Michelle Williams is rocking a pixie cut on the October issue of Vogue. The former “Dawson’s Creek” actress shared the screen with Heath Ledger and it forever changed her life. After loosing her once fiancé and father of her child she rarely opens up about the loss of Heath. Currently she is doing her best to pick the pieces up and move on. She talks intimately wit the mag across subjects about dating again. Williams was involved with director Spike Jonze after she began to move on from Heath, but the couple broke up.

“The timing was impossible. I thought falling in love again was the only thing that was going to save me from the pain. This erroneous idea: It just makes things more complicated.” And dating with a kid? “I obviously don’t know how to do it.”

After keeping as much dignity and grace involving the man she will forever be tied to, Michelle explained her hatred of interviews post Ledger’s passing.

“I didn’t know what my boundaries were for a long time, which made interviews feel very unsafe. I can talk about grief, because that’s mine; about single parenting; about trying to balance work and kids. But what I don’t have to talk about is what happened between Heath and me in our relationship.”

A few more highlights from the Vogue October issue Michelle Williams interview:

Coping after Ledger’s untimely death: “I was holding it together by a string and a paper clip in the fall and winter. I didn’t know if I could keep it all together… You console yourself by saying it’s all a deepening process. But it’s wired. After the first year, the pain is less intense; it’s less immediate. But the magical thinking goes away too. And that’s a whole new reckoning. But every time I really miss him and wonder where he’s gone, I just look at her [Matilda.]”

The happy times: “‘Brokeback Mountain” was an unrepeatable moment in time, a very charmed time in my life. I was in love; I was in a movie I was proud to be a part of, and with a beautiful brand-new baby. Everything was good in that moment.”

Dealing with the paparazzi presence: “It’s because of this tragedy that there’s more paparazzi. That is hard to be graceful and understanding about… It’s hard to be the man and the woman in that [paparazzi] situation. Heath always used to do that for us.”

Falling in love: “I thought falling in love again was the only thing that was going to save me from the pain. This erroneous idea: It just makes things more complicated.”

What the future holds: “I feel hopeful and grateful. For a while I thought we had lost everything. It makes you want to love better and liver better.”

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Images Via: Vogue