No, you haven’t fallen into my diary I scribbled Mrs. Jake Gyllenhaal in and weaved dreams of eating ice cream with Jakey while he talks about how awesome my Lisa Frank lunch box is. This shiz is actually happening…
Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift have followed their apple picking date with a dip in the pool and ice cream. Seriously.
“Coast-to-coast cuddlefests! After flirty dates in and around NYC on Oct. 23 and 24, Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal shared a happy Halloween weekend in California. First, they hit the pool at the Post Ranch in Big Sur.
“Taylor laughed at everything Jake said. At one point, she measured herself against Jake on her tiptoes.” (An observer adds that Gyllenhaal “held her hand.”) Then, late on Monday, Swift, 20, and Gyllenhaal, 29, stopped for an ice cream break at McConnell’s, 200 miles south in Santa Barbara. “They looked at all the flavors and couldn’t decide, so they asked the counter girls for help,” a staffer says of the duo, who were “happy” and “friendly.”
To really make you through some this is kinda creepy and no long cute shade, he chose Swiss chocolate chip while she picked yogurt with rainbow sprinkles. This is the kinda of shiz you patronize your niece with. It’s not the almost 10 year age gap (he will be 30 in December) that bothers me so much as the fact that he is a grown ass man taking someone who is eternally 12 out for ice cream dates and “cuddlefests.” Maybe Taylor’s cutesy-pie demeanor is all a ruse and she secretly smokes cigars and swigs aged scotch while watching CSPAN.
I seriously hope they aren’t dating and Jake is just doing some sort of Big Brother program to keep teen celebs from shaving their head and hitting rehab before they are 21. Seriously Jake Gyllenhaal. Stop it. Just stop. You are about to be replaced by Bear Grylls on my To Do List

























































