Brandon Davis

Brandon Davis Calls Mischa Barton a Heffer

Wow. Here we have the reincarnated talentless version of Fat Elvis calling the kettle black. Brandon Davis caught sight of the newly filled out version Mischa Barton and took to his Twitter to call her fat.

I am guessing he is referring to those horrid high-waisted butter colored pants she was trying to rock the other day (click HERE to see that mess). Ill fitting…yes, very much so. The size of a planet? No.

This guy looks like he showers in Crisco and smells like burnt hair. How and why she ever dated him is a mystery. Oh wait…his daddy is rich. Ahhhh…I see.

[Keep Clicking Thumbnails for a Larger Image]

Avril Lavigne is Nailing Handy Manny

Ew. Now that Avril Lavigne has officially divorced Deryck Whibley, she is no longer attempting to hide her indiscretions. Translation – Prince Pelvis of Hot Topic is a bag of Doritos and a bottle of schnapps away from a sex tape.

Before she and Whibley officially split she was seen “acting anything but married” in the Hamptons in August. She has also been on rampage of hooking up with some questionable suitors including Brandon Davis. Avril was rumored to be cheating on Deryck with Davis for months at a time during their marriage. (click HERE to read more on Avril Cheating on Deryck)

Now the “Complicated” singer is nailing Lindsay Lohan’s ex., Wilmer Valderramma.

“They have been friends since working together on Fast Food Nation in 2005, but things heated up last month,” an insider tells Life & Style. “One of their first dates was Oct. 29 at Nobu in West Hollywood.” Avril, 25, and Wilmer, 29, took things public at LA club Wonderland last Saturday. “She had her hand on his knee and they were whispering in each other’s ear, laughing,” says a witness. “They even closed the club, sneaking out just after 2.”

What happened to making sexy times with Dole Pineapple Prince, Justin Murdock? Honey, every ho knows money trumps Disney show. I get that Wilmer has a fetish for teen queens so it’s no surprise he is trying to lure Avril into his van to see some puppies and eat candy. Regardless, I give it a week before Prince Pelvis of Hot Topic is ho strollin’ for Leonardo DiCaprio or the guy with a lazy eye and operates the fork lift at Costco.