And a lifetime supply of Apricot-cha Gotcha lip gloss and for vicodin to made into a liquid form merely for convenience.

My favorite “American Idol” boozehound, Paula Abdul, is refusing to slur her words and make nonsensical comments on national television without being paid ridiculous amounts of cash to do so. I hereby volunteer to replace said boozehound. I will even work for snack packs and tequila.

Radar Online has learned exclusively that Paula is asking for a $20 million deal to come back to the hit Fox show – a demand that has been turned down so far.

Her manager David Sonenberg is playing tough, and probably made a few network execs squirm this weekend when he told the Los Angeles Times, “Very sadly, it does not appear she’s going to be back on Idol.”

Simon Cowell recently resigned with the promise of tufts from his furry moobies to stick out of the tops of his shirts. I am pretty sure Randy also resigned in exchange for gift certificates to K-Mart.

I say give her whatever she wants. Bitch wants a lifetime supply of highlighting caps from Sally’s Beauty supply and a money pit she can swim around in while high on some pill she found in the bottom of her purse…hand it over. This may translate to an American Idol boycott if this horrid injustice isn‘t corrected.

Image Via: Wenn