Robert Pattinson is Missing ?!

Clutch your Twilight covered pillows and weep onto the shoulder of your cardboard cutout of Sparklepants. Robert Pattinson is missing!

Now take a deep breath. His MIA status is actually a good thing. He has finally found some peace and hidden himself away from the prying eyes of the media. Can’t blame him. When your girlfriend is getting the icing licked of her cupcake in a parking lot with some married director who doesn’t even tip a 4 on the hotness scales and is Quasimodo compared to your magical unicorn mane…life sucks.

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Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson Talking Plus Scientology/ Twilight Rumors

Sparklewatch continues…

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are Talking – According to Star, Rob is finally pealing himself off Reese Witherspoon’s Turkish rug located in her $7 million mansion and functioning again. After Kristen has been calling and texting, Rob has broken down and started answering her calls. A source told People that while they are talking, it is very unlikely that he will forgive her. I will go ahead and point the finger to all those Twilight Blind Items that basically has every member in the cast hooking up with each other…

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Kristen Stewart and Rupert Sanders Affair Details: FACT or CRAP

The hot second after I clocked out to enjoy a vacation of drinking myself silly while lounging around on a bean bag and eating boxes of Kashi, Kristen Stewart confirmed she cheated on Robert Pattinson with Rupert Sanders. The bean bag and bottle of hooch had to wait and the details of her affair have just kept coming.

KStew had just admitted that Rob was her “f**king boyfriend” in an interview with Elle. They have been rumored to be dating since she turned 18 and in the same interview she sidestepped questions about a ring that she has been wearing. She was caught hooking up with Rupert in a parking lot and a plethora of rumors began attaching themselves to the situation. So, let’s sift the fact from the piles of crap…

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Kristen Stewart Confirms Cheating on Robert Pattinson with Married Director, Rupert Sanders

GURL YOU IN DANGER! Aside from the fact that I am trying to vacation poolside in a Holiday Inn and decided whether or not I can get drunk enough to see the 40 something year old guy with a limp skimming dead bugs out of the pool as some young, sinewy cabana boy…Kristen Stewart has angered Twihards.

Us Weekly plastered the story of Stewart’s infidelity with her ‘Snow White and the Huntsman’ director, Rupert Sanders, on the cover this week. At first, one dismisses it as another groundless rumor. Now, Kristen has released a statement confirming that she has indeed cheated on Robert Pattinson

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Andrew Garfield and Robert Pattinson ‘Hate Each Other’ ?!

Good ol’ Us Weekly is running with a story that Andrew Garfield and Robert Pattinson immediately turn into Pretty Pretty Princesses trying to weave snatch each other when they enter the same room. According to their report, they were both at Kevin Turen’s wedding and…gasp…ignored each other.

SWEET BABY JESUS! Alert the church elders! What kind of world do we live in where to famous people don’t immediately call for a time out during a wedding, glide across the room, embrace each other and say, “HEY YOU ARE FAMOUS TOO! OH MAH GAWD WE HAVE SO MUCH MONEY! LETS BE BEST FRIENDS 4-EVA!“???

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Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson Having a Baby ?!

After we all pointed and laughed at Globe, I thought it would be fun to de-bunk some more tabloid fodder.

OK has some baby news because babies, eating disorders and weddings sell. It sounds like your average weekend at a sorority reunion, but we will go with it.

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‘Breaking Dawn Part 2’ and Renesmee Official PHOTOS

While most of us have moved on to kids killing each other for entertainment/punishment circa ‘The Hunger Games,’ the metrosexual vampire has resurfaced to claim our attention.

Entertainment Weekly is starting the fires of ‘Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2’ marketing with a cover featuring Edward and Bella’s hybrid human/vampire daughter, Renesmee.

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Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart’s Party PDA – VIDEO

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are busy pimping their respective films at Cannes, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t making time for some slap and tickle.

Rob walked the red carpet premiere of ‘On the Road’ solo, but he and Kristen hooked up at an after party. While they stood in the corner having a moment to themselves, he appeared to be trying to get her to smile.

Good luck with that.

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Robert Pattinson and Nikki Reed Feud ?!

The things you can do with Photoshop these days…

Someone who A) is extremely bored/sad, B) wants to see some fantastic celebrity catfight that will end with Kristen Stewart biting her lip as Nikki bobs her head and screams BRING IT ON YOU ONE NOTE TRICK! or C) is a PR genius stirring up a bit ol’ pot of relevancy, shared a fake Twitter post that sparked a feud rumor.

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‘Cosmopolis’ Teaser Trailer – SEE IT HERE

If you want to see Robert Pattinson nude and showing off his sparkle trail then the ‘Cosmopolis‘ trailer is for you. There is also a boob shot, so don’t be trying to sneak a peek while your boss is meandering around the office clutching his World’s Best Dad mug, snapping his suspenders and trying to guilt your coworkers into bringing potato salad to the company picnic.

The film is directed by David Cronenberg and adapted from Don DeLillo’s novel centering around a young New York financier having a really crazy day.