Mischa Barton – Fashion Disaster

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What the hell Marissa Cooper! At first I thought this was some random plebeian from People of Wal-Mart. Nope. It’s Mischa Barton which begs the question- What in the hell happened to this poor child? This is what we should be showing children to make them fear recreational drugs. Nose candy will rot your brain and make you think yellow high-waisted skinny jeans are socially acceptable. The fact that they are two sizes too small gives me a case of the sads.

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Images Via: Celebrity Gossip

Robert Pattinson Goes to Hotel Drunk with Blonde Woman- PICTURES

We have all been here before. You are getting your ho stroll on and the martinis are flowing like obscenities from Alec Baldwin’s mouth and then BAM…you are doing the Drunk-N-Stumble into a taxi.

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Robert Pattinson was spotted drinking at The Ivy Club after attending the premiere and after party for “Remember Me.” However, Pattinson and his Twilight Saga costar, Kristen Stewart, are rumored to be dating/practically married/lovahs. This is all fine and dandy until you wake up the next morning and find a random blonde in your bed. (My immediate dread is that I will have to pretend to give him my number and then share my Pop Tarts with him before I kick him out.) They were photographed being helped into a cab before speeding off to Pattinson’s hotel around 1 am.

Maybe she was his…nanny and Sparklepants was just super tired and she was going to tuck him in and read him “Good Night Moon.” Meh…I hope he double bagged it either way.

UPDATE – Some readers think that this may be one of his reps/Unicorn Patch tamers/agents. What do you think?

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Images Via: WENN.com

Lindsay Lohan is Lie Telling

Lindsay Lohan Sober - Yeah, Ok...

I love The Sun and how deliciously Euro-tastic it is. It has a respectability in an Us Weekly way and Lindsay Lohan was ready to try and convince us all that she has hit rock bottom and is clawing her way back up again. The way to do that is selling her story to The Sun. Coke doesn’t grow on trees you know.

She sold them a Maury worthy story full of fictitious ramblings that tried to point the finger at her dad. Which I should mention Mikey Lohan being a complete failing famewhore is about the only aspect of these quotes I believe.

Lindsay Talking About Rehab (In Her Genius Attempt to Find an Untapped Ambien Source)
“I went to rehab three times. The first time I checked myself in because I had taken Ambien. It’s a sleeping aid but it makes you hallucinate. I’d run a bath and fallen asleep on the floor and the bath had overflowed. When I woke up I was so scared, I called my therapist and said, ‘Can I just go somewhere for a month? I’m around bad people and I need to take care of myself’. I was terrified, so I put myself in.”

On How She Wants to Teach Others (To Do What Exactly?)
“Mind-altering substances are so dangerous. If I can teach others, especially teens, by sharing my experiences, then that’s what I will continue to do. I’ve made some dreadful mistakes but learned from them – that has probably saved my life.”

Lilo’s Dad is Emperor of the Douches
“When my father was going public, that’s when I hit rock bottom. I abused substances too much and it wasn’t the answer to my problems. People need to know that. I tried to mask my problems with alcohol, cocaine and mind-altering substances. Now I’m in a place where I don’t need to use anything and I can feel emotions because I choose to. I learnt from my mistakes and I’m now healthy and happier. I never want to be close to losing everything I worked for and aspired to have my whole life.”

Lindsay on How It Was OK That She Was Partying in London Last Weekend, Got Trashed, Danced on Tables, Threw Cigarettes at Waitresses and Got Locked Of Her Hotel and Beat on the Door at 4 AM Until They Let Her In (Photos HERE) –
“I’m allowed to drink now but I know my limits. There are certain situations where I have obligations. There’s no reason to (drink) because I don’t want to feel like s*** in the morning. I’ve now learned my boundaries and I’ve been very good with cleaning house with people who I know didn’t have my best intentions at heart. A lot of people in LA are very self destructive. Partying so hard simply isn’t worth it. Life is worth living and there is so much to do and experience, it’s wonderful.”

What they hell kind of sobering program gives you the “OK” to go out and drink? It’s like telling the contestants on Biggest Looser they can go Golden Corral Buffet everyday as long as the pinky swear not to eat anything with trans fat.

