Jennifer Aniston Tanked

Much like her relationships, Jennifer Anistons’ new movie “Management” was a huge failure this weekend! The movie opened in 212 theaters this weekend, with a $1,783 per screen average, for a $378,000 opening.

Warning to the few who actually are interested in this movie – Spoilers ahead!

In the movie, Aniston plays Sue, a workaholic sales rep, and is pursued by a guy named Mike played by Steve Zahn, who works at the Arizona roadside motel where she stops over while on business. Mike awkwardly tries to woo her with bottles of wine he claims are gifts from the management, and Sue eventually lowers her guard enough to allow Mike to feel her up some so he won’t think his entire attempt at seducing her was a flop. The next morning Sue seduces Mike in the laundry room before leaving. Mike then travels to Maryland, obsessively in love with her. Sue is surprised to see him and tells him he can’t stay long. In reality, this is the part where she would be calling security to get him out of her office. But in movie-land, they end up spending a few days together being charming before he heads for home. A few months later, she stays at the motel again (can someone please tell me why women in movies are so stupid?), and Mike and Sue hang out some more. Sue leaves again, and Mike keeps chasing her, starting first at Maryland again and then cross-country where Sue has gone to reunite with her ex, Django, a former punk rocker but now yogurt entrepreneur played by Woody Harrelson. This winds up being a romantic comedy about two people who are supposed to be together. But seriously, the way Mike keeps popping up in Sue’s life from a long distance comes off as more than just a bit creepy and not at all charming. But of course this is a movie, so the stalker will get the girl!

I get that there’s a certain amount of leeway we’re supposed to give to romantic comedies. But when a movie tries to pass off stalkerish behavior as cute and when the object of their affection doesn’t immediately run for a restraining order, it becomes impossible for me to just suspend my disbelief and follow a movie’s agenda of romance. This movie would hold my attention as little as Paris Hilton does. No wonder this was a flop!