Sir Elton John and David Furnish Have a Baby

This shiz needs to be a reality show. It’s like the best version of ‘My Two Dads’ EVER.

Sir Elton John and David Furnish have welcomed their baby to the world on Christmas Day. They used a surrogate to pop out their new baby friend and named him Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John. (I was really hoping for something like Fiericio Von ManiPedi.)

“We are overwhelmed with happiness and joy at this very special moment. Zachary is healthy and doing really well, and we are very proud and happy parents.”

Most people are clutching their pearls and gasping because Elton is one of village elders and they seem to think that he is too old to raise a child. I give them mah bitch please look. How many of those teenage tricks crapping out kids are better fit to be parents? Plus…if the Kardashians are allowed to breed then monkeys should be allowed to raise children.

I say congrats to Elton and David.

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Images Via: WENN.com

Elton John Claims Jesus Was A Gay Man

elton-john-parade-magazine

According to British singer Elton John, Jesus was a gay man.

DON’T HURT US!!!! We’re merely reporting what Elton is quoted as saying. We love Jesus. We love gays. We even love Paris Hilton and her cavernous lady business. We are not here to judge, but merely bring you the news.

So here it is…

Sir Elton recently sat down with the folks at Parade Magazine where is denounced religion altogether. Then he took it one step farther.

Via The New York Daily News:

“I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems. On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him.”

We are well aware that Jesus+Gay= BOOM goes the dynamite. So please kittens, be gentle with us this morning. We are indeed Pro-Mo, but try to resist shanking each other over someone’s opinion. Elton also went on to explain that he is done with being a celebrity.

“Fame attracts lunatics. I never had a bodyguard, ever, until Gianni [Versace] died. I don’t like celebrity anymore.”

This is horrible news to Elton’s tiara and wig collection.

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Images Via: WENN.com, Parade

Robert Pattinson’s Naked Chest and $20K Kisses

Tell me, who do I make my check out to? “Twilight” hunk Robert Pattinson auctioned off kisses for two people at $20,000 a piece in Cannes at last nights amfAR’s Cinema Against AIDS event. The bidding became so high that Pattinson was split between two bidders, who each paid the massive donation for the chance to win a kiss on the cheek from Sparklepants.

The offer of a special screening of Quentin Tarantino’s World War II revenge movie “Inglourious Basterds” raised 60,000 for the charity. David Furnish, husband of Elton John, generously sold his own watch. Also up for grabs at the auction was one of those ridiculous Chanel-branded Segway scooters and a joking strip-tease from Josh Hartnett. Fortunately for him – and us -bidding never got high enough. Maybe they should have asked Robert Pattinson instead? Bill Clinton’s personal Alpine Alto saxophone, which was signed by the former president, went on to sell for an unbelievable $130K.

Per People:

“Everyone in this room is better off than 99.9 percent of people on this entire earth,” he told the gathering, which also included Marion Cotillard, Robin Wright Penn, Eva Herzigova and Paris Hilton.”

You mean Paris Hilton could actually quit sleezing around for one night for a good cause? I guess miracles do happen!

Sharon Stone hosted the 16th annual event Thursday night at the exclusive Hotel du Cap on the French Riviera. The evening also paid tribute to Liam Neeson’s late wife Natasha Richardson. A emotion-filled Sharon remembered the actress as “a passionate supporter and fund raiser” for the AIDS cause. Later, singer Annie Lennox performed a song in honor of the actress.

Its nice to see stars helping to give back to charities.

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Images Via: INF Daily, Lainey Gossip