SOPA Blackout

Wikipedia, Craigslist, Reddit and many other sites are shutting down for 12 hours in protest of two bills SOPA and PIPA. Basically it stands for Stop Online Piracy Act and Protect IP Act. It sounds all good when you put words like “piracy” and “protect” in the acts, but they are no good for us wicked internet mongers.

The goal is to shut down pirated/bootlegged sites with stolen movies and music, but the blanket terms affect all websites. So if I post a video of…say..a kitten having a tickle fight and the original owner doesn’t want it on a public domain then the Justice Department can come in and shut down the ENTIRE SITE and the site where it came from. No questions asked and no warning.

So basically, the bill would kill Youtube, your love of watching Panda’s Sneezing or Honey Badger awesomeness and any other sites who link to it or post content from the offending site. So your favorites, like Hollywood Dame, would be a big blank page of error and no one would be here to talk about Lindsay Lohan’s latest meltdown of stabbing a child after he stole her crayons and called her a ho. (Or whatever she is up to today.)

You can sign this petition and bug your local representatives to vote HELL NO on the bills.

Casey Anthony NOT GUILTY

In a case of GUILTYASHALE!, Casey Anthony has been found not guilty of murdering her 2 year old daughter, Caylee.

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Harold Camping and the May 21st Rapture

Obviously we aren’t all catching up on the news thanks to the awesome wifi in the heavens. Harold Camping predicted the end of the world using numbers he “calculated” from the Bible. He managed to convince a following that on May 21st, 2011 that the end of the world would take place. People reportedly quit their jobs and lived it up the past week and waved good-bye to their life savings to live up their remaining time pre-rapture by watching a Frasier marathon and attending box socials or whatever the faithful do these days.

Alas, the end of the world starting with a “big earthquake that will make the one in Japan seem like a Sunday school picnic” failed to get the memo and the most action we have seen is a volcano erupting in Iceland. The Grimsvotn volcano, which is Iceland’s most active volcano, erupted and didn’t even interrupt air traffic.

Camping previously claimed the world would end in September of *1994. After that prediction proved BS he claimed he simply miscalculated. May 21, 2011 was supposed to be the correct calculated rapture date. Most Bible wielding religious folk gave him a Christianly gurl please and pointed to Matthew 24:36 which states that, “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”

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Osama Bin Laden DEAD – VIDEO

Thousands took to the streets of New York to celebrate a little bit of justice at Ground Zero as President Barak Obama confirmed that Osama Bin Laden is dead.

A little bit of justice for the 9/11 attacks has finally been achieved as the man who orchestrated the terrorist attack that took nearly 3,000 victims lives. After months of intelligence work and help from Pakinstan, Osama Bin Laden was shot in the head after a successful raid by American military. A 40 minute “kill mission” took place at a “mansion” that is said to have been built with the goal of hiding the al Qaeda leader. His location was in Abbottabad, Pakistan, about two hours outside of Islamabad.

Video of Osama bin Laden’s compound mansion after the cut. Click ‘Read More…’

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Facebook NOT Shutting Down

Relax. You will still be able to be informed that your best friend found $12 in the wash and your great Aunt Tootsie likes your status update of “I love mojitos and pool boys.”

A rumor that started at the hands of The Weekly World News stated that Mark Zuckerberg wants his “old life back” has ever Facebook fiend preparing for the Y2K of the social network. Rumors are that the service will shut down on March 15. Combine that BS with CNN’s published opinion piece by Goldman Sachs on the “beginning of the end” for Facebook…you have a rumor that will spread like Paris Hilton.

It’s another hoax. The site, which recently eclipsed Google, faced a smiliar shutdown rumor in 2007. The previous hoax sourced a bandwidth problem for the for the end of Facebook.

Ted Koppel’s Son, Andrew Koppel, Found Dead

Andrew Koppel, the 40 year-old son of former Nightline anchor Ted Koppel, has died.

Koppel was discovered in an upper Manhattan apartment by two of his drinking buddies.

Via The Associated Press:

Koppel had been drinking for hours with a man he met at a bar, the New York Post reported Tuesday.

“He had a straw hat on, and I had one on, and he said, ‘Nice hat, man,’” the drinking partner, Russell Wimberly, told the newspaper. “We got to talking, and he started buying me drinks.”

Koppel and Wimberly apparently then went to the Manhattan apartment owned by one of Wimberly’s friends, Belinda Caban. The two then told Koppel to ‘Sleep it off.’

According to reports, the two found that Koppel had ‘gotten sick’ and died during the night.

The medical examiner has yet to release a cause of death.

Kevin Costner Oil Spill Answer – VIDEO

Kevin Costner may be the answer to save sea life and our ecosystem after an oil spill that has leaked into the Gulf for 30 days.

Kevin and his brother have been working with a team for nearly 15 years on a machine that separates oil and water. The actor foot the bill for Ocean Therapy Solutions to create the machine after the Exxon Valdez oil spill. Currently they have 5 different machines with different capabilities. One can separate 5 gallons a minute another can split up to 200 gallons a minute.

“I’m just very happy that the light of day has come to this, and I’m very sad about why it is, but this is why it was developed, and like anything that we all face as a group, we face it together.”

Basically, diesel fuel and water are mixed and go into the machine, but jettisoned separately. The machine is currently working at a 97% cleaning rate. BP officials are tapping the systems and will be testing them in the spill area within the week.

Miss USA 2010 Scandal Pictures

Once again, pageantry scandal has struck. Instead of a Bible humping (typo but it stays) contestant stripping down in some topless photos, we have the Miss USA contestants stripping down in a photo shoot done by the pageant and placed on the Miss USA website. The pictures are hardly scandalous, but conservative people with a case of the angries started calling in with complaints.

This is why I signed a petition for government issued vibrators. Inappropriate? Maybe, but a contest in which girls are judged on appearance in swim suits hardly screams moral fiber. They should be complaining about how tacky some of these look Miss Tennessee looks like she is auditioning for a spot on ‘Rock of Love.’

It’s not a pageant until someone takes their top off.

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Images Via: Miss USA

April Fools Day

mister-t-april-fools-day

This is the day in which I spend most of my time in my Dame Lair drinking mimosas and avoiding the outside world and its frivolity. Normally I do it simply because I don’t like people in general, but today every Michael Lohan and Spencer Pratt of the world thinks they are extra funny. Being that I am grouchy beast, I usually end up over doing it when it comes to retaliation. You put Nair in one ho’s conditioner after she replaces the cream in your Oreos with toothpaste and you are deemed the bad guy forever.

April Fools Day originated in France. (Once again, the French prove they are sexy but total bitches. I should move there to join these wondrous creatures who are probably my distant relation.) During the 16th-century, King Charles IX tore up the traditional calendar and moved New Year’s from the end of March to January 1 in 1582. This lead to the mocking of those who still celebrate the new year in spring as “fools.” One of the most popular pranks to play was sneaking a paper fish onto an unsuspecting fools’ back and then dubbing him a Poisson d’Avril, or April Fish.

So what did we learn? 1. Don’t mess with my cookies 2. I am probably French 3.The French find paper fish amusing.

Bush Wipes Hand on Clinton – Video

Ladies and gentleman…the former President of the United States…

While in Haiti former President George Bush was shaking hands with the survivors and refugees in Port Au Prince. After coming in contact with several people, Bush wiped his hand on Bill Clinton.

I wouldn’t be surprised if this wipe and run wasn’t followed by George stating: “I was told there was going to be a Chuck E. Cheese here.”