In my fantasy world, I am Anderson Cooper’s neighbor. In the evenings, we take martinis on the balcony while trash-talking the bitches at Fox News and eating boxes of Little Debbie Zebra Cakes. It’s my happy place.

Now, it seems, I have to make some room in that happy place for Cooper’s rumored lover, gay bar owner Ben Maisani.

According to the National Enquirer (i.e. take it for what it’s worth), the Silver Fox and Maisani have been together for around 8 months and are now taking the plunge into his-and-his real estate.

“Anderson has found his ‘Mr. Right’ in Ben. Their relationship is so solid they want to move in together, and they’ve been looking at Manhattan real estate. Anderson firmly believes that media members should keep their personal lives private, but for years he’s dropped hints that he’s gay. Now that he’s with Ben – who is certainly not shy about his sexuality – Anderson is seriously considering publicly acknowledging his sexuality.

The couple also are rumored to have recently returned from a romantic getaway to India. Whatever happened to body-shots in Cancun? Ah, romance is so dead. Regardless, I cannot wait for the People magazine cover of him rolling in women’s shoes and glitter with the words ‘Yup, I’m Gay’ on the cover.