Charlie Sheens Wife Drank While Pregnant

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Yeah, I could see something like this putting some major strain on any relationship! Charlie Sheen’s wife Brooke Mueller reportedly went to rehab for alcohol abuse when she was five months pregnant with twins Bob and Max, after several bottles of alcohol were found in her car. It is also being said that the couple fought bitterly due to Brooke’s drinking while pregnant, and Charlie blamed her for the premature birth of the twins and the heart issue that kept one of their son’s hospitalized for several weeks after the other baby came home from the hospital. However, her attorney Yale Galanter is fighting back, claiming the reports are “dead wrong.”

Per E!:

“I know that’s not true. I’m very familiar with the situation, and that’s totally not true. She was not in rehab for alcohol abuse while pregnant. That never occurred. She’s an incredible mother; it’s amazing to see her with her children.”

Well, do you really expect her to stand up and say “Why yes, I did go to rehab for alcohol while I was pregnant. My sons medical problem is solely my fault!” Galanter is currently working on lifting the protection order that bans Brooke and Charlie from contacting each other after their Christmas spat spiraled out of control. (Read about that here.) Given she was drunk at 8:30am on Christmas morning, I tend to doubt her credibility. Its about time Charlie and Brooke cut their losses and go their separate ways!

Images Via: WENN.com

Sandra Bullock and Jesse James Fighting a Porn Star

Miss Congeniality herself is in a custody battle with her husband’s porn star ex. Sandra Bullock and her husband Jesse James are fighting his ex-girlfriend for custody of his daughter, Sunny. Jesse and the child’s mother, Janine Lindemulder, split when she was 7 months pregnant with their daughter. Bullock is trying to prove that she is a better parent for her husband’s daughter than the girl’s mother, an adult film star and director, who has just served six months in prison for tax evasion. Lindemulder was released last month and now is living in a halfway house, while James had been awarded sole custody of Sunny. She can seek custody at the end of the year.

Per E!:

“What would give her the right to take away my daughter?” Lindemulder said of Bullock, toward whom the majority of her ire seems directed. “This is my daughter. I’m the best mother I can be.”

James is determined not to let his ex gain custody of their daughter because, according to court papers he fears his little girl would be introduced to a dangerous world if she lived with her mother. The current dispute has arisen as the couple claims they have seen suspicious marks and bruises when she arrived at their home after Lindemulders’ visition.

Per The Morung Express:

“Good cause exists for the court to conduct a review to determine if (the girl) will be safe with (Lindemulder),” James said in a statement to the court. “She should be restrained from allowing the child around pornographers, drug addicts, guns and firearms, felons and other unsafe environments.”

James also has two older kids from his first marriage, and Sandra has said that she’s very happy being an involved stepmother, saying that she feels “very blessed.” The couple also have some concerns over Lindemulders new boyfriend Jeremy Aikman, who has several past state and federal convictions involving alcohol, guns and the manufacturing of narcotics. Lindemulder reportedly sent a text message to James when she was charged last year, telling him “U WIN. Sandra has her baby congrats,” even though she acknowledges Sandra for being an “excellent mother” who genuinely cares for her daughter.

Per E!:

“I know the term ‘stepmother’ carries many connotations, one of them being a ‘glorified babysitter,’ ” she writes. “My commitment and responsibility to Sunny, and Chandler and Jesse Jr., goes beyond that. We are FULLY prepared to accept the responsibility and make Sunny’s transition as healthy as possible if full custody should be awarded to Jesse…We are here, and know we may have a tough road ahead of us but we have built a strong and stable foundation, which makes us ready for anything.”

Jesse James and Lindemulder are equally unimpressive. Asking a judge to look at the home of the mother who has just been released from jail sounds pretty reasonable to me. I feel for Sandra in this situation. Being a step-parent in a blended family is a difficult situation. Does poor Sandra stand a chance against the devil’s crowd?

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Images Via: WENN.com

Avril Lavigne Divorced Deryck Whibley for Brandon Davis

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Yes, we have more of this funckery. According to rumor, Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley (his name sounds like slang term for only having one testicle by the way) divorced due to Avril’s love affair with Brandon Davis. Since the announcement of their divorce, Lavigne has been playing “I got married too young card” and dodging the real reason. In Touch states that Brandon gave her an ultimatum.

