Robert Pattinson Goes to Hotel Drunk with Blonde Woman- PICTURES

We have all been here before. You are getting your ho stroll on and the martinis are flowing like obscenities from Alec Baldwin’s mouth and then BAM…you are doing the Drunk-N-Stumble into a taxi.

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Robert Pattinson was spotted drinking at The Ivy Club after attending the premiere and after party for “Remember Me.” However, Pattinson and his Twilight Saga costar, Kristen Stewart, are rumored to be dating/practically married/lovahs. This is all fine and dandy until you wake up the next morning and find a random blonde in your bed. (My immediate dread is that I will have to pretend to give him my number and then share my Pop Tarts with him before I kick him out.) They were photographed being helped into a cab before speeding off to Pattinson’s hotel around 1 am.

Maybe she was his…nanny and Sparklepants was just super tired and she was going to tuck him in and read him “Good Night Moon.” Meh…I hope he double bagged it either way.

UPDATE – Some readers think that this may be one of his reps/Unicorn Patch tamers/agents. What do you think?

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Images Via: WENN.com

Lindsay Lohan: Rehab is Like a Vacation

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Yup. This pretty much says it all. Lindsay Lohan recently blabbed to The Sun about how her dad is a massive douche and led her to drug abuse, but now she insists she is all better and “allowed to drink again” because she went to a Costco version of rehab. (Remembah that? No? Well, Click HERE to read up on her daddy issues.)

After that story spread through the net she was photographed partying 3 consecutive nights and even allegedly getting drunk and throwing cigarettes at waitresses. (Click HERE for Lindsay’s London Drunken Debacle.)

Now she is unleashing even more verbal fireworks for us to giggle about.

Via SF Gate:

“The second two times I went to rehab, I had to go because it was a court thing. It was an obligation. I had to do it to stay out of getting any jail time. And I took responsibility for that. And it was like a vacation.

“I love meeting new people and seeing what they’ve been experiencing. That’s what I go through in different characters. And I met some great people. It was a nice time to shut everyone off for a while because there was so much noise… It was a positive experience. When I was there it was like, there’s a lot of people that I know who should really be here now, not for drugs or alcohol abuse – just to learn about life. The world is nuts.”

I am surprised she did add: “Rehab is like an untapped well of Ambien! It’s like organized networking for blow whores with a bit of yoga mixed in.”

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Images Via: Lindsaylohansource

Lindsay Lohan Throws Cigarettes at London Waitresses

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Wherever Lindsay Lohan goes, its a safe bet to say that drama seems to follow. Lindsay, who is in London following her BRITs afterparty event, danced the night away at a nightclub and it sounds as if she might have been having a little too much fun, dancing on the sofas and hurling cigarettes at the waitresses.

Per Mirror.co.uk:

“She was so caught up in it all she forgot to go to the gifting suite to collect her hundreds of pounds worth of goodies.”

Apparently, that one night of partying wasn’t enough for Lindsay who went out again the night after, staying out until 4:30am before she got back to her hotel when she noticed she was locked out. Lindsay, never one to let the opportunity for drama to pass her by, and her friends were seen banging loudly on the door to hotel until security finally let them in.

And Linds was back on form again on Wednesday night where she held court with pals at trendy Mahiki club. We’re told: “She treated her pals to a table full of champers and £100 a pop treasure chests. The guys and gals alike were queuing up to meet her.” But she partied so late that she got locked out of her hotel at 4.30am, and had to bang on the door for the concierge.

I guess money really can’t buy class. In Lohan’s case it’s more like hand-jobs can’t buy class.

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Images Via: WENN.com

Michael Lohan & NeNe Leakes War Of Words

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Another war of words erupted on “The Insider” last night, this time between attention seeker Michael Lohan and “Real Housewives of Atlanta” star NeNe Leakes.

Lohan has been speaking out to the media alot lately, saying that he wants to petition for his daughter’s Lindsay Lohans‘ conservatorship because he believes she is addicted to prescription drugs. Lohan appeared via satellite on the show, and Leakes barely let Lohan have a chance to defend himself for his public actions, though that still didn’t stop him from lashing back at her. She accused him of being a sell-out parent who is trying to make money on his daughter, calling him things like a “toxic parrot” and “manipulator,” but he denied the claims.

Per NY Daily News:

“I believe you’re just trying to make money off of Lindsay,” Leakes said. “You’re always in the press.”

Lohan responded, saying he hasn’t made any money off of his daughter and that he’s the only one trying to help her.

“I’m not going see my daughter die!” he said. “You have Michael Jackson, you had Heath Ledger, Adam Goldstein. You can go back to John Belushi, Anna Nicole Smith, and even Elvis Presley. It was prescription drugs that killed these people. I’m not going watch my daughter die.”

