Celebrity Quotes: Amy Poehler

“I just wanna pick her up like a little baby and tell her how to flirt with guys and take her away from the Dress Barn.”

Amy Poehler, on her character Leslie Knope on NBC’s new comedy “Parks and Recreation.”

Celebrity Quotes: Paris Hilton

“All British people have plain names, and that works pretty well over there.”

Image Via: BuzzFoto

Celebrity Quotes: Anna Faris

“I know I looked skinnier in “The House Bunny,” but thanks to my diet of beer and doughnuts, I’m back to my fightin’ weight!’”

Anna Faris

Celebrity Quotes: Kardashians

Kim, stop taking pictures of yourself when your sister’s going to jail!

-Kris Jenner in the car with Kim Kardashian as they’re taking her sister, Khloe Kardashian, to jail to serve her sentence.

Image Via: Getty

Celebrity Quotes: Gwyneth Paltrow

“Hmm … maybe to go live in the projects for a few years to get some authenticity, maybe.”

Gwyneth Paltrow on Joaquin Phoenix’s rap career.

Via: People, Getty

Kristen Stewart Disses “Twilight” and Its Fans

“Twilight” actress and weed-lover Kristen Stewart was notably absent from this past Sunday’s Oscar ceremony. Buzz surrounding the possibility that Stewart would present with her co-star and my love slave, Robert Pattinson fizzled once Sparklepants showed up on the red carpet flying solo (Sorry honey, the Dame wouldn’t let me off work to join you!).

However, for some odd reason Stewart’s father, television producer John Stewart was at the ceremony and stopped for a few red-carpet interviews of his own. When asked by Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush as to why his daughter declined presenting at the ceremony, Stewart replied that KStew will present at the Oscars under certain conditions:

“When it’s a great movie, not just one that makes a lot of money.”

Ouch! Apparently, good old dad wasn’t as fond of the teen-vampire romance as the rest of us. I don’t think KStew’s feelings are too hurt as she seems to share his view on the film. I am led to believe she had to decline presenting because there wasn’t enough for her to find a designer willing to make her a dress out of hemp.

In an interview with this month’s Nylon Magazine, Stewart gave her two cents about “Twilight” Mania and the fans that have made the franchise so popular:

“Anywhere we’d go for ‘Twilight’ was a psychotic situation. The sound was deafening, and it’s thoughtless, as well… You get a slew of all these bulls**** questions like, ‘What’s it like to kiss a vampire?’ and ‘How much do you love Robert?’ Then you’ll get one that’s actually real, but you’re like, ‘No, I can’t right now, I can’t even consider [it].”

Unfortunately for Kristen, she is contractually obligated to continue making the “Twilight” saga. Hey, at least it’s a lot of money for weed and munchies, right?

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Images Via: Nylon

Top 10 Celebrity Quotes of 2008

10 – “I sit there and I’ll look back and I’m like: I’m a smart person. What the hell was I thinking?” – Britney Spears, reflecting on her erratic behavior from the beginning of the year, in MTV’s documentary For the Record.

9 – “I feel so embarrassed.” – Miley Cyrus, apologizing before the release of her back-baring Vanity Fair photo.

8 – “Maybe you’re the problem.” – David Letterman, suggesting to Lauren Conrad a possible reason why she has issues with all of her Hills friends, on The Late Show.

7 – “I can snort you under the table.” – Elton John, bickering with a tipsy Lily Allen onstage, at the GQ Men of the Year Awards.

6 – “You know, they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull? Lipstick.” – Former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, introducing herself to voters at the Republican National Convention.

5 – “I’m f*cking Matt Damon.” – Sarah Silverman, in her Emmy Award winning mock video for boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel, on the 5th anniversary of his late night show.

4 – Ben Affleck: “Thank God my daughter is too young [to understand].”
Jimmy Kimmel: “Well, she’s our daughter now.” – After Kimmel and Affleck revealed their star-studded revenge video – “I’m F–ing Ben Affleck” – on Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon

3 – “I toot under the sheets, I spend a lot of money and I can belch the ABC’s.” – Jessica Simpson, on what her boyfriends put up with, to People Magazine.

2 – “I’m still sober!” – Tatum O’Neal, following her arrest for buying cocaine, to The New York Post.

1 – “She’s just fat!” – Felicity Huffman, squashing the pregnancy rumors surrounding her Desperate Housewives’ costar Eva Longoria Parker, to People Magazine