Per In Touch Via Celebitchy:

“In early September, he told Avril to choose between him and her husband. “Brandon really likes Avril, but he’s not keen on dating a married woman… Ever since they first met, they’ve had a connection. But Avril was married to Deryck, so Brandon kept it casual.”

Now that she and Deryck have separated, the insider reveal that Avril and Brandon are planning to go public with their romance.“They have major chemistry. They could wind up getting married,” says the pal, adding that the pair have been meeting at his mother’s Bel Air estate to avoid being photographed together.
They also had a rendezvous on a yacht in St. Tropez this summer, and Avril celebrated Brandon’s 30th birthday with him at Koi in LA on September 2, giving him an expensive art book as a present. “They are together,” says the friend. “He loves Avril.”

These two have been drinking buddies for awhile and were even spotted together back in July getting crunk together. They were doing shot after shot together and were even rumored to be snorting together.
Nothing says love like hoovering coke together.

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Images Via: Avril Groupie

Lindsay Lohan Contemplating Playboy; Kate Gosselin Turns It Down

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Well, at least there is one so called celebrity out there with a little bit of self respect. Lindsay Lohan has reportedly been offered $900kto pose for “Playboy” and is considering it. This isn’t the first time that “Playboy” would have approached Lohan, as they approached her back in 2008, with an offer of $700,000 that she turned down. Maybe if the up the ante a little bit by throwing in some booze and coke they just might have themselves a deal. We’ve already had the unfortunate opportunity to see Lohan nude once before in 2008, when she bared it all in “New York” magazine, so this really is bad timing on Hugh Hefners’ part, and waaaay too much money for something we already seen… Many, many times!

In other “Playboy” related news, at least one semi-celebrity has enough decency to turn down the offer. Kate Gosselin has been said to have received a letter from Hefner, offering her $400k for a spread in an upcoming interview. She reportedly turned down the offer, being mortified at the thought and claiming she would never do such a thing for the sake of her 8 children. “Playboy” is jumping on the reality-star bandwagon, with having the press-seeking Heidi Montag and Aubrey O’Day recently posing for their magazine. I’m proud of Kate for turning it down, staying true to her word that she is doing things for the kid’s sake.

Lindsay Lohans Neighbors Want Her Gone

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Neighbors of Lindsay Lohan want her out of their neighborhood – pronto! Citing the recent burglaries (twice in the past 3 months at Lindsays’ place) along with the constant presence of the paparazzi, they are claiming that ever since the actress has moved in their neighborhood has gone down-hill! They also claim the second break in proves that drugs are still a big part of Lindsay’s life and it is affecting all of them to no end.

Per Radar:

“The truth is that this is a very quiet neighborhood and there have been no break-ins apart from at Lindsay Lohan’s house,” a neighbor told RadarOnline.com. “Since she moved in last November it has been a nightmare with all the paparazzi parking in our driveways waiting for her.”

And who could blame them? I’m sure Lindsay knocks their neighborhood up a few pegs on the trash-o-meter. Lohans house was broken into again for the second time early Sunday morning, with thieves making off with a safe, bags, jewelry and shoes from inside. Detectives are currently reviewing video footage which reportedly shows three men leaving the house. According to reports, the side door to Lohans’ house had appeared to be ripped right off its hinges. Hasn’t Lindsay allegedly given herself the Five Finger Discount on other’s property? I don’t have any sympathy for her on this one. On Monday the house reportedly lays empty with no padlock on the main door, and the side door still missing. Lindsay was seen leaving on Sunday afternoon with a couple of friends and an assistant, after coming home to gather up some of her personal things. Lindsays father, Michael Lohan, has vowed to catch the men who broke into his daughters house. That is, if he can manage to take some time out schooling Jon Gosselin on how to be a hard partying absentee father chasing girls almost young enough to be your daughter from a teenage relationship. I’m just sayin’…

Per Radar:

“It’s obviously an inside job and I first noticed that the door at the side of the property was missing a few days ago. This is a really narrow and winding street and I’m amazed there has not been a more serious accident,” the neighbor added. “I’ve got nothing personal against her but she needs to find a home in a gated community with security at the main gate because all the residents are fed-up with the situation.”

