chelsea kane

And the Winner of ‘Dancing With the Stars’ is…

Going into last night’s finale on ABC’s “Dancing with the Stars” we had three couples, but only one would walk away with the Mirrorball trophy. It was down to Hines Ward, Kirstie Alley, and Chelsea Kane.

Many people were predicting that Kirstie would win it all because of all the progress she’s made over the season. And of course we can’t forget how much weight she’s lost while in the competition. I guess the whole theory of dancers and the great shape they’re in is true. All three stars danced their butts off this season, but who danced away on top?

It’s that time again when “stars” whose career needs a reheat in the public microwave slip on enough sequins to make Johnny Weir swoon, dance for relevance.

ABC has confirmed some of the has-beens that will be doing the fox trot for that janky ball trophy on DWTS. Here is a rundown of the cast and why they are/were famous…

Dancing with the Stars Cast 2011 (Season 12):

Kristie Alley – A million Scientology jokes wrapped in Lane Bryant’s finest
Petra Nemcova – Model
Kendra Wilkinson – Former crotch jokey of Hugh Hefner turned loveable sex tape maker/E! reality show
Wendy Williams – Talk show host with groundbreaking celebrity guest like Charo
Mike Catherwood – Wiki says he a radio personality that also goes by the name Psycho Mike and is a co-host of Loveline
Lil’ Romeo – I thought he dropped the Lil’ and is now just Romeo. Whateves. His real name is Percy and you might know him as a former Nickelodeon star and rumored father to Jamie Lynn Spears’ baby
Chris Jericho – WWF Wrestler
Chelsea Kane – Disney star (no nude photo scandal…yet)
Sugar Ray Leonard – Boxing Legend that has nothing to do with that band with the douche who has a penchant for too much Sun In
Hines Ward – Steelers Wide Receiver
Ralph Macchino – The original Karate Kid! AKA Gonna Win This Mess

Sounds like the typical lineup. However, it will take something like Anderson Cooper joining the cast to beat this….