Undeterred, Leakes continued, threatening him physically. “Do not make me come after you,” she warned. “I will eat you alive.”

“Do something worthwhile and promote Nutri-System,” says Lohan. “Give your chair a break and move your fat a** outta there!”

Guess we know now where Lindsay gets her “Oh, well she’s fat” comebacks from. Leakes then takes it another step farther, telling Lohan to ‘go hang out with Jon Gosselin.’ Bah-Zing! Their war of the words ended with Lohan taking off his mic and leaving his chair, abruptly ending the interview. Come on now… we’re all adults here, aren’t we?

It’s been a rough couple of weeks for Daddy Lohan, who is reportedly about to get served with a restraining order by Lindsay. This comes after he made it public knowledge that he hoped stage an intervention for her whose alarming appearance and erratic behavior has left him sure she’s been popping pills and drinking in excess. Lindsay didn’t appreciate her father’s heart-to-heart with the tabloids and obviously Leakes didn’t either! But in the end, its Papa Lohan who looks like the bigger man, as he’s issued an apology to Ms. Leakes.

Per The Insider:

“I apologize to the producers of ["The Insider"], the viewers and even Miss Leakes for coming back at her, for her attack on me, in the inappropriate manner I did. I do however wish I had known she was on the panel because then I would have known what I was in for and I would have handled things differently. To begin with, she may have children, but none in a crisis situation. Second, for her to call me a broke a** when I am not, but she had a house in foreclosure and 2 cars repoed [sic], I would have addressed that as well. This show was about helping my daughter and owning up to my part of her life and why I have taken these measures. Not a personal attack on Lindsay or me. I am sorry for my conduct and I hope Ms. Leakes is for hers.”

Take this with a grain of salt – Knowing him, its just another way to keep his name floating about. Pick up on the cheap shots in his so-called apology? Check out the video above for your LOL’s of the day!

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Images Via: wenn.com

Lindsay Lohan IS the Next Meryl Streep Y’all

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This American jewel is totally going to be the next Meryl Streep….of straight to DVD movies. After clubbing with her 15 year old sister, Ali Lohan, this weekend the twosome hit LAX looking haggard. Of course they looked like they had been fished out of the drains of the local Mystic Spray Tan joint after spending the weekend partying until 6 in the morning. Lindsay Lohan and Ali started out Friday evening at Teddy’s where they bumped into Jason Segel (nude guy from “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”) and squeed with joy. They then reportedly did a costume change and took Jason to Adam Levine’s house to finish partying until the wee hours of the morning.

Poor Ali Lohan. I feel bad for her. She already looks like disgruntled Applebee’s hostess who moonlights as a stripper who specializes in foot fetishes.. Imagine what this girl is going to look like when she is 30…Egads.

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Images Via: Zimbio

Lindsay Lohan Mess of the Day

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Ah, yes. This delicate and classy rose must have her own reality show. Someone get her NBC on the phone because a beauty and talent like this should not be wasted! It is a crime against mankind to withhold the purity of…ok so this is full of sarcasm and I can’t possibly understand who on Earth would want to watch Lindsay Lohan consider taking a shot of Tilex chased with Red Bull after she has exhausted her supply of Grey Goose.

This little gossip gold mine left Bardot last night after reportedly drinking herself silly. Every episode of her show would be about bar hopping, bed hopping and hopping up on coke. I digress…she and Britney Spears pay my bills so I say huzzah for the walking definition of hot mess.

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Images Via: wenn.com

Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan Together Again

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Maybe her daddy is loosening her strings just a little too much lately… This past Sunday night, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan met up at the Grand Star Jazz Club in LA, cheesin’ for a couple of snapshots and appearing to have a great time together. While neither of them looked like they were drinking anything harder than a coke, the two have a bad history from their wilder days of partying together.

Maybe the two were simply sharing hair-dying tips, since both recently went back to blonde. Maybe Britney was schooling Lindsay on the art of the successful comeback. Who knows, But whatever it is, it simply just can’t be good. The last time these two hung out, it wasn’t long after that Britney was admitted to a psych ward, and Lindsay started on her bed-hopping quest, then declaring soon afterwards she was no longer straight. Hmmm… could this be the calm before the storm? Or maybe the key ingredient for the storm last time was Paris Hilton, who thankfully was missing from the pow-wow this time around. She was around both girls, along with Nicole Richie, when all their troubles and meltdowns started.

Word to the wise, Papa Spears – Keep Paris Hilton away from your daughter at all costs! And Doug Reinhardt – Run! Run while you still can!

