Hold the phone…she and Jude Law actually hooked up? I mean, everyone has hooked up with Jude Law, but Jessica Simpson? She does fill his requirements of having breasts and a pulse.

Anyway, according to Star Magazine Jessica Simpson is writing a book that will detail the sordid sex affairs she turned to after divorcing Nick Lachey. Tales included in this rumored tell all would include details about each man’s fetish. Apparently John Mayer is a swinger (big surprise) and Tony Romo loves would-be strippers (another shocker).

Per Star Via Jezebel:

“Jessica Simpson is planning to write a multi-million dollar tell-all, which will spill details about her ex-boyfriends and her “love luggage” — her weight.

~Tony Romo liked her to dress up as a cheerleader, but with garter belts, stockings and high heels. And he’d bring food into the bedroom.

~John Mayer would talk baby talk in bed and was always begging her to experiment — he wanted her to go to sex parties “just to look.”

Jess might reveal how she fell for Dane Cook while filming Employee Of The Month “when he made her laugh so hard he made her pee her pants on the set.” And! A source says: “She’ll probably write about one wild night she had with Jude Law in New York, and how close she came to being his baby mama.”

Creepy Papa Joe would explode from the grits and dollar signs if Jessica was pregnant with Jude Law’s baby. Speaking of exploding grits and dollar signs, Us Weekly also reports that John Mayer has nude photos of Jessica Simpson on his cell still. If that isn’t creepy enough for you, a source said that he also showed them to his friends.

While the Jude Law slumming it angle does surprise me a tiny bit, the only thing I’d find remotely interesting is the confirmation that Mayer made her dress up as Mister Rogers and call him Trolley.

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Image Via: wenn.com, Getty, Star