I’m surprised she doesn’t already live in a gated community. Or at least an alarm system loud enough to wake up the surround counties next to hers. Sounds like an inside job to me. Insurance claim, perhaps? I don’t see any other form of income for her to live off of. Maybe she spent all of her money on blow and alcohol and can’t afford it now? Again, I’m just sayin’…

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Images Via: wenn.com

Paris Ditches Doug Reinhardt, Hooks Up with Cristiano Ronaldo

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Come on, who didn’t see this one coming a mile away? Serial dater Paris Hilton has called it quits with her flavor of the month, Doug Reinhardt, after the pair reportedly had a huge blow up at a club, leaving Paris running out to leave in tears.

Per People:

“In response to the inquiry on whether Paris Hilton has split up with Doug Reinhardt, yes, this is true they are no longer together. They remain friends and ask that you please respect their privacy,” a rep for Hilton says. “They remain friends and we ask that you please respect their privacy. Paris will not discuss the relationship further.”

This comes as quite a turn of events, as Paris and Doug were talking just 3 days ago about how much they were looking forward to their anniversary. As recently as April, Hilton also declared that she’d wed Reinhardt. Yeah honey, think its time to put that wedding gown back in the closet until the next guy shows up…. But wait! The next guy HAS shown up!! Not even 24 hours after Paris ended things with Doug, she’s already shacking up with a new man – Soccer star Cristian Ronaldo. Paris and sister Nicky Hilton hit up club MyHouse where Ronaldo was out having a good time with some friends, and proceeded to sit themselves down at their table. Didn’t take long for Hilton and Ronaldo to get comfortable around eachother, as its being reported that the duo couldn’t keep their hands off eachother!

Per X17:

“Cristiano and Paris were all over each other swapping spit the entire night! His table needed every waitress in the building to service the large quantities of alcohol, and he spent an excess of 20 thousand dollars on champagne and drinks.”

After the club, Ronaldo left with the Hilton sisters to head back to Nicky’s place and was caught on camera leaving around 5am. Its no secret Paris has had her eye on the soccer stud for quite some time now, attempting to work her Hilton-Charm on him last July. Apparently then, Ronaldo had no interest in the sex-tape star. Wonder how long this will last….Given the pairs dating history, I give it a week.

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Images Via: Pacific Coast News, INF

Amy Winehouse Booed at Comeback Gig

When asked to perform the concert in the first place, maybe Amy Winehouse should have said “no no no.” After being holed up for several months in the Caribbean to try to get her act together, Amy was performing at a jazz festival in St Lucia, a concert meant to be a thank-you for the Islanders’ hospitality. But according to News of the World, she boozed it up for six hours beforehand, drank throughout the entire show, forgetting the majority of her lyrics, and exposed her bra and panties as she stumbled around the stage.

Per Hot Momma Gossip:

“One concert goer reported: “well if you can call it singing, she never sang a song all the way through, or kept up with the music, forgot her lyrics, and at one point just stopped and said she was bored! but in the end she just sat down at the front of the stage and seemed to nod off, at which point she was led off, and the band followed pretty quickly.”

News of The World also reported that Amy, in a state of confusion, began shouting at her backing singers for playing songs she’d never heard of, until they reminded her she wrote the tracks herself. Continuing to pound back the booze while singing, Amy stumbled all over the stage and mumbled to herself like a bum, letting down her fans who paid around $50 a ticket to see her, even admitting to the crowd that she was bored. When a rainstorm caused a power-outage, Winehouse was so out of it that she didn’t even notice. She carried on attempting to sing before slumping over on stage. When the lights came back on, Amy tried unsuccessfully to roll a cigarette – then proceeded to chewed the paper and tobacco before spitting it at the crowd. She then she lunged at horrified backup singer with her tongue out. Eventually the trainwreck was booed off the stage in what is being hailed as her worst concert ever, causing Winehouse to burst into tears.

Per The News Of the World:

“It’s the first time Amy has sung those songs for a long time. They brought back all her memories of her Blake.” a spokesman for Winehouse said.

What a pathetic excuse. How about being honest and saying that Winehouse is still an alcoholic drug addict, and until she deals with these issues nothing is going to change. I can’t believe she is tossing her career out the window. I officially am throwing in my towel and giving up all hope for her.