“Robert Pattinson is here. Hide your daughters!” – at least that’s what the cover says. Back in December, Robert Pattinson sat down with Alex Pappademas to give an interview for “GQ” Magazine.

The article is full of non-important ramblings from Sparklepants, but hey – it IS Robert Pattinson afterall. He could read the listing in the phonebooks and the magazine would still be guaranteed to sell! He talks about how the place he’s staying at in L.A. has a microwave, and that he’s never had a microwave before, and that he spends a lot of time looking for new things you can microwave. Even mentioning what he’s tried microwaving — frozen cheeseburgers from the grocery store. And a carrot.

Then he moves on to something a little bit more exciting: “Twilight.” He talks about how he almost quit acting after being fired from a London play after his “Harry Potter” gig. Pattinson was in L.A., crashing on his agents couch looking for what he called an “American Job.” Thats when “Twilight” came calling. Although Sparklepants had no clue about the frenzy he was about to get himself into. His biggest fear at the time? Forgetting how to do an American accent. He freaked out – taking a Valium to calm his nerves before his audition with Catherine Hardwicke.

Per Men.Style.Com Via GQ:

“It was the first time I’ve ever taken Valium,” he says after a second, perhaps realizing how this sounds. “A quarter. A quarter of a Valium. I tried to do it for another audition, and it just completely backfired—I was passing out.”

Pattinson says he tries not to go out if he can avoid it. He stays home, watches movies, microwaves. Mostly he reads about himself on the internet. According to what he reads online, he’s a very different person than who he really is. A creature of the night, eager to sink his teeth into anything female with a pulse. All not true he says, but reads them anyways out of a kind of masochistic narcissism. He reads the gossip blogs and the “Twilight” fan fiction, which he says is surprisingly hardcore and very well written. He even knows what the fake Robert Pattinson said on the fake Robert Pattinson Facebook page, claiming to have “nailed” Kirsten Stewart, his co-star in the “Twilight” movie.

“There’s literally not a single [true] story that could be written about me,” he says. “I never do anything… There’s this thing about my supposed girlfriend,” he says. “There’s this one girl who’s consistently mentioned. It’s like, ‘He’s dating this Brazilian model.’… There’s this thing about my supposed girlfriend… What’s her name—Annelyse. I’ve never met her.

“I mean—yeah,” he says. “I don’t see people. I don’t even have people’s phone numbers. I almost don’t want to have a girlfriend, in this environment.”

Sparklepants hasn’t shot anything new since “Twilight” wrapped. And he won’t, until he starts shooting the next movie in the “Twilight” franchise, “New Moon” which is due out in November. But in the meantime, he’ll show up as a young Salvador Dalí in movie called “Little Ashes“, and there are rumblings his movie “How To Be” will have a limited release in theaters soon. Pattinson is pretty sure the only reason “Little Ashes” is getting any kind of promotional push is that he’s in it.

“It’s nothing,” he says. “It would never have been released. I mean, that’s a terrible thing to say, but this was a movie where we didn’t even have stand-ins! We were scrambling, the entire time. We didn’t even have trailers.”

Pattinson hasn’t seen the finished version of “Little Ashes“, or any movie he’s been in since “Harry Potter,” including “Twilight.” He took his mother with him to the American premiere of the movie, squirming through the first ten minutes of it before bolting out the door to his car to have a full blown panic attack. He was ten minutes into the panic attack when he realized someone was filming him.

The issue is scheduled to go on sale on March 24, 2009. You can bet I’ll have my copy that day!

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Images Via: GQ