Amber Tamblyn and David Cross are Engaged…Seriously

Joan of Arcadia and Tobia Funke have been dating for nearly 3 years. File this under random couples you didn’t know about and probably wouldn’t have unless one of them had a string of affairs with a one legged IHOP waitress that went public via a National Enquirer cover. Irony = relevancy.

Life and Style is reporting that despite their 19 year age difference, Amber Tamblyn, 28, and David Cross, 47, are engaged. They kept their never-nude sexy making a secret along with their engagement. According to a “source close to Amber,” David proposed a couple of weeks ago.

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Janet Jackson Engaged ?!

If you believe everything you read on the internet, then Janet Jackson is engaged. So far none of your typically reliable media sources have confirmed the news, but we are going to take a looksie at it anyway.

Janet started dating Qatari businessman Wissam Al Mana in 2009. The current engagement rumor insists that they have actually been engaged for over a year, but waited to make the announcement until she was done with her world tour. According to National Enquirer, “friends” and “sources” say that Janet and Wissam will be making the official engagement announcement by the end of this summer.

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Kat Von D and Jesse James Split

Despite having all the qualities Jesse James requires in a woman (lady parts and cooter tattoo), he and Kat Von D are no longer engaged.

Last night Kat announced via her PR team (Twitter) that she and Jesse split just in time for her new season of ‘L.A. Ink.’

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Nikki Reed Engaged to Paul McDonald – RING PHOTOS

Nikki Reed wasn’t shy in showing off her new fiancé at the 2011 MTV Movie Awards. The ‘Twilight’ star has been dating ‘American Idol’ alumni, Paul McDonald for a few short months and they are reportedly ready to wed. They met back March and have been smitten every since.

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Kate Hudson and Matt Bellamy Engaged – VIDEO

Normally women get a case of the Awws! at the news of babies and weddings. (It gives me the Ewws, but I am not programmed to enjoy the company of babies and children.) However, I have found that scorned Muse fans typically cross their arms and get a case of the eye rolls when Kate Hudson’s name pops up. They are going to be throwing extra shade as the news that Kate and Matt Bellamy are engaged spreads. Hudson announced that she and Matt got engaged last week as she flashed a huge diamond ring on The Today Show. (Video below…)

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Natalie Portman is Pregnant and Engaged

Ah, here is one of those heartwarming holiday stories about getting engaged on Christmas…

Natalie Portman and choreographer Benjamin Millepied are engaged and expecting a baby. The story starts with Natalie and Ben meeting on set of “Black Swan” and making google-me eyes at each other. Millepied the kicked out his live in girlfriend of 3 years so Natalie and all her perfection could inhabit his UK home.

Now, reps for Portman have confirmed to People that she is pregnant and engaged.

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Crystal Harris and Hugh Hefner Engaged – PHOTOS

Hugh Hefner is engaged to 24 year old Crystal Harris. The Playboy founder proposed on Christmas Eve with his gift of a ring. Hef, 84, Tweeted that he and his Playmate girlfriend “exchanged gifts” alerting everyone to his news.

“After the movie tonight, Crystal & I exchanged gifts. I gave Crystal a ring. A truly memorable Christmas Eve.”

On Christmas day, amid many questions as to the nature of the ring, Hugh clarified that the present was indeed an engagement ring.

“When I gave Crystal the ring, she burst into tears. This is the happiest Christmas weekend in memory.”

“Yes, the ring I gave Crystal is an engagement ring. I didn’t mean to make a mystery out of it. A very merry Christmas to all.”

Que Holly Madison screaming WHY WASN’T IT ME??!?!!!!!!!!!

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Seth Rogan is Engaged to Lauren Miller – VIDEO

Seth Rogen confirmed that he is engaged on Conan Obrien’s TBS debut. During the lackluster premiere of ‘Conan’ the “Green Hornet” star talked about how he bought the ring and then popped the question to girlfriend Lauren Miller. Miller has appeared in small roles in some of Seth’s films including ‘Zack and Miri Make a Porno.’ The two have been dating for 6 years.

“Literally, I felt like someone had given me like a truckload of heroin to hold onto,” he said. “I felt like the feds were going to kick in my door at any second. I couldn’t have a conversation with my girlfriend. All I could think of was this ring. Like ‘Don’t say ‘Lord of the Rings!’ Don’t mention anything about a ring!”

Unable to contain the secret that he had bought Miller and engagement ring, he proposed as soon as he got home.

“”She was in our closet changing, and she was literally only in her underpants, and her boobs were out,” said Rogen. “I’d already kind of started, and I was like ‘Oh man, her boobs are out! That’s not part of the plan!’ I didn’t picture it like this, and I know she didn’t picture it like this. No little girl is like ‘It’ll happen in a closet with my t**s out. I figured the only appropriate thing was to place the ring on her nipple.”

Better than a stank a$$ monkey cage at the zoo. (Long, bitter story.)

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Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are Engaged

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are vanilla squared, but they are engaged. So bust out the corndogs and tissues for Jessica Simpson. Nick Tweeted the confirmation of their engagement

“Hey all. If anyone’s heard the rumors of my engagement, they are absolutely true! Vanessa and I couldn’t be happier. Thanks for all the love”

A rep, who was glad to finally have something to do, also had the couple craft a statement full of giggles and rainbows…

“We’re excited and incredibly happy about our engagement and we look forward to a wonderful future together.”

As far as the act of putting a ring on it goes, he stated that he proposed “on bended knee” with what is rumored to be an Asscher-cut diamond with baguettes from Bader & Garrin.

“I popped the question on bended knee. I do a lot of squats so my knees are very strong.”

Their chocolate fountain, cascading white lilies, chicken tenders buffet and open bar will be brought to you by Jessica Simpson’s money.

Tom Hardy Talks Gay Flings

Inception‘ star, Tom Hardy, isn’t afraid to admit that he dabbled in diddling other men.

In an interview with Now Magazine (via Daily Mail) Tom, who is currently engaged to Charlotte Riley, talks about his days experimenting with other men. Hardy was asked point blank if he had sex with other men to which he replied:

“As a boy? Of course I have. I’m an actor for f**k’s sake. I’ve played with everything and everyone. I love the form and the physicality, but now that I’m in my thirties, it doesn’t do it for me. I’m done experimenting but there’s plenty of stuff in a relationship with another man, especially gay men that I need in my life. A lot of gay men get my thing for shoes. I have definite feminine qualities and a lot of gay men are incredibly masculine.

A lot of people say I seem masculine, but I don’t feel it. I feel intrinsically feminine. I’d love to be one of the boys but I always felt a bit on the outside. Maybe my masculine qualities come from overcompensating because I’m not one of the boys.”

I love that we are embracing the slut thing in Hollywood. Gerard Butler is looking for a new VP now that Sienna Miller is on ho-leave with Jude Law. I also find it disturbingly interesting that he found the question dumb on the basis that he is an “an actor for f**k’s sake” thusly implying that playing with other people’s genitals is just part of the job.

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