This is the last thing I want to see. I rather watch Ryan Seacrest give his hair an hour long pep talk or a documentary on rubber bands over seeing Lohan making sexy times.

Lucky for us, there may be no truth to the rumors of a Lindsay Lohan sex tape. Reports by the Daily Mail claim there is a 47 second sex tape of Lindsay rubbing her fire-box on some waiter from IHOP. Ok, so I am guessing he works at IHOP, but the report says he works at a well known chain. Obviously Lohan likes to sprinkle her French Toast with blow and Valtrex, so my money is on her favorite Sunday worship spot.

“A 47-second tape of the actress frolicking naked with a mystery male is currently being [shopped] around LA. Now a source told the Mirror: ‘This video file is dynamite. It is pretty seedy and shows Lindsay engaged in a particular sex act which should remain behind closed doors.’”

I’d like to know what types of “sex acts” are ok for public display. My confusion doesn’t stop there as I question who exactly “frolics” while doing their hump? When Gossip Cop asked her about these burning questions she replied: “What sex tape? Haha.”
As you ponder this, please enjoy pics of Lindsay looking like yesterdays floppy boob red light special at a sex toy party. Sadly, that is not a joke.

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