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Image Via: Wenn.com, Rolling-Blackouts

Jennifer Lopez has Hissy-Fit Birthday

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Here’s a little bit of advice – if you ever are lucky enough to receive an invitation to any kind of party from Jennifer Lopez, by all means please make sure you arrive on time! Lopez, who entered the shindig to Sarah Vaughan’s “Whatever Lola Wants,” re-claimed her spot at the top of the Diva-List during a surprise 40th birthday bash this weekend when she “threw a fit” and became visibly upset and embarrassed at the guests who were arriving late.

Per NY Daily News:

“Jennifer’s party was very intimate, and there were a noticeable amount of empty seats when the dinner started. Jennifer was really irritated. She was fuming because people were late, and complained about it really loudly to Marc,” said one partygoers. “Javier Munoz was the only person who gave advance notice that he was going to be late, because he was doing a show on Saturday night. But the others had no excuse. Being late is the height of rudeness, and guests were still arriving at midnight.”

Midnight? You can bet little miss ‘Jenny from the block’ was none too pleased about this! Singer Alicia Keys and boyfriend Swiss Beats were among the late attendees – so I wouldn’t count on an invite for them next time! Lopez was also said to be upset over best friends Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes not attending – instead, they reportedly were too busy hanging out with David and Victoria Beckham. Oooooo sick burn!

Despite her childish behavior, Lopez managed to put her big girl panties back on and she and her guests made the most out of the evening, drinking champagne and partying until after 4am. Husband Marc Anthony even got up on stage to sing his wife a song in Spanish, which had her bursting into happy tears.

Aw, how sweet *gags* Hmmm… No mention on if bff and fellow Scientologist Leah Remini attended…

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Image Via: Bauer Griffin

Lindsay Lohan is a Liar, Liar Crotch on Fire

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Wow Lindsay – how many more people are you going to add to your list of people who are furious with you? After a night out with the boys, Justin Timberlake appeared to be headed to the dog house with girlfriend Jessica Biel. Witnesses claim that Timberlake was in full party mode, acting a little bit on the crazy side, and cheating on Jessica. Lindsay Lohan calimed he was being unfaithful (click here to read about Lilo’s cheating claims).

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Per Page Six:

“He was drinking tequila all night. At one point, he cleared out a little space and started break dancing. He was bumping into people and spilling drinks. It was hilarious.”

Hmmm so far, sounds no more out of sorts than any of my house parties! At one point during the night, Lindsay Lohan came out to the dance floor and tried to dance with Justin, who apparently had no interest in the actress and basically told her to take a hike. No stranger to rejection, you’d think Lohan would go on about her spaced-out way and forget about all of this… But instead, she decided to act out a little bit of revenge against Timberlake, by going the route of Twitter. How mature! By Twittering messages such as “where’s jb cheater” that night and “Why do people cheat?” the day after. Lohan was pretty obviously attempting to get back at the singer who shunned him away. Rumors are flying rampant after those messages that Justin was seen dancing and cozying up to a brunette who wasn’t his current girlfriend. But now the owner of the club has come out to defend Justin, and all but call out Lohan by name on her lies.

Per Contact Music:

“My partner, Danny A, was with Justin and a few of his guy friends the entire night, and I was within 15 feet of him the whole time he was there, and we know for sure he was not doing anything with other girls. He was having a good time with the guys, and came and left with them. I have surveillance cameras that show this to be the case and anything you are hearing is simply not true,” said “Avenue” owner Noah Tepperberg.

Eventually Lohan backtracked on the remarks she made, claiming the messages were left by someone who happened to hack into her Twitter account. How convenient! Doesn’t matter if Timberlake cheated or not – he still had enough common sense and self respect to keep his distance from Lohan, and for that I think he deserves some major kudos!

Images Via: Splash, AP

Jonathan Rhys Meyers Wants a Spanking

And before you all go getting excited…I have already called dibs.

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Jonathan Rhys Meyers is back on the sauce according to assumptions. He was allegedly taunting French police before boarding a plane out of the country. He challenge the law enforcement to fight him at the Charles DeGaulle airport before being cuffed and taken in for investigation. Meyers sobriety has constantly been in up in the air since his 2005 rehab rodeo began.

Per The Sun Via UPI:

“He threw wads of euros at the officials and bragged of his wealth, before shouting, “You wanna hit me? Hit me!” He was released from police custody after several hours pending further investigations.”

This time he escaped without charges. His last scene happened while in Dublin nearly 2 years ago. At the time he was brought in on charges of being drunk and disorderly only to be dropped later.

I love a good drunk. They usually are a good laugh or will buy you anything. However, this isn’t the sexy fun kind of drunk. Sometimes you can’t take a ho anywhere. Remind me to bring my Lady Bic to shave that icky little goatee off.

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Images Via: Wenn