Chris Brown Gets Probation For Beating Rihanna

Ugh. This is so gross I can barely report it.

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Chris Brown took a plea bargain in his assault case against former girlfriend, Rihanna. In exchange for a guilty plea, Brown will get five years probation and have to serve 180 days doing community service in his home state of Virginia.

Following the hearing, Brown’s lawyer, Mark Gregaros, addressed the media because he likes to hear his own voice and bought a new suit for the occasion.

Via US Weekly:

“This is a kid who has never been in trouble before, who wants to move past this. He has accepted responsibility and will continue to do so. He embraces this as an opportunity to get his life back on track and his career back on track.”

Oh well, if he’s never been in trouble before, by all means, use any lady you’d like as a punching bag.

On top of the probation and community service, the judge also ordered a protective order forbidding the singer from contacting Rihanna and a 50 yard stay-away order which demands that both parties keep their distance from one another.

Rihanna was present but was not called upon to testify.

After Brown left the courthouse, Rihanna and her attorney met with the judge to discuss the stay-away order. The judge in this case, Patricia Schnegg, conveyed to the “Umbrella” singer that she also is not allowed to contact Brown under the protection order and stay-away agreement.

If only the girls on the Maury Povich Show could be afforded the same opportunity we wouldn’t be subjected to the “…but I love him” defense.

Joaquin Phoenix Attacks a Fan – Video

Just when you think Joaquin Phoenix has gone off the deep end, he shows you there are still a few more feet left for him to dive…literally.

While ‘performing’ at LIV nightclub at the Fountainbleau in Miami, Phoenix began exchanging insults with a paid actor fan near the front row.

Via TMZ.com:

“Phoenix [told] the heckler, ‘I’ve got millions of dollars in my f**king bank account. What do you got?’”

I am guessing the heckler retorted “self respect and a working shower” because Phoenix then jumped from the stage and began punching the man who has suspiciously not yet pressed charges. Someone may want to remind Phoenix that the money he earned making “Walk the Line” was blown on beard combs and rubber-bands for his hair.

Naturally while all this was happening, Phoenix’s BFF Casey Affleck was in the wings filming his documentary. Not wanting to chip a nail on his recently manicured hands, Affleck kept filming as opposed to rushing in to help, adding even more fuel to the theory that Joaquin is merely doing this for sport.