Bret Lockett: ‘I Never Actually Met Kim Kardashian’ – VIDEO

How dumb do you have to be to make a Kardashian look intelligent? I didn’t think it could be done, but Bret Lockett and his Kim Kardashian affair claims are proving otherwise.

Lockett, Patriots player, claims he had an affair with Kim while she has been dating Kris Humphries. He insists that they have been boinking for about 5 months. In Touch (click HERE for the original report) first ran with the story and he claimed that it was a “physical relationship.” Now, he has a case of the WHAT I MEANT WAS as CNN is entering the ring on the sext circus…

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Charges Filed Against Balloon Boy Crazy Parents

Richard Henne, father of Balloon Boy and future Michael Lohan, could face up to 6 years in jail and up to $500,000 in jail for making me miss watching Thor at the gym to report on his helium adventure. (Click here for the story of the Balloon Boy Hoax).

Sheriff Jim Alderden of Fort Collins, CO announced today that the Heene Ballon Boy nuttery has been officially deemed a hoax by the police. Charges are going to be filed and include: conspiracy, calling in a fake emergency and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Alderden talked about how the Heene family are actors with a degree in tomfoolery and are super sorry they fell for the hoax.

He then used strategery after the Larry King interview (in which the tot happily told the world “it was for the show” click here to see that) to get them to admit the wasted everyone’s time in watching a flipping balloon for hours and chanting to the helium gods for his safe return. While he couldn’t outright confirm “batch is craaaaaazy” and lied, he did confirm the investigation is well under way and they are building evidence to file the charges ASAP.

“We were looking at Class 3 misdemeanor, which hardly seems serious enough given the circumstances. We are talking to the district attorney, federal officials to see if perhaps there aren’t additional federal charges that are appropriate in this circumstance.”

They need to add booty blocking to that list of charges and make it punishable by death due to the hotness level of my gym candy I missed out on.

Kelly Rutherford Granted Restraining Order Against Estranged Husband

kelly-rutherford

Gossip Girl” star Kelly Rutherford’s relationship with her estranged husband has just gotten that much uglier! Rutherford has been granted a temporary restraining order against her husband the father of her two kids, Daniel Giersch, after claiming he has been threatening and following her, among other things. The childrens nanny, Michaela Kothanova, claims she wound up quitting because she was so unnerved by Giersch’s attitude during custody exchanges and she was even threatened with legal action when she refused to answer his questions about Rutherford. Ann Edwards, Rutherford’s mom, alleges Giersch followed her and his son, 2-year-old Hermes, to restaurants and to a store without prior agreement. The declaration filed Thursday also accuses Giersch of being inflexible with his scheduled custody visits and stressing her out so much she’s having a hard time breastfeeding their 3 month old daughter Helena.

Per Zap2it:

“I am not producing enough breast milk to store up quantities that can be given to Daniel for feeding Helena,” she claims in the document. “I believe that the stress Daniel has created for me is also negatively impacting my ability to produce milk.”

Giersch said in his own court filing Thursday that Rutherford is the one who’s switching up the visits on him and he has concerns that Kelly, her caretakers, and Kelly’s mother are causing immediate harm to their children. His lawyer says that Rutherford’s claims are nothing but ‘fabricated accusations.’

Per PopEater:

“Daniel will remain focused on co-parenting both of their children and not make any personal comments in order to continue to protect the children’s need for privacy and well being,” says his lawyer, Fahi Takesh Hallin.

A judge has ordered Giersch to stay at least 100 yards away from Rutherford, Helena and their son Hermes “except for brief and peaceful contact as required.” The restraining order is in effect for 21 days pending a court date on October 15th to hear more evidence. The once happy couple have been in and out of court for months now, hiring PIs and haggling over minor things such as the kids’ potty-training, pool fences, residency, school, travel, and more. Giersch also claims that he found out online when she had their baby. Now that cold Kelly. Since when is a simple phone call asking too much?

Rihanna Expected to Take Stand Against Chris Brown Today

rihanna-and-chris-brown-fighting

Today is a big day in the whole Rihanna vs. Chris Brown case. Rihanna is due to take the stand in court against the singer, more than four months after the horrific night where Brown was accused of assaulting her. The preliminary hearing will determine if there is enough evidence against him to stand trial. While both parties are required to appear in court today, Rhianna could very well refuse to take the stand due to the nature of the case. If she does take the stand, Rihanna is expected to describe what was written in the detective’s report from the night of the alleged attack. She could be on the stand for more than two hours. It will be her first time publicly talking about what happened the night her boyfriend allegedly attacked her. Her lawyer, Donald Etra, said Rihanna cleared her schedule so she could be in court if prosecutors call her as a witness. Her testimony could very well make or break the case.

One big question looms over Rihannas head: Will Browns attorney Mark Geragos cross examine her if she does indeed testify? If the case goes to trial, Geragos has said that he will make a big point that Rihanna was the initial aggressor in the situation, repeatedly hitting Brown before he began hitting on her. Rihanna said Brown had beaten her before and the violence was escalating. Also important to the case is the pictures taken of Rhianna after the attack. Those photos will almost certainly be introduced into evidence during todays hearing. Geragos has said he hoped to avoid the spectacle of public testimony, but plea-deal talks failed and California’s Supreme Court last week rejected his request to delay the hearing to decide if the case should go to trial.

Los Angeles Criminal Court Judge Patricia Schnegg decided against allowing cameras into the courtroom during Rihanna’s testimony, so there will be no tv or livestream coverage of todays events. Brown had better hope that Rihanna is having a good day, because his freedom ultimately lies in her hands.