trying to wash off the (laughter) unwanted touching and the trauma and I brushed my teeth for a long time to get out the Grand Marnier and Al Gore’s tongue and germs out of my mouth,” she told police.

In a moment reminiscent of the Bill Clinton / Monica Lewinsky scandal, the woman said she also noticed stains on the front of her pants. “I wondered if it was soap or bodily fluids from Gore pushing up against me repeatedly,” she said.

Those pants were saved in a bank safe deposit box, along with a chocolate bar with his fingerprints as evidence, she says.

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Images Via: WENN.com, AP

Barack Obama’s Jay Leno Jokes – Video

[Barack Obama 2010 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner – Video]

It’s no secret that I team Craig Ferguson and didn’t the Jay Leno/Conan O’Brien war didn’t really bother me because I was focused on the Robot Skeleton Army. However, if I had to choose, I would totally do Coco. Apparently President Barack Obama feels the same way.

[Barack Obama 2010 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner – Video]

During his speech at the 2010 White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner on Saturday, Obama ripped on Jay Leno as he sat just a few feet away.

Bush Wipes Hand on Clinton – Video

Ladies and gentleman…the former President of the United States…

While in Haiti former President George Bush was shaking hands with the survivors and refugees in Port Au Prince. After coming in contact with several people, Bush wiped his hand on Bill Clinton.

I wouldn’t be surprised if this wipe and run wasn’t followed by George stating: “I was told there was going to be a Chuck E. Cheese here.”

Barack Obama on David Letterman – Full Video

[Barack Obama on David Letterman - Full Video Via: Ilovepwnage]

Typically on these late night talk shows you have some A-Lister shilling their movie followed by a C-lister or animal tamer willing to pimp anything. Last night President Barack Obama took up both spots and was David Letterman’s only guest.

Obama mentioned the health care reform issue that is tearing most Americans support in him. He also had some snarky quips of his own when it came to the subject of Jimmy Carter accusing South Carolina Rep. Joe Wilson, of being a racist.

“I think it’s important to realize that I was actually black before the election. One of the things that you sign up for in politics is that folks yell at you,” the president said, noting that “whenever a president tries to bring about significant changes, particularly during times of economic unease, there is a certain segment of the population that gets very riled up.”

Top Ten Reasons Obama Agreed to Be on The Late Show

10. Heard the lady with the heart-shaped potato was gonna be here.
9. Thought it would be fun to watch someone else get heckled.
8. Something to do with that whole Cash For Clunkers deal.
7. Every president since Teddy Roosevelt has done it.
6. Someone offers you 600 bucks, you take it ladies and gentlemen.
5. We told him Megan Fox would be here.
4. Needed some time to hang out before check-in time at his hotel.
3. I have no idea.
2. Said yes, without thinking, like Bush did with Iraq.
1. Wanted to congratulate Dave on the big Emmy win.

Barack Obama Calls Kanye West a Jackass – Video

Here we have more of the Kanye West shiz-storm. President Barack Obama has declared him a “jackass” and I think this is good enough to have him deported to Canada. It will do us all a favor and simulatenously be someone else’s problem. Plus Barack needs to put a quarter in the swear jar.

Seriously though, I cannot stand the man but Taylor Swift, Kanye West and Obama all need to sit down, get some mojitos and make nice over some chicken taquitos.

Celebrity Quotes: Barack Obama

president-obama-throwing-first-pitch-at-all-star-game

“I’m a White Sox fan, my wife thinks I look cute in this jacket. So, why not?”

President Barack Obama at All Stars Game

President Barack Obama Checks Out 16 Year Old Girl, Mayara Tavares – Photo

barack-obama-checking-out-a-16-year-old-girl

President Barack Obama was snapped by photographers checking out the assets on a 16 year old girl. Mayara Tavares is the teen who seems to have captured the gaze of Obama. Everyone has their thongs in a bunch over this bum peeking incident.

I am not sure why. At least not in a creepy R. Kelly kind of way. If he is indeed checking out the girl in would insinuate he is an average male and while he should keep his bum peeking down to a minimum in public, it’s not as though he grabbed her and called her sugar bits while offering to show her his oval office if she showed him hers. He also could have been looking at a penny on the ground. Who knows. Secondly, this is hard the first presidential horn-dog moment. Two words for you…Bill Clinton.

Image Via: TF

Heather Graham Used Witchcraft to Get Obama Elected

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Here is something to put the WTF? in your day. Heather Graham is taking credit for Barack Obama’s presidential election win. Yup, gonna need some more tea and strumpets chased with acid to understand the method behind this madness.

According to the ever so entertaining National Enquirer, Heather claimed that she and a couple friends get together to cast spells and burn stuff.

