Miley Cyrus Engaged ?!

It’s Monday morning and I am still scrubbing the glitter out of my hair and the fluorescent black light paint off my I GET SLEAZY FOR RON WEASLY shirt, but people are still wondering if Miley Cyrus is engaged. This “news” broke out Friday and is still hanging around like the smell of your attempt to make vegan chimichangas.

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Bobbi Kristina Engaged to Her Brother ?!

I get that this girl lost her mother and had Bobby Brown for a father so she gets a free pass on being a wholelotta crazy, but Bobbi Kristina is reportedly engaged to her brother.

Bobby and Whitney had practically adopted Nick Gordon, but never made it legal. Despite the legal issues never being sorted out, the family considered Nick their son. TMZ states that friends have become extremely concerned with Nick and Bobbi’s relationship. They used to call each other brother/sister, but now they are living together and appear to be engaged. They were seen out in public kissing, holding hands and sporting what looks like an engagement ring.

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Jessica Biel’s Engagement Ring – PHOTOS

So this is what getting engaged to a guy who sluts it with every back up dancer, club ho stroller and human with a vagina in a 10 mile radius gets you.

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Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Engaged?! – Ring PHOTOS

Don’t you just love the gift of narcissism? Nothing says I Love YOU like a ring with your boyfriend’s initial on it. This is almost as good as a DVD of John Mayer Live in Concert.

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Britney Spears is Engaged to Jason Trawick – CONFIRMED

Britney Spears is engaged to Jason Trawick. After sending out a Tweet that fans are deciphering as an engagement ring, rumors are once again running rampant that Britney will marry for the third time. This time they are true.

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Nikki Reed Engaged to Paul McDonald – RING PHOTOS

Nikki Reed wasn’t shy in showing off her new fiancé at the 2011 MTV Movie Awards. The ‘Twilight’ star has been dating ‘American Idol’ alumni, Paul McDonald for a few short months and they are reportedly ready to wed. They met back March and have been smitten every since.

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Alex Rodriguez Dumped Cameron Diaz

Creepy couples everywhere woke up this morning, rolled over, took one look at who they was drooling on the shoulder before chewing their arm off and leaving a break up note on a Post It. (Click HERE to see what other REALLY?! couple also called it quits…)

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Crystal Harris and Hugh Hefner Engaged – PHOTOS

Hugh Hefner is engaged to 24 year old Crystal Harris. The Playboy founder proposed on Christmas Eve with his gift of a ring. Hef, 84, Tweeted that he and his Playmate girlfriend “exchanged gifts” alerting everyone to his news.

“After the movie tonight, Crystal & I exchanged gifts. I gave Crystal a ring. A truly memorable Christmas Eve.”

On Christmas day, amid many questions as to the nature of the ring, Hugh clarified that the present was indeed an engagement ring.

“When I gave Crystal the ring, she burst into tears. This is the happiest Christmas weekend in memory.”

“Yes, the ring I gave Crystal is an engagement ring. I didn’t mean to make a mystery out of it. A very merry Christmas to all.”

Que Holly Madison screaming WHY WASN’T IT ME??!?!!!!!!!!!

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Images Via: WENN.com

Jessica Simpson Bought Her Engagement Ring

Well this is about as surprising as the fact that a night with Paris Hilton will result in a Valtrex prescription. Jessica Simpson reportedly paid for her own engagement ring.

Her now fiancé, Eric Johnson, is jobless after being released from the New Orleans Saints in 2008. He hasn’t been picked up by another football team and it doesn’t look like he will be playing in the NFL anytime soon. So, this begs the question how did he pay for the $100K 4 carat ruby engagement ring? (Click HERE for photos of Simpson showing off the Neil Lane creation.)

Via PopEater:

“No way could Eric, who doesn’t have a job at the moment, afford to purchase such an expensive ring,” a friend of Jessica’s tells me. “Yes, he made a little bit of money in the NFL and is from a wealthy family, but unless his parents helped him out, Jessica must have paid for it herself.”

Because Jessica’s has been outsmarted by a can of tuna, it doesn’t surprise me that she doesn’t want a prenup either. Her father won’t let that happen, but her friends and family are smacking their heads in frustration over her lack of sense.

“First, we find out that Jessica doesn’t want to have a prenup, and now we find out that she might have paid for her own ring. It just doesn’t feel right to me,” a family friend tells me. “We all want Jessica to be happy and finally find true love after all she has been through, but she doesn’t understand that in the long run if she pays for everything it will hurt her relationship with any man.”

You’d think she would have learned after Nick walked away with $10 million following their divorce. Apparently, the lesson worked as well as being smacked on the nose with a rolled up newspaper. Perhaps little sock puppets putting on a play explaining that if Jessica has 100 corndogs then Eric could take 50 of her corndogs and eat them with another blonde trick if she doesn’t get a prenup would work.

Jessica Simpson Engagement Ring – PHOTOS

Jessica Simpson and her out of work boyfriend announced their engagement just days after her ex-husband, Nick Lachey, announced he was going to be marrying Vanessa Minnillo. Insert a million PR stunt queen jokes here. It’s far too easy to think of Creepy Papa Joe offering Eric Johnson a lifetime supply of mac and cheese (the good kind), a 3-year subscription to Field and Stream magazine and all a nacho cheese fountain in exchange for an engagement ring.

Jessica was pimping her clothing collection at Dillards in Kansas City on Saturday and wearing what is rumored to be her engagement ring. It is a 3-stone ring with a center ruby stone that is flanked by two diamonds.

I shouldn’t be so mean. I am sure it is really had nothing to do with Nick. Papa Joe’s trip to Jared’s fall clearance bin was actually just holiday shopping and Eric attending his Stunt Queens Club and swearing on a stack of Us Weekly’s was purely coincidental.

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Images Via: JJB