Along with the gift of crotch critters, Derek Jeter gives out signed baseballs to one night stands. Seriously.
JAWS Ride to Close in Universal Studios
December 3, 2011 By Leave a Comment
Jaws is going to have to get a job as the new Land Shark on SNL because Universal Studios in Orlando Florida is closing the best ride with the worst effects ever. That shark was about as convincing as a budget grocery store Santa Claus, but it will forever remain in my heart as one of the best rides. Regardless of its awesomeness, it will close on January 2nd.
Demi Lovato Rips Off Part of Her Weave – VIDEO
November 28, 2011 By Leave a Comment
Demi Lovato was going full diva at her concert in Kansas City. Girl was working the stage and singing ‘All Night Long’ when her hand got caught on her hair extensions. She subsequently ripped out part of her hair, but kept going.
Demi continued on and tried to shake off the fake hair by pretending it was an awesome new way to werk it. It’s hardly news, but worth the giggle. Ok, so it’s (almost) better than watching a panda sneeze on repeat.
Fast forward to the 0:47 marker for the malfunction.
Bradley Cooper as Sexiest Man Alive is a “Huge Mistake”
November 17, 2011 By Leave a Comment
Remember when you were expecting Ryan Gosling giving you sexy time eyes from the cover of People mag’s Sexiest Man Alive issue and all you got was Bradley Cooper giving you Hair Club for Men results photo smile? I hope so because that mess just happened yesterday.
Bradley Cooper is People’s Sexiest Man Alive
November 16, 2011 By 1 Comment
BCooper has been crowned prettiest pretty, pretty princess at People. The mag has named Bradley Cooper Sexiest Man Alive.
This guy is the sexiest beast left roaming the Earth ??? . His name, which must have been pulled out of a hat, was announced this morning on ‘Good Morning America.’
Ashton Kutcher Continues War on Good Decisions
November 10, 2011 By 2 Comments
Who knew that Twitter would become the verbal weaponry of choice by the special bus version of Charlie Sheen? Ashton Kutcher released more DURRRR on the social networking site supporting Joe Paterno and throwing judgment on Penn State for firing him after he closed his eyes, plugged his ears and hummed the theme from ‘Moonlighting’ while his assistant coach did bad things to children.
“How do you fire Jo Pa? #insult #noclass as a hawkeye fan I find it in poor taste”
Someone then passed Kutcher a memo that Paterno basically let Jerry Sandusky rape boys with a note attached explaining that molestation is not awesome.
Justin Bieber Paternity Suit – Alleged Son PHOTO
November 2, 2011 By 3 Comments
If you listen very carefully you can hear Maury doing the Dance of Joy as images of a Justin Bieber Paternity Test themed show float through his head. The You ARE the Father Band is practicing their version of ‘Baby’ while assistants create audience goodie bags stuffed with Chuck E Cheese coupons and a lock of his newly shorn hair.
Mariah Yeater claims that she had sex with Beiber backstage after one of his concerts at Staples Center. Star magazine features a photo of Justin’s alleged son, Tristyn Anthony Markhouse Yeater, on the cover just minutes after he was born. The 20 year old filed a paternity suit on October 31, 2011. She claims that one of JB’s bodyguards approached her during the show and asked if she wanted to come backstage. After waiting for him to finish playing with his choo-choo trains, Justin joined her backstage and took her to a bathroom where they had sex. According to her, he refused to wear a condom and only lasted 30 seconds. (That is the only truly believable detail about this story.)
Emma Stone and the Jim Carrey Love Letter – VIDEO
August 25, 2011 By Leave a Comment
Someone put a moat around the ‘Crazy Stupid Love’ star’s house fill it with a herd of crocosaurus. Jim Carrey made a video love letter for Emma Stone.
Jim pours his heart out in an Ode to Stone in which he informs her that she is “all the way beautiful.” It’s very creepy uncle who just got out of rehab…