“I have this group of friends and we get together and we call ourselves The Goddesses and we wish for things and then a lot of amazing things have happened to all of us,” Heather admitted.

“We burn things — honoring the elements of earth, wind, air and fire. You do spells. We did this thing where we were calling on the wind and the air and this whole storm started on my roof. It was amazing and … empowering.”

So let me get this straight….she and her friends probably watch some “Grey’s Anatomy” on Thursday night, follow it with setting some stuff on fire and then head up to the roof and dance around trying to make it storm?

“My friends really wanted Obama to be elected so we all did a spell and then he got elected,” she divined. “It worked out good.”

I bet Obama is super thankful that Heather was setting fire to trees while wearing nothing but flag themed panties and dancing around with sparklers in her hair in the name of Barack.

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Images Via: Wenn

Exclusive Interview: Dr. Francis Palmer, Author of “The Palmer Code”

On Thursday, I had the opportunity to sit down and chat with Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Dr. Francis Palmer. Dr. Palmer recently released a book titled: “What’s Your Number? The Palmer Code: The Whole You Approach to Personal Transformation.” Unfortunately for me, this interview did not include free Botox as I had hoped, but Dr. Palmer did let me in on a few secrets of the beauty industry.

First of all, it’s important to know that Dr. Palmer knows his stuff. He has performed his nip/tuck magic on well over 20,000 patients in both Beverly Hills and London. However, he really stressed to me that his book is, “Painfully honest,” about beauty and teaches people not to reply on plastic surgery as a means to be pretty. He explained,

“Roughly 2% of the population gets plastic surgery…this book is meant for everyone.”

Well, more like it’s for anyone who has $13.00 and some change to pay for it. But, that is a far cry from the thousands you would spend on a tummy-tuck.

The Palmer Code” consists of a number between one and one hundred. This number is a result of different out and inner self factors that determine how others view you. Someone with a low number is viewed as unattractive and someone with a high number scores in the high nineties to one hundred. There are many factors that make up your number, but as you can imagine, your outer number is based on your physical presentation: your looks, height, weight, hygiene, clothing, and make-up.

However, you number isn’t a constant, explains Dr. Palmer:

“Numbers fluctuate from moment to moment.”

For example, on a red carpet, celebs are at their best looking thanks to the help of professional stylists and make-up artists. But when they’re home, have the flu, are caught by the paps without make-up on, etc. their number drops. Angelina Jolie can score a 100 one night, and be an 85 the following morning. Unfortunately for the rest of us, if we score a 100 one night, we are likely looking more like a 50 in the morning!

Palmer also expressed to me that was it viewed as beautiful is pretty consistent from one culture to the next. According to the good doc, nearly all men like curvy women and full lips. Trends that say otherwise come and go, “fads are not persistent.”

Since I look out for all of you, and because I was morbidly curious, I decided to test Dr. Palmer’s theory and spring the ‘Model Myth’ on him, as I like to call it. If what he was saying is true, then why are models often curveless?

“High fashion is not the same as true beauty,” explained Dr. Palmer. “Models are hired because they are photogenic and can morph themselves into the demand of the designer.”

Hmmm….So what you’re saying is someone like Uma Thurman isn’t as attractive?

“Uma Thurman scores maybe in the 80’s, she’s too symmetrical and not that attractive,” according to Dr. Palmer.

Dr. Palmer also continued to explain how satisfied he was that Miss Australia was heavily criticized for being rail thin (read about that story by clicking here.)

“Five years ago, no one would have said anything about how skinny she is…[she] obviously has some kind of eating disorder.”

Despite Dr. Palmer’s belief that “beauty is not esoteric,” I had to question why some people, like my beloved Robert Pattinson, can go from average guy to my love slave the next. Dr. Palmer informed me that there are certain “trump factors” that make people more beautiful:

1. Fame: This is why my beloved Sparklepants is hotter now that he’s a vampire than he was as a wizard. The more famous someone is, the more attractive they become to people.

2. Wealth: This is why Donald Trump is able to land hot chicks. He has money. This may also explain why I have a crush on Bill Gates.

3. Power: Dr. Palmer explained to me that President Obama, though nice looking is not “movie star beautiful.” However, because he is the president and is very charismatic, people are more attracted to him.

So what do we think? Is Dr. Palmer onto something here? Can we really improve ourselves to achieve our highest number possible without the use of plastic surgery?

According to the doctor, “Daily decisions affect how you look; the lipstick you buy, for example. You cannot separate anything you do from being connected to your appearance…if given a choice, most everyone would choose to improve themselves.”

You can read more about Dr. Palmer and “The Palmer Code” at his website: http://www.drfpalmer.com You can purchase his book, “The Palmer Code”, by clicking here.