Well of course he isn’t going to tell Vanity Fair that Angelina Jolie is nuttier than squirrel poo and has a voodoo vagina that can swallow a man whole. Of course, Depp has rarely been hesitant to speak his mind. So I am at a draw.

Johnny Depp spoke with the magazine about his career trials and tribulations. One of them was meeting and costarring with Angelina Jolie for “The Tourist.” He admits he was nervous to meet her, but asserts that he was pleasantly surprised.

“You don’t know what she might be like—if she has any sense of humor at all. I was so pleased to find that she is incredibly normal, and has a wonderfully kind of dark, perverse sense of humor.”

Depp didn’t stop there when it came to singing the praises of Angie. He compared her traits to that of one of the world’s beloved icons.

“I’ve had the honor and the pleasure and gift of having known Elizabeth Taylor for a number of years,” he says. “You know, you sit down with her, she slings hash, she sits there and cusses like a sailor, and she’s hilarious. Angie’s got the same kind of thing, you know, the same approach.”

I am guessing her confused her offer to dress up in a latex Miss Piggie outfit while he filled a bathtub full of Jello to wrestle in as ‘perverse humor.’ (Oh don’t pretend you don’t know what I am talking about. Everyone has had those offers where you giggle nervously and wave as you turn the corner and run like a mother of 8 after the last Tickle Me Whatever Toy on Black Friday.)

Aside from the rumors that Jolie was trying to seduce Depp on set, Johnny also mentions his portrayal of Jack Sparrow worried Disney big-wigs to the point they accused him of ruining the film.

“They couldn’t stand him. They just couldn’t stand him. I think it was Michael Eisner, the head of Disney at the time, who was quoted as saying, ‘He’s ruining the movie.’ Depp reveals to Smith, however, that he remained unfazed by the studio’s hysteria. “Upper-echelon Disney-ites, going, What’s wrong with him? Is he, you know, like some kind of weird simpleton? Is he drunk? By the way, is he gay?… And so I actually told this woman who was the Disney-ite… ‘But didn’t you know that all my characters are gay?’ Which really made her nervous.”

Whatever Disney. I am pretty sure Jack the Ambiguously Gay Lush Sparrow has nothing on the slew of Disney starlets visiting rehab like it’s Costco.

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